broken

As Bread That Is Broken

A F#m
Many hearts are hungry tonight
Bm A
Many trapped in darkness
D E
Yearn for the light
F#m Bm
So many who are far from home
D
And many who are lost
A D
O Lord Your wounded children need
Bm E
The power of Your cross

Chorus:
A
As bread that is broken
D Bm
Use our lives
E
As wine that is poured out
D A
A willing sacrifice

Empower us Father
D Bm
To share the love of Christ
A D
As bread that is broken Lord
F#m E A
Use our lives

Help us to begin where we are
Help us love the people
Near to our hearts
Then give our faith a mission field
Wherever You may call
Lord love Your world
Through each of us
Until we've touched them all

( Repeat Chorus Twice )

As wine that is poured out
As bread that is broken Lord
Use our lives

though i haven't heard it for quite a long time, i like this song. it just came back to me after the praise & worship last night. broken bread. hmm. there seems to be something beautiful about brokenness. and God seems to give additional helpings of His grace to broken people.

lately i've been thinking a lot about being broken. some of my friends come to me with their problems.. and i try my best to listen, to help out. and my heart goes out to them.. because i really feel their brokenness.. their pain.. and how hope just seems to be out of reach. and as i hear them out and try to see if i can help them in any way, i also get in touch with my own brokenness.

i am not perfect. i am not even good. when i look at myself, i see a person who sometimes struggles to do what is right.. but oftentimes fails. i see a wounded girl.. trying to convince herself that she has worth. in spite of her mistakes. in spite of her numerous shortcomings. when i examine my thoughts, i am amazed and appalled at the same time. i find that who i want to be and who i actually am are two totally different people. and i remember that famous verse in Rom 7:18-19
"For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do-this I keep on doing." ouch. that is sooo like me.

many times, i question whether it's worth it to even *try* to do what's right. it's so hard to struggle. so difficult to go against the flow. old habits die hard. so do old ways of thinking. and frustration builds up.. and soon, despair and hopelessness set in. broken. i know just how it feels to be broken.

but last night i realized that being broken isn't always a bad thing. in fact, it is a *necessary* step in following the Lord. without the struggle, without the pain.. we will always tell ourselves that it is by *our* strength that we overcome. without the tears that come from our sorrows, without the scars caused by our sins, without the evidence of our woundedness, we will always think ourselves better than we really are. without being broken.. without being poured out.. we will only be able to look down upon others "more sinful" than we are.

broken and humbled. may we all allow the Lord to use us the way He plans. "As bread that is broken, Lord, use our lives.."