my organizer

ok, i admit. i do sometimes obsess about order. i like my days scheduled.. with as little change of plans as possible. surprises usually make me anxious. i plan my entire day (or week) ahead of time - trying to imagine what and how i'd be doing things. hehe. like i said. i tend to get carried away in making things "just the way i want them to be"..

but lately, i've noticed that life's been sending me more of those things that do not belong to my comfort zone. i get a barrage of unsettling thoughts - "what if" scenarios, as well as "what could have been"s flood my mind. not to mention nagging regrets, doubts and fears of what the future may bring. i also find myself in the middle of circumstances i have no power to change.. and i am forced to tell myself that i have absolutely no control over most of the things i have to deal with. so many things going on at once. i get confused.. and irritated. and i am paralyzed with fear.

it's during times like these.. when i can almost feel myself cracking and breaking apart from the inside.. that i turn to my "organizer." no, it's not the daily planner i carry around in my bag at all times. i'm referring, instead, to my dad. he's my "organizer" because he's the one whom i can always rely on to help me sort through the clutter in my mind.. to remember the important things and to focus on what i should be learning from all the chaos around me.

since i was a kid, my dad has always been the one person i'm sure i could turn to - for comfort, sound advice, guidance, understanding, etc. he'd always know not just the right words to say.. but how to say them as well. and he always makes me feel special.. and loved unconditionally.

so naturally, when everything around and inside me just seemed to be such a big, ugly mess, i went to my "organizer". there were so many disturbing thoughts in my head, i could no longer distinguish what actually was bothering me. so i talked with my dad. what's great about talking to him is that he already seems to know what's wrong even before i say anything. and he doesn't judge.. he still is able to make me feel loved, no matter what the circumstances.

if there's one thing i truly thank the Lord for, it's my dad. by his example.. and by the way he sees and treats me.. i am able to know God more. i'm just really happy that my Heavenly Father answers my prayers.. comforts me, talks to me, gives me advice.. not only through timely devotionals and Bible verses.. but through my earthly father as well Ü

[Postscript: it's funny how the Lord is like a sticky note and my dad is like an organizer. great.. i really am into stationery stuff, hehehe Ü]