Monday, September 12, 2005

a thousand questions

Questionmark2a big question mark. that's what on my mind right now. no, wait. not a big question mark.. but rather, thousands of little question marks. thousands of unanswered questions. thousands of little, nagging doubts and fears. all of them unknowable at this point. all of them scary. like tiny little fire ants slowly eating me up from the inside out.

but i won't even try to find the answers today. what's the point? i've tried that countless times before yet nothing happened. the thousand questions may one day be the end of me.. but they'll have to drag me kicking and screaming before i let them kill me now.

it may be a futile effort.. and yes, i do feel sort of hopeless. but there still is some dignity to never giving up the fight - whether it be for love, for sanity or for dear life. and while hope is yet elusive, i will continue to hold on to the last shreds of dignity i have...

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