* s i g h *

this entry is going to be one long rant; so read at your own risk. for my more-or-less regular readers, you have been forewarned.

i am, in general, a peace-loving person. i'm not one to pick fights or to go on a head-on confrontation with people i don't like. in spite of my cynicism and my sarcastic tongue, i am, quite surprisingly, sensitive to people's feelings. yes. you read that right. i am sensitive to people's feelings. and even though i do not always show it, i do place a lot of importance on my friends. especially since i am not the type of person who easily makes them.

but why is it that, for the most part, people are not sensitive to *my* feelings?!

there aren't many things that would make me lose my cool. like i said, i do try to be patient with people. however, this is not to say that i never lose my temper or that i don't get fed up. because i do. and this week, i a couple of people witnessed a side of me i try very hard not to show..

oo. marunong akong magtaray. marunong akong magalit. at kaya kong manlampaso ng tao, kung nasa tama naman ako. at lalung-lalo na kung pagod na pagod na ako. nakakapagtaray ako sa mga taong niloloko ako at ginagawa akong tanga. nasisigawan ko ang mga iresponsableng estudyanteng sumasayang ng oras ko at ng iba pa nilang mga nagmamalasakit na guro't kaibigan. nasasabon ko nang husto ang mga nagpapalusot na mga tao na panira ng araw. hindi ako nangingiming magsalita sa kahit sino, kung kinakailangan. at sabi ng ilan, nakakatakot daw ako pag ganito ang aking 'mood.'

nakakatakot pala ako. hahaha. oo nga. nakakatakot talaga ako pag nagalit. kaya siguro hindi ko magawang ipakita 'yan sa mga kaibigan ko. ayokong gawin kasi alam kong masasaktan sila. dahil masakit akong magsalita kapag nasasaktan ako. at kapag nasimulan ko nang magsalita at magbuhos ng sama ng loob, hindi ako basta-basta napipigil. matalim ang dila ko.. siguro dahil alam ko rin na totoo ang mga sinasabi ko.. at matagal-tagal rin bago ko mailabas ang mga pinipigilan kong sabihin.

yes. today i was disappointed yet again. fine. i am used to it, i guess. *somebody* trained me well in the art of waiting in vain, hahaha. i think i am accustomed to being left out.. or taken for granted.. or ignored. *someone* does that on a regular basis. and hell, yeah.. i've been getting that sort of treatment for more than a decade.

but i'm not used to getting that from the rest. not YET at least.

then again, maybe it is time to learn.

yup. it is time for me to learn..