i am a lot of things. teacher. friend. daughter. singer. crossword-puzzle solver. math enthusiast. rain and music lover. csi junkie. jesus freak. writer.
by writer, i do not mean to imply that i write well. my sentences are cluttered and i tend to babble a lot. however, i love to write. and i write about anything that enters my mind. i write them down in my blog(s). my writings, though, are not restricted to the electronic medium. i write a lot of my most intimate thoughts the old-fashioned way. on paper.
i was sorting through the stuff in my bag and came across the pieces of paper where i jotted down my thoughts for the past 3-4 months. they were letters. some were notes to God (i guess you could say they were written prayers). some were notes to _ _ _ (written during my darkest moments). others were notes to myself (when i wanted to sort my thoughts).
when i read what i wrote only a couple of months ago, i could not help but get the chills. it's creepy how, even then, i already seemed to know what would happen to me. most of the things i wrote down on those pieces of paper came true. of course, at the time, i didn't know they would happen. but they did. and as i read through my writings, i wondered whether the things i jot down now would come true.
honestly, though i know i was the one who wrote those old letters, when i read them, it felt as though i were hearing the thoughts of a totally different person. the feelings.. the fears.. the doubts.. and everything else.. i can still identify with. somewhat. because i don't feel them anymore. it's like reading someone else's diary. it's as if all those things happened to another person.
obsolete thoughts? maybe. maybe not. i don't know if i will ever feel or think the way i did then. but i'm glad i wrote everything down. 'coz in a way, i have immortalized the person i used to be. she may no longer be me.. but i will never forget her.
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