a poem out of nowhere

this morning a poem sort of wrote itself in my mind. i wasn't sure at first what it was about.. until i made time this evening to "listen" to my brain. anyway, this is what came out. it isn't a literary masterpiece.. but i'm ok with that.. :D


I LOVE YOU

the first time i laid my eyes on you
i saw only beauty
and my heart was filled to overflowing
right then and there
i loved you

you did not know me then
yet i watched your every move
i counted each smile, each tear
i've always been there
i loved you

i saw you spending all your time and energy
on work, on friends and on family
i wondered whether you ever thought of me
but i continued waiting
i loved you

more than a thousand times you've hurt me
with thoughtless words and unkind deeds
but mostly with your indifference
yet through it all
i loved you

the years have not all been kind to you
i've seen you get hurt and broken
more times than you could count
yet even in your suffering
i loved you

i saw through your protective masks
and recognized your wounded spirit
i wanted to take away your pain
to free you from your burdens
i loved you

nothing i desire ever compared with you
though you did not yet love me
i chose to give up everything for you:
my body, my blood and yes, my very life
i loved you

at last, you took notice of my sacrifice!
and my love for you drew you near
but do not hide your face from me
i still think you are beautiful
i love you

my love, i have absolutely no regrets
a million and one lifetimes
i'd gladly offer up
yes, each and every one - for you
i love you

the first time i laid my eyes on you
i saw only beauty
now, as i hang dying here on the cross
taking away your sin
taking away your shame
healing your brokenness
healing all your pain
i gaze at you
and i still see only beauty

i love you

brats!!!

i should have known. after a great weekend, i should have expected a not-so-great day at school.

i was greeted early in the day with a bunch of students who couldn't sit still even for a lousy minute. in spite of repeated warnings. in spite of dagger looks from me. and in spite of the fact that i've been extremely patient with them for the entire sem. ha!!

ok, so math isn't exactly the most exciting subject for most people. nevertheless, the lesson is hard enough as it is... they could at least exert a bit more effort into studying. sheesh. what do they want me to do?! declare an early christmas break from all math learning? hahaha. if they keep up their unruliness, i just might. but i'm definitely going to make sure they do not enjoy their "break" the least bit hahahahahahahahahahahaha

a few words of caution to all concerned: i don't get mad. i get even. hehehe.. things are looking up.. >:)

a great satursunday

i left the house saturday morning.. and came home sunday night. aaahhhh.. it's been a really great weekend!!! :D extremely hectic.. but wonderfully so, hehe.

i mentioned before that i'm not really *into* the christmas season. but i also said that i'm going to look for my lost christmas spirit. guess i'm going to find it, after all :D nothing like christmas music, singing and spending time with great friends to bring back the "magic" and blessedness of the season.. :p

be forewarned. the following is a long and rambling account of my weekend. read at your own risk.. hehehe :p

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my saturday began the usual way: checking emails, updating my blogs, etc. but by 11.15am, it was off to choir practice (12-3pm)! hmm. i didn't even have time to eat a decent lunch - only had time for a few quick bites before leaving the house. i enjoyed the ride with bfh ('bestfriend heidi') - hadn't done that in a long time - and we got to the practice with lots of time to spare :p

cdr ('choir director rannie') let us off by 2.15pm, as he was still extremely tired from lack of sleep. great timing.. 'coz at least we got the chance to eat a proper lunch. from rivers center, i, bfh and bfl ('bestfriend lian') (along with glenda, tita may, the cruzes, and mel) walked to chowking to finally eat our fill :p

by 3.30pm, we were back at st. paul to sing some joyful songs and prepare cdr's piano pieces for the caroling at sis luz mojica's place. bfh, bfl and i left st. paul at around 4.30pm to pick up nancy at her place, and cousin almi at shopwise libis. by 5.30pm we were all on our way to sis luz' place. and boy, was that an adventure!! haha.. it was fun, trying to read the streetnames at vista verde at night. hehehe. my deep-hidden navigation skills were put to the test then.. hahaha.

the caroling went well, in spite of the heat inside the house. there was food (lots of it!).. laughter.. singing.. and of course, FRIENDS! :p yup, it's really christmas! hehe. we left sis luz' place at around 9.30pm. full of food (and christmas spirit), we all went our separate ways (after another 'adventurous' convoy going out of the subdivision, hehe)

bfh, bfl and i went to starbucks blue wave afterwards. drank coffee to 'aid digestion'. haha. yeah, right. bfh was just looking for an excuse to enjoy a grande capuccino :p it was funny how we've spent the entire day together, yet still were able to find stuff to talk about. haha. guess that's how girls really are :p

i slept over at bfh's place last night (too bad bfl couldn't come, though. maybe next time) it was fun. not just 'coz of the company (met her youngest bro, joel too).. but also because it's nice to have a change of atmosphere from time to time. it was my first time to sleep over at her house. and though i had a really loooong and tiring day.. and though we slept at around 1am and had to wake up at 7am for the sunday mass, i woke up feeling refreshed :)

the rest of sunday went well, too. after the TV mass, i spent time with my cute cousins.. going around the mall (and having enough money to buy some neat stuff, hehe).. alternately gorging ourselves with chicken & fries and walking around 'til our feet almost killed us. hahahaha. what a life!!! <--- i meant that in a *really* good way

now i'm back home. i missed being in the house. i missed my room. i missed my PC. (sheesh, you'd think i was gone for a month! hahaha) and now that i've checked my mail and updated my blog, i'm ready to turn in :p *sigh* life is good. REALLY good. i hope the rest of the week will be, too :)

sandman and morpheus

*yawn* i just woke up from a night of weird dreams and hourly interrupted sleep. hmm. strange, though. i don't really feel tired or disoriented. in fact, i was able to rest quite well, in spite of the eerily disjointed dreams.

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"The Sand-man was a story from 1817 written by E. T. Hoffmann. He also wrote the Nutcracker. The narrator's mother explains that as a child she explained she would say the Sand-man is come to her children and it meant: "...you are sleepy and can't keep your eyes open, as if somebody had put sand in them." An old woman in the story paints a more ferocious picture: "Oh! he's a wicked man, who comes to little children when they won't go to bed and throws handfuls of sand in their eyes, so that they jump out of their heads all bloody; and he puts them into a bag and takes them to the half-moon as food for his little ones; and they sit there in the nest and have hooked beaks like owls, and they pick naughty little boys' and girls' eyes out with them." The childhood image of the Sand-man is mingled in the narrator's mind with reality and the figure of a character named Coppelius in the psychological tale.

Since then the Sandman has become a childhood superstition passed down through the generations. He carries a bag of sand which he uses to sprinkle in the eyes, mostly of children, and put someone to sleep. The grit or sand one wakes with in the morning in the corner of their eye is explained to come from the sand he brings. There is an expression that to tell someone the Sandman's coming means they're getting sleepy or will be sleepy soon."
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Morpheus was the god of dreams in Greek mythology. According to some ancient sources - such as the Roman poet Ovid - he was the son of Hypnos, the god of Sleep. Morpheus briefly appears in Ovid's Metamorphoses:

"King Sleep was father of a thousand sons - indeed a tribe - and of them all, the one he chose was Morpheus, who had such skill in miming any human form at will. No other Dream can match his artistry in counterfeiting men: their voice, their gait, their face - their moods; and, too, he imitates
their dress precisely and the words they use most frequently. But he mimes only men..."

Ovid therefore suggests that Morpheus only sends images of humans in dreams or visions, while his brothers Phobetor and Phantasos are in charge of depicting dream images of animals and inanimate objects. Together these three sons of Sleep - Morpheus, Phobetor, and Phantasos - rule the realm of dreams.
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the sandman and morpheus have been doing their jobs pretty well lately. for the past nights, i'd fall asleep almost as soon as my head hits the pillow (that does not mean, though, that i sleep early). they must also sprinkle an additional helping of stardust and sand over me. i've been having so many dreams, too! and they come in so many different "flavors" - funny, sad, eerie/creepy, happy, believable, out of this world, etc.

are they wicked? or are they anticipated guests? hmm. i don't know. perhaps the sandman and morpheus are just like my dreams. sometimes dreaded.. sometimes welcomed with open arms. and i never can tell which is which until i fall helplessly into a deep, deep sleep.

-23 and counting

only 23 more days 'til christmas. can't say i'm excited. i have not wrapped any presents.. have not bought anything for my friends/family - not even a greeting card. heck, i haven't even started writing my christmas list! hahahaha. procrastination to the max! or maybe i'm really just not in the mood. *sigh*

what happens between childhood and adulthood that causes christmases and birthdays to lose their magic, anyway? when i was small (ok, i'll reword that. "when i was smallER..") i really looked forward to the yuletide season. as early as october i'd start counting the days 'til christmas. i'd eagerly help in wrapping gifts.. and i'd be so, so excited that i'd find it hard to sleep properly during the last 3 days before christmas.

now, i still get sleepless nights (a lot more so!).. but it definitely isn't about getting all excited for christmas. huh. i wonder what happened. where is the spirit? where is the joy and love that the season is supposed to bring? where is the childhood innocence that looks expectantly and hopes for the best during christmas?

hmm. i hope i find my lost christmas spirit. the child inside me misses it so much..

the girl i was with you

this is my current fave. "the man i was with you" by jimmy bondoc. simple tune.. nice words. so i'm adapting the song and posting it here..



listen just hear me out
yes i know we agreed
when we break up we'd never give in to this need
to admit to each other
"i miss you"

listen just hear my cry
no i won't break my word
if i do say i miss you it would never be heard
let my heart whisper
all that it needs to

*how could you make me take a start?
then just leave me here hanging
can't even say how i'm feeling
how could you make then break my heart?
if i can't say that i miss you
let me say one last thing

#i miss her
and all the things she could do
yes/oh, i miss her
just as much as i miss you
oh, i miss her
i know you're wondering who
yes, i miss her
i miss the girl i was with you
oh i would never be the same

listen just hear my voice
can you hear all the tears?
that i'm planning to hide
for the next thousand years
just as long as you know that
i love you

repeat *,#
except last line

how can a blind girl find the light?
how can i find the kind of right?
how could you take away my sight?
how could you lose me in the night?
then you took away the heart in me
now i'm losing this fight
no i would never ever be the same

ooh.. ohh

oh, i miss her
and all the things she could do
yes, i miss her
just as much as i miss you
oh i miss her
i know by now you know who
yes, i miss her
i know by now you know who
i miss her
i miss the girl i was with you

oh, i would never be the same

wake me up when december ends

hey, it's december 1st! hmm. only 24 days until christmas. that's 576 hours, or 34,560 minutes or 2,073,600 seconds. haha. this day is sort of different. it all started when i woke up this morning. i had this not-so-good dream last night that seemed so real. so when i opened my eyes to the sound of my alarm clock, i felt disoriented. i wasn't even sure what day it was, and what i was supposed to be doing haha. i rose from my bed zombie-ishly and marched my way out of the room still dazed, hehe.

when i got to school, i gave my fourth year students the exam i prepared. i found out that i mistakenly typed "quiz #3" instead of "long exam #1" on the questionnaires. haha. maybe that's why the poor kids' brains were so fried afterwards.. >:D

around 12.30pm, i had this sudden urge to leave the school premises for a while. i don't know why. i just wanted to drive around the campus. at the same time, i had this odd, almost certain feeling that i would bump into my ex somewhere (though i didn't know his sked, and i surely wasn't hunting for him). so i decided to go to that "tiangge" in front of the infirmary, just to check out whatever stuff they had there. and just as i was driving in front of EEE, lo and behold.. i saw my ex crossing the street! he saw me too. even stuck his tongue out at me, the creep :p (*ney: haha.. i was too surprised to do the same - next time gagantihan kita, hehehe) no.. my heart did not do any flip-flops, and there were no heart-wrenching emotions either. i looked at him, he looked at me.. and it just seemed so.. trivial. hmm. i'm glad. go figure.

so i checked out the items at the tiangge, hoping to find some good buys for christmas. hmm. no luck. most of the stuff i saw were too ordinary.. and none of them really piqued my interest. then i went to this one stall (checked out some blouses on sale).. and asked the girl in charge if they had other sizes. she looked at me for a long time before answering.. like she knew me from somewhere. freaky. too bad they didn't have my size :(

just as i was leaving the stall, i heard a dozen or so voices call out, "maaaaaaaam!!!" great. an entire busload of my senior students were headed to the infirmary for their physical exam.. and i had the (mis)fortune of being at the tiangge at that exact time. haha. practically every "tindera" and "usisero" there knew i was a teacher using her lunchbreak to check out cheap goods at the tiangge :p

by 1.30pm, i decided to go back to school. i walked back to the car.. only to find a young boy peering into the tinted windows. as i approached the car, i noticed he didn't react to my presence. he just stood there, trying really hard to look inside the vehicle. hmm. weird and freaky. as it turns out, the poor kid was a nut case. he was mumbling and babbling to himself.. pointing to invisible people / objects that he claimed were out to get him. great. i admit, i am a little loony myself.. but really, i could not relate to him. i just wanted to get away from the boy. so as soon as i got the chance, i hastily entered the car and slammed the door shut. unfortunately, i think his finger got caught in the door :( luckily he wasn't hurt badly.. but he ran away really fast afterwards. poor kid.
with all the excitement that's happened, i was glad to head back to the comfort of our faculty room. my student teacher, marga, taught my geom class (butterfly) for the first time. things went quite well, considering it's the first time she's handled the section :p

after a while, i went to the library.. made the geometry exam (naturally, there were no students around to peek at what i was writing) and emailed it to myself so i could print it as soon as i got home. 30 minutes well spent, i should say, hahaha. i guess the library is really conjucive to making tests :p i used the next half hour to check my mails, view my blog and send out choir announcements (it's december!!! the month of many, many activities!!) hmm. how time flies. by 4.15pm, i was ready to go home.

when i arrived, i ate a light supper (yup.. supper at 4.30pm - nothing wrong with that, i guess) and watched some nick toons (hahaha i still have that habit). i've printed out tomorrow's test (i'm sooooo happy with it. tsk, tsk.. poor kids)


i also checked out some sites of my favorite comic characters, calvin & hobbes (by bill watterson - he's the greatest!). now *that* was fun! i just looooove that hobbes is both real and imaginary (haha.. ain't that a "complex" concept?! ugh. bad mathematical pun :p) and calvin's dark sense of humor (shown in his snowmen art) appeals to me as well.

so goes my day. so far, at least. a long day.. and quite surreal too. i feel different. hyperactive inside. stoic on the outside. haha. weird. u wonder if the entire month of december is going to be like this for me. oh God. wake me up when the month is over.. :p

logical thinking

hmm. it's 3.30pm and i'm here at the library. i just finished encoding my geometry exam for tomorrow. i'm quite happy with it. uh oh. that usually means my students are going to have a hard time answering the test. hehehehehe oh well. what can i do?! i'm in a good mood.. >:D

i gave my fourth year students an exam this morning, too. it was on sine and cosine laws - solving triangles. how did it go? umm.. hehehehe.. no comment. let's just say i kinda had fun making that test too, and leave it at that.. ;p

anyway, tomorrow's exam will be about logic and reasoning. my favorite topic in geometry hehe. i sure hope they enjoy answering the test as much as i enjoyed making it, hahahaha :D

hmm. in case any of my grade 8 students are reading this entry: good luck and God bless to you tomorrow! hahaha. you have been duly forewarned..

poison ivy

i got this from a website with an article that caught my attention. the title of the article was
"Poison Ivy: an Exaggerated Immune Response to Nothing Much"

==============================================
Allergy is an altered or unwanted immune response. The immune system attacks something which is genuinely foreign, but which would be harmless, were it not for the immune attack. The immune system has evolved to neutralize and eliminate foreign substances from our bodies. However, it cannot tell whether the foreign substance is harmful, so it sometimes attacks harmless substances vigorously, causing an inflammation which can be far more harmful than the foreign substance alone. Hay fever (allergic rhinitis or asthma to plant pollens) is a good example.
==============================================

so from what i understand, it isn't really poison ivy's fault that its oils cause rashes in most people. after all, the sap of the poison ivy is quite harmless - except for the fact that it causes an immune attack from around 95% of humans. the plant isn't the problem - it's the response of the body that causes the irritation.

an exaggerated response to nothing much. hmm. i guess that pretty much sums up how i react to things most of the time. when i think of all the stuff that's floating around in my head, i could say that they are mostly trivial. nothing earth-shaking. nothing fancy. nothing that would turn the world upside down or inside out. and yet at times i find myself worrying too much.. or else, stubbornly refusing to look at the "problems" squarely. hence, the fitful sleep, melancholy, weight loss and countless moments spent staring out into space.

i haven't found a foolproof way of dealing with my poison ivies. until now i experience all sorts of "allergic reactions" to these problems that are, in truth, "nothing much." *sigh* i need corticosteroids.. and fast..

what's in MY name?

haha. so this is what my name's supposed to stand for.. ahehehehehe :p

lethargy

i spent almost half the day asleep. hehe. i suppose i was really tired from all the activities this weekend. i woke up around 11am this morning.. still coughing, but thankfully my throat didn't hurt as bad as it did last night.

hmm. this "national heroes day" break is a welcome one for me. gave me a chance to catch up on my rest. which doesn't mean i've been in bed all day. i've been quite productive. i managed to download some christmas songs for friend heidi. i was also able to sort through some "throwables" here in my room. i've found some nice inspirational stories for our newsletter and i'm almost half done with the layout. hmm. not bad for a couple of hours' work hehe.

too bad i couldn't devote as much energy into writing that stupid journal article required for my tenure at school. *sigh* it's not that i don't want to get it done. i do! i really, really do!! but the darned thing scares the hell out of me - and i find it really difficult to stare the issue in the face and grapple with it. darn. just thinking about it saps my energy. *sigh* i have an idea of what i have to do.. it's just not as clear to me as i would like :(

oh well. i hope by december i'd have done what i'm supposed to do. why, oh why is it that i can write so much stuff here in my blog but i can't even get a decent journal article done?!? *sigh* to all those who read my entries here.. since you guys aren't that enthusiastic about writing your comments.. hope you could at least pray that i finish that paper :p

hehehe. at any rate, you'll hear what happens to me (do i get fired? do i move to a better-paying job? do i go abroad? do i marry a multi-millionaire? hahaha) in a couple of months..

on waiting

today is the first sunday of advent. the christmas season is here! honestly, though, i'm not all that excited about christmas this year. it's practically december and i haven't even started with my gift-giving list.

maybe it isn't just me. have you noticed that there are fewer lights to be found decorating the malls and the streets? you don't hear that many christmas carols being played on the radio either. not much christmas-themed tv shows, too. times are hard. money is so much harder to come by these days, so i suppose people are not very enthusiastic about celebrating christmas the usual way.

but though i am not excited about celebrating christmas, i have to admit that i am looking forward to the christmas season. it was a realization that came to me only today, as i listened to fr. mar's homily about the importance of advent.. of waiting, preparing, and being watchful.

this has been a very significant year for me. i can say that i have undergone more changes this 2005 than in the past four years. i've experienced great personal losses. i have gone through a lot of emotional turmoil. there was fear, confusion, heartbreak and doubt. but this year, too, i've experienced more of God's presence. i've felt His comfort, His mercy, His understanding and unconditional love. i've spent more time conversing with the Lord - pouring out my heart and then learning to quietly wait for His message to me. yes, i have had a lot of troubles this year. but the Lord has used them all to open my eyes to the reality of His wisdom, power and guidance.

as christmas draws near, i realize that the Lord has a challenge for me: with all the gifts He has given to me, what gift will i give Him in return? what would i be willing to do for the One who gave up everything just to save me? will the Lord find me waiting, ready to surrender everything to Him.. eager to let Him work in my life? when He looks into my heart, will He find a place especially prepared.. ready to enthrone Him as King? hmm. as of now, i don't know. but if there is anything i found out today, the lesson of advent is one of the most important ones i need to learn. wait expectantly. be prepared. be watchful.

as bishop martirez said in the gss mass, today is the start of a new year for the church. time to reflect on the year that was. time to ponder on our relationship with God. time to prepare ourselves for His coming. a time for new hope.. and for new beginnings. it's never too early to prepare for the Lord. i only hope when His birthday comes, i would have been able to offer God that which would delight Him.

not 53 on 26

this song was brought to my attention today. hmm. today of all days. funny. my heart's a blank right now. no, wait. i actually enjoyed this day. i had a lot of happy moments. disjointed happy moments.. but happy, nonetheless. in between were minutes spent staring out into space. no matter. at least there were no tears. no heart wrenching moments. and no memories (good or bad) that ruin the mood. hmm. maybe this is how he feels now. maybe this is what it feels like to move on..

or maybe i'm quite fine because i spent the entire day serving at our growth in the spirit seminar. maybe i'm all right 'coz i've been surrounded by so many friends the whole time (choirmates from 8am-6pm; then friends of our family from 6pm-10pm). i don't know. but whatever the reason.. i'm glad i'm doing ok.

here's the song i was talking about. i like this a lot.. though it's no longer dedicated to anyone in particular..


FOR YOU I WILL

When you're feeling lost in the night
When you feel your world just ain't right
Call on me, I will be waiting
Count on me, I will be there
Anytime the times get too tough
Anytime your best ain't enough
I'll be the one to make it better
I'll be there to protect you
See you through
I'll be there and there is nothing
I won't do

I will cross the ocean for you
I will go and bring you the moon
I will be your hero, your strength
Anything you need
I will be the sun in your sky
I will light your way for all time
I Promise you
For you I will

I will shield your heart from the rain
I will let no harm come your way
Oh these arms will be your shelter
No these arms won't let you down
If there is a mountain to move
I will move that mountain for you
I'm here for you, I'm here forever
I will be your fortress, tall and strong
I'll keep you safe, I'll stand beside you , right or wrong

I will cross the ocean for you
I will go and bring you the moon
I will be your hero, your strength
Anything you need
I will be the sun in your sky
I will light your way for all time
I Promise you
For you I will

For you I will
Lay my life on the line
For you I will fight a hulk
For you I will die
With every breath, with all my soul
I'll give my world
I'll give it all
Put your faith in me
And I'll do anything

I will cross the ocean for you
I will go and bring you the moon
I will be your hero, your strength
Anything you need
I will be the sun in your sky
I will light your way for all time
I Promise you
For you I will
I promise you
For you I, I will

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on journals and obsolete thoughts

i am a lot of things. teacher. friend. daughter. singer. crossword-puzzle solver. math enthusiast. rain and music lover. csi junkie. jesus freak. writer.

by writer, i do not mean to imply that i write well. my sentences are cluttered and i tend to babble a lot. however, i love to write. and i write about anything that enters my mind. i write them down in my blog(s). my writings, though, are not restricted to the electronic medium. i write a lot of my most intimate thoughts the old-fashioned way. on paper.

i was sorting through the stuff in my bag and came across the pieces of paper where i jotted down my thoughts for the past 3-4 months. they were letters. some were notes to God (i guess you could say they were written prayers). some were notes to _ _ _ (written during my darkest moments). others were notes to myself (when i wanted to sort my thoughts).

when i read what i wrote only a couple of months ago, i could not help but get the chills. it's creepy how, even then, i already seemed to know what would happen to me. most of the things i wrote down on those pieces of paper came true. of course, at the time, i didn't know they would happen. but they did. and as i read through my writings, i wondered whether the things i jot down now would come true.

honestly, though i know i was the one who wrote those old letters, when i read them, it felt as though i were hearing the thoughts of a totally different person. the feelings.. the fears.. the doubts.. and everything else.. i can still identify with. somewhat. because i don't feel them anymore. it's like reading someone else's diary. it's as if all those things happened to another person.

obsolete thoughts? maybe. maybe not. i don't know if i will ever feel or think the way i did then. but i'm glad i wrote everything down. 'coz in a way, i have immortalized the person i used to be. she may no longer be me.. but i will never forget her.

i should be laughing..

friend sanny sent me this for a friendster message. hmm. i can relate, definitely. but i don't wanna dwell on it. not anymore. been in mourning far too long. like the song says.. I SHOULD BE LAUGHING. i wonder why i'm not..




I Should Be Laughing
patty smyth

Somewhere in a scrap book
There's a rose you gave to me
And the photograph that's torn in half
And all thats left is me
Live happily ever after
That came after I was gone
And they tell you that you can't go back
Then why can't I go on?

When I should be laughin` at this joke
Dressed up as love, diguised as hope
And isn't it funny after all this time
A tear is fallin' when i should be laughin`

Sunsets are like a painting, windows like a frame
When night comes in and I begin
To see it all again

'Coz i should be laughing at this joke
The damage done the words i spoke
And isn't it funny after all this time
Regret can find me when I should be laughin'
I should laughin' at life
And all of the tricks that it plays
I should be laughing at time
And how fast its slippin' away

Somewhere in a scrap book
There's a rose you gave to me
And with one last look
I close the book
And let the past just be

When I should be laughin' at this joke
Dressed up as love, diguised as hope
And isn't it funny after all this time
A tear is fallin' when i should be laughin'

UNsound logic

there are proofs. and there are those that
pose as proofs :p
try to figure out what's wrong with these :)


Theorem : 3=4
Proof:
Suppose:
 a    +    b    =    c
This can also be written as:
 4a - 3a + 4b - 3b = 4c - 3c
After reorganising:
 4a + 4b - 4c = 3a + 3b - 3c
Take the constants out of the brackets:
 4 * (a+b-c) = 3 * (a+b-c)
Remove the same term left and right:
 4 = 3

Theorem : All numbers are equal to zero.
Proof: Suppose that a=b. Then
a = b
a^2 = ab
a^2 - b^2 = ab - b^2
(a + b)(a - b) = b(a - b)
a + b = b
a = 0

Theorem: 1$(dollar) = 1c(cent).
Proof:
And another that gives you a sense of
money disappearing...
1$ = 100c
= (10c)^2
= (0.1$)^2
= 0.01$
= 1c

Theorem: 1 = -1 .
Proof:
1/-1  =   -1/1
sqrt[ 1/-1 ]  = sqrt[ -1/1 ]
sqrt[1]*sqrt[1] = sqrt[-1]*sqrt[-1]
ie 1 = -1

    Theorem: 4 = 5
  Proof:
  16 - 36 = 25 - 45
  4^2 - 9*4 = 5^2 - 9*5
  4^2 - 9*4 + 81/4 = 5^2 - 9*5 + 81/4
  (4 - 9/2)^2 = (5 - 9/2)^2
  4 - 9/2 = 5 - 9/2
  4 = 5

sound logic # 1: on the thermodynamics of hell

i saw this article posted at the bulletin board of one of our science rooms at school. i looked for it in the internet. hmm. now, i don't know if the thermodynamics of hell. i'm not dead yet. and when i die, i certainly hope i don't get to find out *firsthand* whether hell is exothermic or endothermic. however, the logic does seem sound. hehe. read on.. (oh, and in case any of you *do* get firsthand information.. please.. *don't* let me know about it okay? =p)

Is Hell Exothermic or Endothermic?

As you study for exams, remember its not the quantity it's the quantity. And remember there is no substitute for pure unadulterated bull

---

Dr. Schambaugh, of the University of Oklahoma School of Chemical Engineering, Final Exam question for May of 1997. Dr. Schambaugh is known for asking questions such as, "why do airplanes fly?" on his final exams. His one and only final exam question in May 1997 for his Momentum, Heat and Mass Transfer II class was: "Is hell exothermic or endothermic? Support your answer with proof."

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law or some variant. One student, however, wrote the following:

"First, We postulate that if souls exist, then they must have some mass. If they do, then a mole of souls can also have a mass. So, at what rate are souls moving into hell and at what rate are souls leaving? I think we can safely assume that once a soul gets to hell, it will not leave.

Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for souls entering hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Some of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, then you will go to hell. Since there are more than one of these religions and people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all people and souls go to hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in hell to increase exponentially.

Now, we look at the rate of change in volume in hell. Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in hell to stay the same, the ratio of the mass of souls and volume needs to stay constant. Two options exist:

1. If hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter hell, then the temperature and pressure in hell will increase until all hell breaks loose.
2. If hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until hell freezes over.

So which is it? If we accept the quote given to me by Theresa Manyan during Freshman year, "that it will be a cold night in hell before I sleep with you" and take into account the fact that I still have NOT succeeded in having sexual relations with her, then Option 2 cannot be true...Thus, hell is exothermic."

The student, Tim Graham, got the only A.

talking to myself..

You Are Cherry Pie

You're the perfect combo of innocent and sexy Those who like you enjoy a contradiction

What Kind of Pie Are You?

Your Love Quote

Love is like pi -- natural, irrational, and very important.

What Love Quote Suits You?

You are Milk Chocolate

A total dreamer, you spend most of your time with your head in the clouds. You often think of the future, and you are always working toward your ideal life. Also nostelgic, you rarely forget a meaningful moment... even those from long ago.

What Kind of Chocolate Are You?

Your Reputation Is: Mystery Girl

You're the girl that everyone is trying to figure out. Men are attracted to your intriguing persona - and women want to copy it!

What's Your Reputation?

What Your Pink Outfit Means

Unsurprisingly, you are very sweet and cute. But you're also a bit of a tease - and not that innocent. Shy but sexy, you're an alluring mix of contradictions. Designer match: BCBG Signature accessory: Tortoise shell sunglasses

What Does Your Favorite Outfit Say About You?

You Are a Carnation

You are down to earth and grounded. You tend to be more traditional than trendy. Your confidence gets you through anything. People trust you and are very loyal to you.

What Flower Are You?

You Are Sexy Black Boots

You only look like you could walk all over someone...

What Kind of Boots Are You?

Your Element is Fire

Your power color: red Your energy: hot Your season: spring Like a fire, you are full of power and light. A born leader, you easily draw people toward you. You are full of courage and usually up for anything dangerous. You have a huge ego and love to be the center of attention.

What Element Are You?

pies. never really fond of them (though i have a fondness for "pi" hehe).. but i thought i'd take that test. along with the chocolate one.. and others. hmm. due to boredom, as usual. *sigh*

weather's really warm. shucks. and i thought the temp would consistently stay low since december's only a couple of days away. oh well..

hasn't rained in a while. not during daytime, at least. hmm. wish it would. i miss it.

tomorrow, i'm supposed to give an exam to math10 students. hehe. haven't made one yet. am toying with the idea of postponing their test to next week. poor kids. been overly busy with their pasixlab and other activities. no more time for math. boo hoo. :p hmm. not sure about the postponement.. but i guess they'll be happy if i do. what to do.. what to do..

it's now almost 2.30pm and so far, i've done nothing overly productive. haven't even figured out how to back up the songs in the ipod. haha. in a while i'd have to freshen up to go to megamall (for our prayer meeting). *sigh* what a day..

wake up time..

i came across this one while viewing a blog. i've read this before (though i don't know where).. but right now, i just feel it's a very timely message. hmm. guess the time for me to wake up draws near.. =p

The Awakening

A time comes in your life when you finally get it...when, in the midst of all your fears and insanity, you stop dead in your tracks and somewhere the voice inside your head cries out...ENOUGH! Enough fighting and crying and blaming and struggling to hold on.

Then, like a child quieting down after a tantrum, you blink back your tears and begin to look at the world through new eyes.

This is your awakening.

You realize it's time to stop hoping and waiting for something to change, or for happiness, safety and security to magically appear over the next horizon.

You realize that in the real world there aren't always fairy tale endings, and that any guarantee of "happily ever after" must begin with you... and in the process a sense of serenity is born of acceptance.

You awaken to the fact that you are not perfect and that not everyone will always love, appreciate or approve of who or what you are... and that's OK. They are entitled to their own views and opinions.

You learn the importance of loving and championing yourself... and in the process a sense of new found confidence is born of self-approval.

You stop complaining and blaming other people for the things they did to you - or didn't do for you - and you learn that the only thing you can really count on is the unexpected.

You learn that people don't always say what they mean or mean what they say and that not everyone will always be there for you and that everything isn't always about you.

So, you learn to stand on your own and to take care of yourself... and in the process a sense of safety and security is born of self-reliance.

You stop judging and pointing fingers and you begin to accept people as they are and to overlook their shortcomings and human frailties... and in the process a sense of peace and contentment is born of forgiveness.

You learn to open up to new worlds and different points of view. You begin reassessing and redefining who you are and what you really stand for.

You learn the difference between wanting and needing and you begin to discard the doctrines and values you've outgrown, or should never have bought into to begin with.

You learn that there is power and glory in creating and contributing and you stop maneuvering through life merely as a "consumer" looking for your next fix.

You learn that principles such as honesty and integrity are not the outdated ideals of a bygone era, but the mortar that holds together the foundation upon which you must build a life.

You learn that you don't know everything, it's not your job to save the world and that you can't teach a pig to sing. You learn that the only cross to bear is the one you choose to carry and that martyrs get burned at the stake.

Then you learn about love. You learn to look at relationships as they really are and not as you would have them be. You learn that alone does not mean lonely.

You stop trying to control people, situations and outcomes. You learn to distinguish between guilt and responsibility and the importance of setting boundaries and learning to say NO.

You also stop working so hard at putting your feelings aside, smoothing things over and ignoring your needs.

You learn that your body really is your temple. You begin to care for it and treat it with respect. You begin to eat a balanced diet, drink more water, and take more time to exercise.

You learn that being tired fuels doubt, fear, and uncertainty and so you take more time to rest. And, just as food fuels the body, laughter fuels our soul. So you take more time to laugh and to play.

You learn that, for the most part, you get in life what you believe you deserve, and that much of life truly is a self-fulfilling prophecy.

You learn that anything worth achieving is worth working for and that wishing for something to happen is different than working toward making it happen.

More importantly, you learn that in order to achieve success you need direction, discipline and perseverance. You also learn that no one can do it all alone, and that it's OK to risk asking for help.

You learn the only thing you must truly fear is fear itself. You learn to step right into and through your fears because you know that whatever happens you can handle it and to give in to fear is to give away the right to live life on your own terms.

You learn to fight for your life and not to squander it living under a cloud of impending doom.

You learn that life isn't always fair, you don't always get what you think you deserve and that sometimes bad things happen to unsuspecting, good people... and you learn not to always take it personally.

You learn that nobody's punishing you and everything isn't always somebody's fault. It's just life happening. You learn to admit when you are wrong and to build bridges instead of walls.

You learn that negative feelings such as anger, envy and resentment must be understood and redirected or they will suffocate the life out of you and poison the universe that surrounds you.

You learn to be thankful and to take comfort in many of the simple things we take for granted, things that millions of people upon the earth can only dream about: a full refrigerator, clean running water, a soft warm bed, a long hot shower.

Then, you begin to take responsibility for yourself by yourself and you make yourself a promise to never betray yourself and to never, ever settle for less than your heart's desire.

You make it a point to keep smiling, to keep trusting, and to stay open to every wonderful possibility.

You hang a wind chime outside your window so you can listen to the wind.

Finally, with courage in your heart, you take a stand, you take a deep breath, and you begin to design the life you want to live as best you can.