but then, there came a time when i actually hated sundays. because every sunday, when i go around the mall, i'd see couples walking hand in hand.. giggling together.. leaning on each other's shoulders.. having the time of their lives. there's no escaping them. wherever i turn, i come face to face with people who look so in love. i envied them. and i did not like the bitterness i knew was creeping into my heart.
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a few weeks after i got my heart broken, a friend of mine came crying to me. her boyfriend left her for another girl. there was not much i could do but to listen and sympathize.. and thankfully, that seemed to help her a lot. a couple of days after, i found out that another one of my friends was in the same situation. and another. and another. and another. in about a month's time, i had at least five girl friends who were heart-broken, just like me. different circumstances. same hurts.
at the time my friends started confiding their love problems to me, i could not help saying to God, "Lord, bakit naman ganito? ang dami namang tulad ko. halos pare-pareho ang mga kwento namin. hindi ko naman alam kung ano'ng maitutulong ko sa kanila. sarili ko nga hindi ko pa maiayos.. paano pa akong makakatulong sa iba?" i did not understand how i could be of any help to my friends when i too was hurting, just like them.
then a familiar phrase came to mind: Wounded Healer. and i started to realize that sometimes, in order to heal ourselves, we need to reach out and help heal others first. we don't have to be in tip-top spiritual or emotional shape to offer help to a hurting soul. sometimes, what a wounded heart needs is another wounded heart.. one that understands the pain.. one that has cried the same tears.. one that has suffered the same blows.
and now i'm beginning to understand, too, how the Lord wants to work in me. He will not wave a magic wand and make all the pain go away. neither will He coddle and shield me from every hurt and suffering. instead, i believe He plans to heal my heart by sending me other hearts that are broken, too. so i can lend a listening ear.. give a comforting word.. offer a shoulder to cry on. maybe i can even cry along with the person. and strangely enough, it does seem to work. it is ironic how feeling the hurts of other people can help me deal with my own.
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Jesus. my Wounded Healer. He feels my pain. He knows my sorrow. He has gone through all my hurts, and a whole lot worse. He knows what it feels like to be heart-broken. He can empathize with me and my friends. with every one of us. Jesus knows exactly what it is i am going through. that single thought gives enough comfort, strength and encouragement.. to get through another day.. to see that life is beautiful.. and to try to be a wounded healer, myself.. just like Him.
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