elevators drowning in flights

flights

just read my "cockroach" post again. much as i would really like to forget about those damned bugs, i couldn't get the freaky incident out of my head (well, naturally coz i read the post all over again... duh?!) anyway, i got to thinking about all the other stuff i'm afraid of. and believe me, there's a really loooooong list of those. but i'll write down the more major ones for now.

ELEVATORS
i don't know what it is about elevators that scare me. the enclosed space? the hot, sweaty smell of the crowd of strangers rubbing elbows (and Lord knows what other body parts) with you? the possibility of the elevator cable breaking and sending all the passengers hurtling down some 20 storeys at breakneck speed? maybe all of the above.

i remember i used to be so afraid of elevators that when i was going to give a lecture at the 8th floor of a building in ortigas, i came 20 minutes earlier... just so i would have enough time to walk all the way to the right floor. yup. i climbed all those 1,400 steps... and went down the same route afterwards. i just told myself i needed the additional exercise anyway.

DROWNING
i've always wanted to learn how to swim. when i was a kid, our family always went on swimming trips during summer. every year, since i was but 2 years old until i was around 11, my parents, cousins, aunts and uncles would find a rest house where we could have our own swimming party. and every year, i'd always manage to get a drink of the nasty water in the pool because i couldn't keep my head above water without a trusty "salbabida".

yes, i admit it. i don't know how to swim. and yes, i know that UPIS students all go through the swimming PE during 6th grade. nevertheless, i do not know how to swim. i cannot float even if my life depended on it. it's like my body rejects all the laws of reason and physics and refuses to be buoyant.

i look at my cousins and friends who are happily swimming at the deep end of the pool and i get green with envy. it's not that i never tried to learn how to swim. i took several swimming lessons as a kid - even before we were required to study it in 6th grade. unfortunately, it seems that like oil, water and i just dont mix. it won't cooperate with me at all.

or maybe water loves me so much that it's not content to keep me in its surface, but has to drag me to its depths so it can have me.

FLYING
most people enjoy traveling. they naturally seek jobs that would send them to faraway places - for free, of course. they'd love to go and see the sights. they'd be raring to go to singapore or japan or the US... or maybe just travel around the RP - bohol, boracay, palawan... anywhere! most people find all this adventurous island-hopping exhilirating. i'm not most people.

i hate traveling. if i had my way, i'd probably hole myself up inside the house for years (ok, maybe not years... months perhaps). or not really. i can tolerate the frequent short drives (from our place to UP, for example... or to megamall, where we have our weekly services...) and the occasional long car trips (going to bulacan to see our relatives...). but tell me that i'm gonna have to ride a plane or get on a boat? hm. you'd probably have to sedate me.

i tried flying. on a plane, of course. didn't like it. not one bit. well, i liked looking at the clouds and peering down on mountains and bodies of water (and on the patched roofs of the numerous shanties of metro manila) but that was it. all throughout the flight, all i could think of was where i could get a parachute or life vest... and if i could get my hands on it, how i should use it.it's weird but when i ride a plane, i prefer the window seat. it's like i want to be the first to know if an engine blows up - so i'd have a headstart on looking for those parachutes haha.

so let me rephrase what i said earlier. i *don't* hate traveling. i hate flying. and riding boats. in short, i hate to have my feet separated from the ground i'm standing on. i don't know, but my thinking is that if we were meant to fly or to swim, God would have given us wings and fins. haha.