can't help it

even when i try to look the other way..
even when i try to blind myself..
even when i do my best to *not* see anything..
even when i close my eyes to what's happening..

it still stares me in the face
*sigh*

i don't want to know about it anymore
i don't want to be disappointed
i don't want to get hurt and frustrated

thank god for small patches of relief, though
i need all the help i can get nowadays..

how i wish..!!

nyahahahaha.. this is the sequel to the strip i posted last january 28. (xkcd rocks!)

how i wish i could come up with a retort like this, hahaha :p

i wonder what happened..

this from soulmate.
maybe someday soon..
*sigh*

full-packed

wow. this day sure was full-packed :p hmm. lemme see. it all started with me discussing complex numbers with my morning class. i used the same examples as i did yesterday (with my advisees) - i made sure to take a picture of my literally colorful "notes" hehehe. i love my purple whiteboard marker :D


after my first class, i sat in student teacher hamz' lecture (narra). i "frognapped" eloi's pet and kept it with me for the entire duration of trigo class haha. i don't know its name.. but it looks kinda cute, especially with my glasses :p

it's a bit irritating how jewo doesn't bother to listen to the lecture.. doesn't read the examples on the board.. doesn't pay attention to *any* part of the discussion.. and then is able to answer the seatwork correctly and quickly. grr. he would have been a bad example.. if only he were not right most of the time hahaha.


lunchtime was.. hahaha.. it was so fun! :D dad prepared the usual "lunch hunt" for me.. and of course i (along with jewo, apol & maima) enjoyed picking through my food looking for those elusive straws. when i got to the last one, though, i discovered that more clues were hidden.. *in the car!* nyahaha. so i and the aliens went to the car to continue the hunt. and guess what..? hahaha.. see below:


awwww. dad provided dessert for me and my alien pals. sweet. literally :D

the chocolate gave me enough energy to get through my geom class in the afternoon. i was sort of enjoying the rare bonding moment with section damselfly when my phone rang as i was wrapping up my lecture. lo and behold.. it was jewo calling. he was looking for a chauffeur, nyahahaha. sheesh. he's lucky i had an errand to run after class.. so i could bring him and groupmates pawo & aj to eee for their apprenticeship thingy :p

anyway, while waiting outside eee, we looked for santan flowerettes with five petals. hahaha. we managed to find a bunch of them (see jewo.. they're not *that* rare!) - enough to make me a flower bracelet, nyahahaha :p too bad it's not the type i could place on my own wrist, though.


by 6pm i was off to choir prax - with enough energy to sing my lungs out, if need be, hahaha. the prax went well.. considering.. hmm.. lots of things (right, pawo?). i got home at around 10.30pm.. went online.. finished the newsletter for tomorrow.. and now i'm updating my blog hahaha :D

i discovered something today. something that made me smile a genuinely *happy* smile :) although, when i think about it a bit more.. i'm not entirely sure i should, bwahahahaha :p basta. sikreto ko na lang muna 'yon nyahahaha ;D

all in all, it was a nice day. *really* nice.

wistful thinking

wistful \ˈwist-fəl\ adj : full of yearning or desire tinged with melancholy

i'm not sure why.. but i find myself feeling wistful today.

i know i told ice *part* of the reason.. but it's not just that.

hmmm. this is a different kind of feeling. i'm not used to it. and i'm not so sure that i like it..

nice hobby

hahaha. when i read this strip, i remembered the one about "nerd sniping" :D

don't you just wish you could do the same..? i know i do.. hahahaha

contagious

weirdness is contagious, i believe. and i think i've been spreading it around effectively, nyahahahaha :p

being magnetically weird isn't so bad, really. i guess i kinda expect that to happen at school. but when i start attracting unusual people even in our church.. well.. that's a bit.. uhm.. disconcerting, even for me :p

oh well. i was in a good mood today. i made a "to do" list. and i got to buy some stationery stuff - including a violet whiteboard marker and a pink permanent marker. hahaha!

it doesn't take much to make me smile these days.

this "happiness" is probably a side-effect of being contagious..

interesting

a friend sent me this file yesterday.. and it thoroughly amused me :p

it's supposed to be a test whether you're left- or right-brained. if you see the woman turning clockwise, you're using your right brain. if she's turning counterclockwise, you're using your left brain.

*just for additional info, left brainers tend to be logical, rational, analytical, objective and look into details. right brainers, on the other hand, are more random, intuitive, holistic, subjective and can see the bigger picture*

when i look at the woman, though.. she turns counterclockwise.. then clockwise.. then counterclockwise.. like she's skipping from one foot to the other. hahaha. weird.

just thought i'd share something interesting here, for a change.. :p

(tsk tsk. too bad this animated .gif file won't animate here :p )

.. on the contrary

yesterday i was chatting with a couple of my advisees during lunch/homeroom period. and we got to talking about all kinds of stuff. like how things were when i was in high school. i mentioned to them that i wasn't a very sociable person back then. i had exactly three close friends (practically the only ones i would hang out with, at any given time). i always had my nose in a book. and oftentimes i'd walk backwards, just for the heck of it. (at this point, they remarked that i was like xerox.. only a bit worse, nyahahahaha. sorry, kiddo.. that comment did not originate from me :p)

well, now that i think about it.. i'm not exactly a "people-hater." on the contrary, i *love* people. i enjoy watching all sorts of people.. listening in on conversations.. analyzing how they act/think/whatever. i am *very* interested in people. so long as they don't interact with me.. hahahahaha :p

yet again...

sometimes i feel like friendship is overrated.

think about it. there are more than 1 billion people in the planet.. and around 80+ million of them are here in the philippines. you get to interact regularly with a few hundred of those (more than a thousand, if you're quite popular). and then among those, you choose a handful whom you will trust. sometimes, for life.

but the basis for choosing your friends is mainly convenience. like how easily you can meet. how easy it is for you to adjust to him/her. how similar your personalities are. how alike you think. how compatible you are. stuff like that.

do we really choose our friends? or is the choice dictated by our situation.. our environment?

hahaha. this "friendship" stuff isn't something i want to take seriously right now. like so many other things, apparently, friendships are a danger to one's health. and sanity.

potted woksie

hahahaha. i had a blast at school today :D

first of all, i thoroughly enjoyed the honor roll committee work. haha. i think i was born to do those kinds of things - cross-checking of files, encoding, etc. - in short, i think i have a natural flair for clerical work :p i'm glad that we had our first *really* productive session today. hahaha. it's amusing to find myself smiling again :)

i took a break from all that work, though.. and chatted with noisy aliens :p and i remembered a creepy thought that friends jewo & pawo planted in my brain: what if they literally planted me in a pot.. and small "mini-me's" grew like tiny buds all over me? and those buds would detach like spores.. to be scattered all around the school's quadrangle? and they could just pick tiny versions of me (with squeeky voices crying "put me down! put me down!").. place them in their pockets.. so they can ask my "mini-me's" questions on trigonometry while taking their exams. hahahahaha. creepy, creepy thought.

well, time sure flew today. i didn't even notice that it was already past 6pm when i left school. hahahaha. i think the thought of potted woksies that haunted me as i was encoding those grades had something to do with this..

wishful thinking

make sense of this wishful thinking..

in some weird way, i enjoyed the meeting we had at school today. i think my insanity's getting worse..

i didn't mind

i think that in some ways, busyness is therapeutic.

it certainly helped me today.

quite honestly, i am enjoying my work again. after a long, long, long time.. i find myself looking forward to going to (and staying in) school. how weird is that..?!?!

maybe it's because the schoolyear's coming to a close. maybe in a way i'm cramming as much "fun time" as i can before the "goodbyes" and other stuff i'm not looking forward to.

or maybe i'm really just enjoying being busy.

go figure.

tomorrow should have been today

it seems that i'm getting more and more accustomed to this. in fact, i'm so used to this that i'm starting to be able to predict when it's going to happen.. *sigh*

so it's another uber-busy day at school. but that's ok. we managed to finish making, typing and reproducing the geom exam. and in record time! sheesh. i swear i'm *never* going to let that happen again..

still, this day has been productive.. so i guess that's something to smile about.

cramming is dangerous to one's health, indeed..

puzzled

we had our recommitment to ministry recollection today.

hmm. i can't say i feel any "holier" afterwards. neither can i say that i'm more committed in my service this time around. in fact, i can't seem to say anything definitive after attending the recollection.

i wonder if all this "nothingness" means anything..

be honest..

bwahahahaha. this one made me laugh :p

i'm being good..

hahaha. yeah. it's true.. though my friends may not believe it :p 'coz really, the only reason why i am able to handle a lot of cash is because i'm the grade level treasurer. hahahaha. additional work with no addiitonal pay. how's that for fun..?

this has been a very stressful day. and i thought i wouldn't be so harassed because the math10 periodic test was ready since yesterday. *sigh* right now, we still don't have a geom exam. not even one effing question. hahahaha. this is great.

choir prax proved to be relaxing. at least i got a break from all the school stuff. too bad there weren't any interesting songs to learn tonight. oh well. i'll take all the relaxation i can get. i think i'll be needing it for these next couple of weeks..

voyeuristic tendencies

i'm not exactly sure *why*.. but i seem to have a knack for getting glimpses of other people's thoughts/feelings/ lives/personalities. i don't really mean to pry into anyone's affairs; but people often tell me stuff that enable me to look into them deeper than they think i'm able to.

and in the same manner, i also get the feeling like there's *someone* watching me.. whatever i'm doing. it's a creepy feeling. i guess i've just gotten sort of used to it already.

anyway. in spite of the long day i had today.. well.. i'm saving my special wishes for someone who needs it a lot more than i do..

splat!!! hahahaha

today marks the start of my hectic sked for the remainder of the school year. the fourth quarter is drawing ever nearer.. and it scares me to think of all the stuff that i have to do. sheesh. i can't even imagine how i'm going to manage juggling all the activities i have. *sigh*

and to make matters worse.. all my usual baggage - the angst, the disappointment, the frustration - are still there.

it really makes me wish i could do what's in the picture.. hahahahahahaha..

well..

i don't think i need say anything more.. hahahaha