hello-ween

ate out with mom and dad today. some sort of halloween treat, i guess, hehe. nah. actually my mom just didn't want to cook dinner, hehehe :p

we had fun, though. we ate at burgoo gateway. then we went to starbucks for coffee. yup. just had to use our "treat a friend" coupon which is good only for the day :)

it's nice to go out with family again. we don't often get to spend time alone (just the three of us) so this certainly is a welcome break, hehehe. thank God we (in the ministry) have a long "vacation" - no prayer meeting, no practice, no community activities for the next 3-4 days :p woohoo!! hehehe. at least i get to bond with the folks again.. :D

my current song

One Desire
Hillsongs

You gave it all for me
My sole desire, my everything
And all I am is devoted to You
How could I fail to see
You are the love that rescued me
And all I am is devoted to You

And oh, how could I not be moved
Lord here with You
So have Your way in me
Cause Lord, there is just one thing
That I will seek

This is my cry
My one desire
Is to be where You are, Lord
Now and forever
It's more than a song
My one desire
Is to be with You
Is to be with You, Jesus

leaders' retreat: diary entry#2

just came home from the retreat. i'm tired, sleepy and utterly exhausted. but i'm happy. really happy :)

just some of my thoughts from my "diary" today. i'm going off to sleep now.. zzzzzzz..

* * *

the vigil was awesome. that's the only word i can think of to describe it. i thought i'd fall asleep in the chapel.. especially since i had only about an hour's sleep today. surprisingly though, i found myself staring at the Blessed Sacrament for more than half an hour. and there was just this.. i dunno.. peaceful silence. i meditated on the question posed by msgr rig.. and was surprised by my answer as well. i thought i knew my heart's desire. turns out He knew me more than i did :)

bro chito's talk today was simple yet moving. he went overtime by about an hour, but that's okay. we didn't have time for budget planning anymore.. but i suppose that's the way the Lord wanted it. the additional input on prayer was really helpful. to me, at least. and i just couldn't help but feel that God was really zooming in on me in this retreat. hahaha. and i'm grateful :p

after bro chito's talk, glenda and leo finally made up. we were all very happy about that. after more than a year.. well, it's about time :) seeing them embrace each other and being witness to the emotional healing that took place among other members as well just brought tears to my eyes. yup.. i finally remembered how to cry, hehehe :p

i have more to say on this.. maybe on my next article. for now, i'm gonna rest. my bed beckons :)

leaders' retreat: diary entry#1

i attended a leaders' retreat this weekend (27-29 october) at gems hotel, antipolo. honestly, at first, i had second thoughts about going to the retreat. i actually didn't want to go. and the only reason i went at all was because it was *required* of all leaders in the community.

but God is really good. the retreat turned out to be exactly what i needed. and i'm *really* glad that i came :p our retreat masters, msgr rig guzman and bro chito jongco, were really God-sent. the 2-day retreat schedule was really jam-packed and we all lacked sleep; but i felt so spiritually refreshed afterwards :)

no regrets about coming. none at all.. hehe.

the following is an excerpt from my "diary" (hehe.. just typed these lines in my laptop) last saturday, 28 october..

* * *

this has been one loooooong day! haha. i thought i'd be able to update here during breaks.. but as it turns out, our breaks are all "working" breaks hehe. and i didn't want to miss any of the talks because they're all so informative and enlightening. so this is the only time i've been able to write. hmm. let's see.. what happened to my day? ok.. here's the recap:

* i slept at besp heids' place last night. and boy, did that turn out well.. hahahaha! :p

* i arrived at gems hotel with heids & nans around 8am.. when everyone was having their breakfast

* bro chito's first talk (what it means to be a leader) started at 8.15am and we had group sharing afterwards. i was grouped with bro bernard, sis lau, sis nina and sis ruby.

* the second talk (how well do you know yourself) was my favorite. i specially liked it when bro chito quoted hudson taylor: all God's giants are weak people. whew. now *that* is an encouraging thought!

* the third talk started at 1.45pm and it was about suffering. i really am happy that we got bro chito as one of our retreat masters. you can tell that he isn't just quoting a book or explaining some piece of theology. when he speaks, you can feel that he is speaking from the heart.. not just from the mind. he's been through a lot in his life.. and he's still undergoing a lot of trials.. yet he speaks with such fervor and passion for the Lord. you cannot help but admire the man :)

* soulmate came over! hahaha. i know she was there for the vigil.. not for me. but i'm glad we were *finally* able to talk. it's been a long while since we've had the chance to chat.. and that was truly one of the (many) highlights of my day :)

* msgr rig guzman gave the last talk (christian leadership: serving as Jesus did) at 8pm. i have a favorite quote from his talk, and this came from bro bo sanchez: "Lord, let me be Your child first before Your servant." but he said something that struck me as really profound. msgr rig said that we think we are serving the Lord when in fact it is He who is actually serving us. hmmm. that was certainly something to think about. in fact, we're supposed to be reflecting on this question for our vigil (i'm scheduled for 4-5am tomorrow): how have you felt God serving you today?

* i consulted bro chito regarding something that's been bothering me since i got here. i'm glad i talked to him. really glad. i'm feeling quite hopeful. i hope this lasts :)

* i kept tita may company while she practiced playing some songs on the keyboard for
tomorrow's mass :) it felt good just to be with her again. i kinda missed her :p

* we (nans, heids & i) are finishing the plans of the music ministry for the next 1 1/2 years. well, actually, *they* are doing the planning.. and i'm just typing it for them.. hehe. we're also chatting about all sorts of stuff. crazy stuff. (stuff that would not be prudent to publish on this blog, haha) we're finding it hard to sleep even though it's already late.. er.. early. hmm. we should not have taken that cold shower this evening. and i should not have drunk 3 cups of coffee earlier today.

anyway, this retreat certainly didn't turn out the way i expected. and i'm glad :) already, i have so many things i'd like to specially thank God for today. i'm grateful to Him because:

1. i was able to attend the retreat and actually *enjoy* all the talks

2. the food is good and the accomodations are decent

3. i am not too distracted.. and i am surprisingly able to concentrate

4. soulmate was able to chat with me even though she had "work" to do :p

5. bro chito was a very understanding and attentive counselor as well as a really inspiring speaker

6. msgr rig delivered a very thought-provoking and meaningful homily

7. i got to spend some quality time with tita may after a loooong time :p

8. the night is quiet and the chapel looks so appealing, even from the outside :)

9. i'm feeling good. with a halo hehehehe :p

that's it. hmm. i've gotten so many insights today. so many things for me to think about and ponder on. it's been a busy day. tomorrow's probably going to be just as busy. still, i'm happy. for the first time in a long time, really happy :)

how to get through another lonely night

"In my head

Your voice
You've got all that I need
And this make believe will get me through
Another lonely night"
(anna nalick, in my head)

ahhh. i'm back to dreaming again. and once more, i don't feel like waking up. if only moonbeams can take me to my dreamland.. *sigh*

hmmm. i'm happy. i'm sad. i have you. i'm alone. *sigh* i want to wake up to my dream..

whatta day..!

this has been one loooooooong day!! woke up early so i could come along with my dad to bring mom to the doc (her feet swell during the afternoon). we were at the clinic from 830-10am. then
we brought mom to century park hotel, manila where she attended a seminar/conference. on the way there, we were stopped by an mmda officer for some traffic "violation" we were not aware of (it was a really weird rule - probably applicable only to that spot in manila). that was when my dad found out his driver's license was expired! so after we dropped mom off at the hotel, dad and i went to farmer's cubao to have his license renewed.

the trip from manila to cubao was quite an adventure too. aside from the traffic jams we encountered, dad and i sort of got lost too.. haha. oh.. and my car (yup, we brought the old car - the lynx was being repaired) went THUD!! when dad failed to see the uncovered manhole in one of the intersections. hahahaha! we were in cubao around 12nn.

when we got to LTO farmer's branch, it was their breaktime. so we had lunch at kfc until 1pm. the queue for license renewals was soooooooo long!! so i left dad there and roamed around a bit. the picture above shows the fruits of my 4-hour walk around farmers.. bwahahahaha!!! :p

got home around 4.30pm, after i brought dad to ford libis to pick up his car. i was gonna rest a bit before going to choir prax (7pm).. but didn't really have enough time to sleep. so besp heids picked me up around 6.45pm.. and it seemed she was even more tired than i was. hahaha. that was some car ride going to st paul. we were so unusually quiet and not in the mood to talk or joke around :p

practice did wonders for our mood, though. i mean it! as soon as we got there, it was as if all our stress and tension and exhaustion just evaporated into thin air :p hahaha! (thanx to ate nene.. who's a constant source of laughs and energy, haha) we even had enough energy to go on a detour after prax just to buy some puto bumbong (highly recommended by ran, hehehe) at this tiny inconscpicuous stand somewhere in mandaluyong. we waited for about 40mins for our orders.. but it was *definitely* worth the wait :) the puto bumbong was REALLY GOOD!!! yumyumyum!! i wish i could go back there.. but i'm really not good at remembering how to get to places, hehehe :p

whew! so much for my day today. tomorrow will be another long day, i suppose. have to cram some of my checking.. then sleep at heidi's for the night.. and over the weekend we'll have our leaders' retreat.. then monday i'll have to go to school for the grades.. prax in the evening.. *sigh* it's like a 96-hour day!! hahaha. well, at least i'm all set for the weekend. packed my stuff already. hope i'm ready for "whatta weekend.." hehehehe :p

poor regine..?

yesterday the velasquez "clan" went to tarlac. we went to the wake of tita claring. we hired a van and driver to take us there and drive us home. the trip was ok.. i had fun chatting with cousins dom, ta & gabo.

anyway, when we got to tarlac, it was quite hot. there really wasn't much to do. we (the younger ones) didn't know our relatives too well.. and the "growner-ups" were chatting the day away. so i got this book from the shelf - dean koontz' book, "door to december" and started reading it.

needless to say, i had to bring the book home (i was only 4/5 of the way through with it when we finally had to leave) 'coz i never could stop reading a novel without finding out the ending. anyway, i was able to finish the book before sleeping last night.. so i was kinda happy :p

the story was fairly simple.. but i liked it just the same. it was about this 9-year old girl who was experimented upon by a group of psychologists/occultists/scientists. they wanted to train her to tap into her psychic abilities so that she may perform astral travel, telekinesis and all sorts of stuff. but they got a lot more than they bargained for when finally she succeeded to do what they wanted her to do.

anyway, the story fascinated me. it's kinda scary to think that our minds can be so easily manipulated. it's even scarier to imagine what could happen, should unscrupulous people unleash the reined-in powers of the human mind. melanie (that's the 9-year old kid in the story) was at least able to fight back - with a vengeance!! but regine.. ahhh.. poor regine. to have been an unwitting victim in all the sick experimentation..

then again, among all the characters in the book, only she was at peace in the end. no fear. none at all. hmmm.

so the question to ponder is this: whose mind is sick and whose is not? and who determines the correctness of the answer to this question? and if you were in regine's place.. which kind of sickness would you choose..?

[can't relate? read the story.. hehehehe]

gummy bears

sheesh. this character is sick. and i like him. really. hahahahaha!! :p

anyway. we're off to tarlac in a couple of minutes. like i mentioned in my previous post, we'll go to the wake of my dad's cousin. the entire family's tagging along - uncle joey & aunt amy; ninang yoli & uncle lui and cousins ta, gabo & dom. it's like a family reunion of sorts. a happy way to spend the ramadan vacation. except that there's a death in the family.

singing at the wake of fr. javellana last night. then going to a wake today.
hmmm. this halloween/all saints' day time isn't very happy, is it?

but i am.. thank goodness :)

monday ramblings

in a previous post, i included a picture similar to this one. except that the dark angel had her back turned. well, i saw this pic.. and just thought i'd post it here. hahaha. i know it's not the same angel.. but i've always wondered what she looked like up front :)

* * *

anyway. woke up a bit late today. for some reason, i wasn't able to sleep well last night :( *sigh* well, i'm not really sad or anything. i'm just.. umm.. hmm. i dunno. clueless, i guess. hahahaha :p

* * *

last night, my dad's cousin, tita claring died. she was diagnosed to have a tumor in her brain two years ago. we saw her condition deteriorate bit by bit. when we first visited her at the hospital, she was almost normal - able to carry on conversations, feed herself, crack jokes, etc. a couple of months later when we went to tarlac to check on her, her hair was all gone, she could barely talk, and she couldn't move around. well, that was the last time we saw her.. and last night, another of dad's cousins called up to tell us about the news.

i suppose there was a bit of relief, knowing that tita claring's gone off to a better place already. 'coz last we heard, she couldn't even eat solid food.. and she found it hard to drink. i guess, in a way, it is a great blessing to know that her suffering is at an end. still, a death in the family sucks.

* * *

it's monday again.. start of a new week. i'll go to school later just to finish up some stuff. *sigh* i'm not exactly feeling up to it.. and i've not finished checking all the papers yet.. but i'll have go go there just the same.

then tonight we'll have choir practice.. and sing at the wake of fr. avellana at st. paul. in a weird way, i'm not looking forward to that either. *sigh* this is going to be a loooooong week..

answer me please.. :p

wahahaha. i really find this character sooooo adorable.. :p

i love his lines. i could say them, myself.. hehehe.

i promise not to kill you.

now can i have my hug? and a kiss, too? :x

hahahaha. this is hilarious.. :p

treasure the moment

hahaha. i've been seeing this character in a lot of my searches at zedge (i regularly look at the new wallpapers and themes for my phone). he's weird.. but i find him adorable, hehehe :p

nothing much to post right now. got home late (er.. "early morning" that is) last night/this morning. had dinner at eastwood with bes heids & lils, almi/allan and doms. we ate at fazoli's (aahhhh.. that oh-so-memorable place!!) then the besses and i had hot choco at starbucks :) that's why i got home at about 1am already :p

anyway. i'm sort of happy right now. frankly, it doesn't take all that much to make me happy. really. i have very simple needs. hence this post :x

*smiles*

LIKE A LOVER
Sergio Mendes

Like a lover, the morning sun
Slowly rises and kisses you awake
Your smile is soft and fuzzy
As you let it play upon your face
Oh, how I dream
I might be like the morning sun to you

Like a lover, the river wind
Sighs and ripples its fingers through your hair
Upon your cheek it lingers
Never having known a sweeter place
Oh, how I dream
I might be like the river wind to you

How I envy a cup that knows your lips
Let it be me, my love
And a table that feels your fingertips
Let it be me, let me be your love
Bring an end to the endless days and nights
Without you

Like a lover, the velvet moon
Shares your pillow and watches while you sleep
Its light arrives on tiptoe
Gently taking you in its embrace
Oh, how I dream
I might be like the velvet moon to you

Oh, how I dream
I might be like the river wind to you

How I envy a cup that knows your lips
Let it be me, my love
And a table that feels your fingertips
Let it be me, let me be your love
Bring an end to the endless days and nights
Without you

Like a lover, the velvet moon
Shares your pillow and watches while you sleep
Its light arrives on tiptoe
Gently taking you in its embrace
Oh, how I dream
I might be like the velvet moon to you
I might be like the velvet moon to you
I might be like the velvet moon to you

* * *

last song i heard playing on my zen last night. a welcome case of LSS hahaha. anyway, i woke up happy today. first time that's happened in several weeks. hmmm. i'm trying to make the most out of these happy moments. love 'em while they last, right? :p

i am thinking of writing a post about kids (i've been swamped with toddlers these past days!) but i haven't gotten around to doing that yet 'coz i'm kinda busy with papers to check. oh well. it'll come. pretty soon.. :)

something borrowed

Fare thee well, my own true love
Farewell for awhile...
I'm going away
But I'll be back
For I go ten thousand miles

Ten thousand miles, my own true love
Ten thousand miles or more
Though rocks may melt
And the seas may burn
If I should not return...

Oh don't you see that lonesome girl
Sitting on an Ivy tree
She's weeping for
Her own true love
As I shall weep for mine.

* * *

got this from friend jamie ruth's blog. i liked the way she writes. i would've browsed through a lot more of her writing (and borrowed more too haha) if only i had more time right now :p

10,000 miles. certainly feels that way to me. i'm just here.. and so is he.. but the distance is astronomical. *sigh*

what kind of angel..?

saw this picture while surfing the net.. and i just *had* to post it. cool, huh?

didn't go to choir prax last night. had tons of stuff to do for school. actually, i'm on my way to upis right now. we have this seminar/workshop thingy.. and i think it's gonna be whole day. *sigh* great. might not even be able to attend tonight's prayer meeting.

it's not so bad, though. really. somehow, i just am not in the right frame of mind lately. maybe that's why this picture appeals to me in quite a different way..

all straight things must bend

BEGIN

by Ben Lee

I'm walking down broadway
Each foot step is a new love letter
I'm trying to make eye contact
With each and every stranger that I pass
Thinking about the city
It's living proof people need to be together
I'm thinking about how I just want to open up
And give and give and give
And it's ok for you to care
Cause I can feel you in the air
And while you wonder "how's this gonna end?"
I only want it to begin

I'm thinking about desire
I've had to learn how to sin successfully
I'm thinking about bliss
And bliss is all dressed up
And there's no one to dance with
Remembering her smile and the nuclear bomb
And the reasons I loved her
Walking through Central Park
I'm in a foriegn country and I'm waiting for a sign
That it's ok for you to care
Cause I'm not going anywhere
And while you wonder if you should let me in
I only want it to begin

I'm still singing
Twisting humilities, breaking arrangements
Thinking about my heart
I guess you've heard, sometimes it's heavy
But I just keep moving
When I hit a wall, I look up at the sky
I'm thinking about my makeup
In spite of all this I know she won't give up on me
And its ok for you to care
Cause I can taste you everywhere
While it's true
All straight things must bend
I only want it to begin

I only want it to begin
I only want it to begin
I only want it to begin

* * *

i have soulmate to thank for this songpost. it came just in time.

i'm keeping quiet. i guess you can say i'm in hiding right now.

but it's good to know that in spite of that fact.. she knows.

thanx for the song.

i'm an Angel >:)

guess this is somewhat related to my previous post, wahahahaha >:)

this has been a very dizzying day. hmm. i guess that's coz i barely had any time to rest this weekend.

during my entire stay at school, i could literally feel my mind floating. not in a good way, mind you. i had such a difficult time concentrating on the stuff i was supposed to do. *sigh* good thing i was still able to teach and review the kids for their upcoming exam on thursday.

i bet soulmate would like to grab this picture as well, bwahaha.

O or V

the LSS of the class of st. philip was just concluded today. *sigh* i think, among the LSSes i've served in, i was most tired this time. probably because we were busy with the sale of our christmas CDs. or maybe because i only recently recovered from my coughing fits. then again, it's probably because i have lots of stuff to attend to (periodic exams na!!! waaaah!!). or perhaps it's just my mood. i dunno. but i am extremely DRAINED!!!

anyway, i have a poem in my mind that's been waiting to come out since last week. unfortunately, i don't have the energy to let it out. hmmm. i'll just edit this post when i do find the time and energy to write them lines down :p for now, i'll let the picture speak for itself..

* * *

disguise

everyone says i wear a halo
ha! little do they know
behind these innocent-looking eyes
there is a devil in disguise

no long horns nor flashing tail to see
you won't associate darkness with me
but then again, behind each smile
often there's something intended to beguile

they say i'm an angel - sweet.. polite..
funny.. charming.. and they'd be right
except that they're not aware
of all the things in me of which they should beware

reader of minds.. caller of rain..
invisible watcher.. lover of pain..
keeper of secrets and things untold..
with a meek exterior that hides what is bold

so watch out for me lest i catch you off guard
and let my words and actions sting you hard
no, i'm not pure evil.. but i'm the worst of my kind:
an angel with a halo.. and a tail from behind

it's christmas!!!

OUR CHRISTMAS ALBUM IS FINALLY OUT!!! :)

hahaha.. we're all quite proud of it. not that we're biased (ok, fine.. maybe we are.. but only *a little bit* hehe); but it's a really great album. we're happy with it - from the songs to the cover art to our pictures to the 'dedication' inside.. hehe. and i hope our friends will be happy when they get their own copies, too :p

the labor of love (not to mention sweat and pockets, hehehe) sure paid off! *sigh* christmas in october.. this is great :p

lemiz' heroine

A Little Fall of Rain

Eponine
Don't you fret, M'sieur Marius
I don't feel any pain
A little fall of rain can hardly hurt me now
You're here, that's all I need to know
And you will keep me safe
And you will keep me close
And rain will make the flowers grow

Marius
But you will live, 'Ponine - dear God above,
If I could heal your wounds with words of love

Eponine
Just hold me now, and let it be
Shelter me, comfort me

Marius
You would live a hundred years
If I could show you how
I won't desert you now...

Eponine
The rain can't hurt me now
This rain will wash away what's past
And you will keep me safe
And you will keep me close
I'll sleep in your embrace at last

The rain that brings you here is Heaven-blessed!
The skies begin to clear and I'm at rest
A breath away from where you are
I've come home from so far

Eponine & Marius
So don't you fret, M'sieur Marius
(Hush-a-bye, dear Eponine)
I don't feel any pain
(You won't feel any pain)
A little fall of rain can hardly hurt me now
(A little fall of rain can hardly hurt you now)
I'm here..
That's all I need to know
And you will keep me safe
(I'll stay with you 'til you are sleeping..)
And you will keep me close
And rain
(And rain)
Will make the flowers..
(Will make the flowers.. grow)

She dies. Marius kisses her, then lays her on the ground

* * *

les miserables. i love the book. i love the musical even more. lots of memories are connected to lemiz (practically the only fond memories i have of highschool involved our performing "one day more" and "on my own" for our broadway presentation in third year). it's my all-time favorite book/musical.. and i can know most of the songs from lemiz by heart.

most people i know love the cosette-marius love angle. hmmm. not me. i don't even like cosette. nor marius, for that matter. the one character i really admire in lemiz is eponine. yup. the girl who was so hopelessly in love with marius (goodness knows what the heck she saw in him!!). the girl whose love for her guy literally killed her. the girl whose death made a man out of a coward. eponine.. the tragic heroine.

and while most would probably say their favorite song from lemiz is "on my own".. i'd have to say that *this* is mine. "a little fall of rain" is just so sad.. yet so beautiful. it's so touching that even though i don't like marius.. i learned to appreciate him afterwards, haha.

the song just speaks volumes.

do you believe in destiny?

Written in the Stars
Leanne Rimes

I am here to tell you we can never meet again
Simple really, isn't it? A word or two and then
A lifetime of not knowing where or how or why or when
You think of me or speak of me or wonder what befell
The someone you once loved so long ago, so well

Never wonder what I'll feel as living shuffles by
You don't have to ask me and I need not reply
Every moment of my life from now until I die
I will think or dream of you and fail to understand
How a perfect love can be confounded out of hand

Is it written in the stars?
Are we paying for some crime?
Is that all that we are good for
Just a stretch of mortal time?
Is this god's experiment
In which we have no say?
In which we're given paradise
But only for a day

Nothing can be altered, there is nothing to decide
No escape, no change of heart, nor any place to hide
You are all I'll ever want but this I am denied
Sometimes in my darkest thoughts I wish I'd never learned
What is to be in love and have that love returned

Is it written in the stars?
Are we paying for some crime?
Is that all that we are good for
Just a stretch of mortal time?
Is this god's experiment
In which we have no say?
In which we're given paradise
But only for a day

Is this god's experiment
In which we have no say?
In which we're given paradise
But only for a day

this song came from friend rizi - my fellow "smurfette" hahahaha.
thanx for the song post. definitely fits the blue mood.. :p

so who killed this angel?

I'd Die Without You
PM Dawn

Is it my turn to wish you were lying here.
I tend to dream you when I'm not sleeping.
Is it my turn to fictionalize my world.
Or even imagine your emotions. Tell myself anything...
Is it my turn to hold you by your hands.
Tell you I love you and you not hear me...
Is it my turn to totally understand.
To watch you walk out of my life and not do a damn thing...


If I have to give away
The feeling that I feel
If I have to sacrifice
Oh, whatever babe, whatever baby.
If I have to take apart
All that I am
Is there anything that I would not do
since I'd die without you
Yeah baby
since I'd die without you
since I'd die without you

Oh, I apologize for all the things I've done
But now I'm underwater and I'm drowning
Is it my turn to be the one to cry
Isn't it amazing how some things completely turn around
So take every little piece of my heart
Yeah, take every little piece of my soul
Yeah, take every little piece of my mind
'Cause if you're gone... inside
I'd die without you

give me visine

i'm back to being "blue girl" today.. though not really because i'm sad. i'm just not in the mood for *anything* :( hmmm. guess my cough still has a lot to do with the "blah" mood *sigh*

anyway, i got quite a shock when i looked at myself in the mirror earlier today. the eyes really are the windows to the soul. 'coz when i saw my reflection, i saw really tired, puffy-looking eyes. nope, i didn't cry (haven't done that in a loooong time).. but my eyes were *really* tired-looking :( no twinkle.. no spark. not even a small gleam. sheesh.

i decided to stay home and not go to choir practice today. oh heck, i know i'm going to miss being there. but i figure it would do me a lot more good to just stay home and rest. i haven't had time to really relax these past days. so i'm taking this time to just.. be :p

besides, i don't want to go out looking this way. darnit. no amount of makeup is gonna cover up my tired-looking eyes. might as well sleep this one off..

math time

1. In order to encourage his son to work hard in solving problems, a father agreed to pay him P8 for every correctly solved but will fine him P5 for every incorrect solution. At the end of 26 problems, neither owed anything to the other. How many problems did the boy do correctly?

2. On his birthday, Francis was 14 years old and his father was 41. Francis noticed that his age was the reverse of his father’s age. How many years will pass before their ages are again reversals of one another?

3. An ant is at the bottom of an iron pole which is 5 meters high. Each day, the ant climbs up 1 meter and each night it slides back ½ m. How long will it take the ant to climb to the top of the pole?

4. In numbering the pages of a book 408 digits were used. How many pages has the book?'

5. What is the smallest positive number that will give remainders of 7 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 when divided by 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3 respectively?

6. From a group of boys and girls, 15 girls leave, and two boys remain for each girl who stays. From this group, 45 boys leave and 5 girls remain for each boy who stays. How many girls were in the original group?

* * *

don't you just loooooove math? hahahaha. thanx, arianne, for giving me these problems :)

the secret of a happy heart

today is a happy day. after the mass, i was able to go malling with soulmate heidi (who, apparently, may be a distant relative of mine. wahahaha! freaky having a 'soulmate' for a distant cousin of sorts. sheesh!) and edwin. we went around the exhibit at megatrade hall 1 and i was able to buy some bags and other stuff. friend france bought me a really nice bag as a belated bday present (which actually came from her and mama nona :p).

dad had a belated bday celebration today, too. we had lunch at cabalen megamall. smh and edwin came along, too :) we sat together with cousin almi and partook of the buffet food. when we got really stuffed with all the eats, the four of us walked around (mostly just window shopping) to "exercise" and try to wake ourselves up, hehe.

hmm. i don't know what the secret is.. but i do know that my heart is smiling today :)
i'm just cherishing the feeling while it lasts :p nuninuninuninu.. wahahaha..

blue stars

"where do you go when you're lonely? where do you go when you're blue? where do you go when you're lonely, i'll follow you.. when the stars go blue"

haha.. major LSS! this song's been playing on my zen for the past few hours already. and i'm not feeling blue. not at all. thanx wye. i'll follow you to wherever.. even when stars are pink :p

cluck cluck

i'm home sick today :( i wasn't able to observe the morning class at elem.. and i don't think i'd be able to observe my student teacher's class later after lunch either. great. and to think that i had a lot of stuff i was supposed to do today :(

it's my dad's bday right now. it's just such a bummer that (1) i'm not able to help him out much here at home; (2) he has to take care of me; (3) we might not be able to have that joint bday dinner celebration tonight :( aww shucks

they say chicken soup does wonders, not just for the soul, but for colds and cough. well. i need my chicken soup remedy asap. coz it's really ironic how, just when i'm raring to work and accomplish something, this happens. *sigh*

treasure hunt

i had a really great time when my dad prepared a treasure hunt for me on my birthday.. so i'm returning the favor :p haha, actually this is a regular thing for us.. especially when birthdays come. well, it's my dad's special day tomorrow so i prepared a little surprise for him.

i hope he gets THIS clue. it's *really* easy, hahahaha :p

it's not me.. and it's not you

Your Mistake
Sister Hazel

I’m not right, I’m not fine
I wanna be rain that tastes like wine
I wanna be good, I wanna be great
I wanna be everything
Except for your mistake

Send me inside your mind
I wanna know what you’re thinking
This time I’ll try
To be the one you always thought you knew
It’s true, I’m blue
And without you

I’m not right, I’m not fine
I wanna be rain that tastes like wine
I wanna be good, I wanna be great
I wanna be everything
Except for your mistake

Let me into your view
I wanna know how you see this thing
That’s us
I must keep managing my madness over you
It’s true, I’m blue
And without you

I’m not right, I’m not fine
I wanna be rain that tastes like wine
I wanna be good, I wanna be great
I wanna be everything
Except for your mistake

And I don’t want your sympathy
Just understanding
Would we be better off if I just took some time
To try to understand you?

I’m not right, I’m not fine
I wanna be rain that tastes like wine
I wanna be good, I wanna be great
I wanna be everything
Except for your mistake

I’m not right, I’m not fine
I wanna be rain that tastes like wine
I wanna be seen, I wanna get clean
I wanna just fall out of in between
I’m not right, and I’m not right
I don’t want to be your mistake

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i 6+ill +r{6+ i> +-# m%++%. >% r#gr#+6.

chasing rainbows II

rainbows. full of color. pretty. cheerful. sweet. nice. stuff little girls love.

well. i have another take on rainbows. they're untouchable. they're way up there in the clouds. always out of your grasp. they are said to have a "pot of gold" - but so far, only fictitious leprechauns ever gained anything from them. rainbows brighten up a gloomy day; but only for a moment. they paint the sky with bright colors.. then suddenly fade back into oblivion. rainbows are both real and unreal. totally out of reach. kinda like happiness.

so what's the point of gazing up at that rainbow? why bother reaching for something that you obviously couldn't have? why believe in something that's not going to last forever? what's the point of basking in the colorful display when you know your skies will be bleaker once it's gone?

i don't know. there's no logic in it. but it doesn't matter. after the deluge, i defiantly look up at the sky and search for my rainbow. i'm determined to find it.. and claim my pot of gold (woe to the leprechaun that gets in my way, haha) what i'll do with it once i have it, i'm not sure. all i know is that i'm chasing my rainbow. and i sure as hell am going to enjoy doing it.

hmm..?

i think i still have a "milenyo" hangover. it sure felt weird going back to school today. it certainly doesn't feel like a monday. i thought classes would still be suspended (since most of UP still doesn't have any power). (un)fortunately, upis has its electricity back on.. so classes resumed today *sniff* *sniff*

anyway, when i got to my desk at school, i found this note.. along with two uhmm.. "wild flowers" bwahahahaha :p that really made me smile. heck, i know i wished for flowers for my birthday.. but all i seemed to get were "semi" flowers - a flowery mms from sanny and weeds from my "secret admirer" bwahaha :p oh well. it's the thought that counts, i guess. and the gestures are very much appreciated. so thanx, you guys.. :p

i just got home from school right now. i have this huge headache (probably from my colds) and my throat's kinda scratchy. i was supposed to rest as soon as i got home.. but i just couldn't resist tapping some lines on the keyboard, hahaha. oh.. and i backed up my phonebook, too. looks like i'll have to have my celphone reformatted again. darnit. the n71 software really sucks. i wish they'd come out with an upgrade soon. i can't keep going back to brightpoint to have my phone fixed every month.

hmm. it's now october.. and like i mentioned in my previous post, my happiness seems to have waned with the passing of september. hmm. maybe the storm winds blew it away, haha. anyway, i took this pic last saturday (30 sept) in heidi's car. it was a sort of pink day for me.. although even then, i wasn't feeling so sunny anymore. guess you can see it in the eyes. nevertheless, i'm glad i took a picture. maybe the next ones won't look as happy anymore.

but that's a big *maybe*.. 'coz i'm trying out something right now. i have a feeling it's going to work.. but i don't wanna jinx it, so i'm keeping quiet, hehehe. all i can say is.."secret admirer" played a really big part in this thing i'm trying out today. so thanx, friend.. whoever you are. and if you're reading this.. i owe you :p

chasing rainbows

A Million Miles Away
Joey Albert

I'd love to make you mine
'Cause it's the only way to hold you
In my wild imagination
Still don't know how
To grab a chance and spend some time
In just a simple conversation

Just give it a try
Though I'm like chasing rainbows in the sky
I wanna hold you in my dreams
And make believe that it's true
Although I know, I know that it's impossible to do
'Cause you're a star
People love you as you are
You're a million miles away from me

Wish that you were here
'Cause it's illusions every time you're close to me
And sing my love songs
And it's the only way
I could tell the whole world I love you
Although you're a million miles away

Just give it a try
Though I'm like chasing rainbows in the sky
I wanna hold you in my dreams
And make believe that it's true
Although I know, I know that it's impossible to do
'Cause you're a star
You're a star
You're a star
Million miles away from me...

* * *

somehow i knew this would happen. somehow i knew it would end with september. hmm. it's just as well. it felt weird anyway. i wasn't used to it. though really.. i thought i could get used to it. i thought i'd actually enjoy being that way. but apparently, things don't always work out the way we think they would.

so i'm back to square one..? hmm. maybe not. i don't know. but if my recent rainwish is any indication.. things just might be looking up..