faceless

there are many things in life that we try to avoid. some people are afraid of poverty. others would do anything to remain in power. still, there are those who'd go to great lengths to just to stay young and beautiful. as for me.. well, one of my greatest fears is to be inconsequential. like millions of people in this planet (especially the elderly, i suppose), it isn't so much the possibility of people thinking i'm not useful that scares me. rather, it's the possibility that no one will ever think of me at all that really gets to me at times.

every person has worth. but not everyone's value is recognized by others. sometimes, we ourselves do not see how priceless we are to God. we base our worth on what others think of us.. on how the people around us act towards us. and when we see that we're not appreciated as much.. or when others fail to give time and attention to us.. we fret.

one of the most memorable lines i've ever read came from "The Diary of Anne Frank", and it goes:

"Even in the midst of many people, you can still be lonely.. if you are not first to anyone.."

and i guess this really stuck to me because that's precisely how i feel at times: nothing will set me apart from a sea of nameless, faceless people. just another face in the crowd. unrecognizable. easily replaced. not to be missed at all.

right now, though, i'm trying to work on combating these negative thoughts. after all, i have been blessed with so many gifts by the Lord: a loving family, caring friends, a Christian community, etc. and He does not only know my face; He has also called me by name (Jn 10:3) and even knows the number of hairs on my head! (Mt 10:30) the least i could do is to be grateful to Him for all these.. and to recognize that no matter what others say, or how others may see me.. He would always see me as someone special. i am His treasured possession! (Mal 3:17)

oh, i'd be a hypocrite if i said that i never feel lonely.. that i never think of myself as inconsequential. sometimes i still do. old habits do die hard, you know. but now, at least.. i fight these thoughts.. and try to replace them with good ones.

"Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable-if anything is excellent or praiseworthy-think about such things." Phil 4:8 NIV

thanks to His Word.. to His promises.. to His great love.. life is not just good. life is VERY good.. Ü