rainbow-colored

it's raining now but i'm not crying. i'm wearing black but i'm not sad. i haven't seen or talked to him today but i'm not lonely. i wasn't able to answer my crossword for the day, but i'm not frustrated. my wish has not come true yet, but i'm not impatient. i have tons unchecked papers waiting for my correction, but i'm not harried. i have bills to pay and i'm a bit short of cash, but i'm not worried. outside my window, everything's grey. but right now, i'm feeling pink.. and green.. and orange.. and yellow.. and a host of other rainbow colors Ü

i seldom feel this way (my friends can definitely attest to that hehe).. especially when things don't go according to my plans. yet today i feel fine. i feel quite happy. i feel at peace Ü why? it's not because of anything i did - i haven't done anything different lately. it certainly isn't because things have been going my way. hmm. maybe my prayers are now being answered. maybe i'm learning to be grateful for every little blessing. maybe i'm learning to find joy regardless of circumstances. maybe, after experiencing brokenness, i'm on the road to healing and wholeness. maybe i'm beginning to see the rainbow that comes after the rain.

i don't know how God plans to use me.. or how He even plans to make me into the kind of person i'm supposed to be. but for now, i won't worry about it. i'll just rest assured in His promise that He will be faithful to complete the work He began in me Ü

"'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord. 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you a hope and a future..'" Jer 29:11