i love watching those crime shows on tv. my favorites are (of course) the CSI's (although i'm not very fond of horatio and his obsession with his shades).. though i also am fond of watching monk (his weirdness is funny and sad at the same time), law & order and discovery's crime night.they say that serial killers are almost always male. female killers are rare.. and female *serial* killers even more so. hmmm. i wonder why. is it because female brains are (supposedly) less prone to violence? is it because the "weaker sex" is thought to be more docile.. less inclined to seek out dangerous thrills? or is it because we are thought to be more mentally stable? (hahaha)
well. i don't know. what i DO know is that there are times when i get sooooooo damned angry that i want to literally lash out at everyone. but sometimes.. the anger burrows deep inside me.. hiding. and the hot anger cools down into a more sinister, more calculating form. it turns into hate. and i wonder whether that's how killers start out.
*sigh* i'm no murderess. not in the actual, physical sense, that is. but in my mind, i've wished my enemies ill so many times. and at my worst, i've come even to the point of wishing them dead. thankfully, though, those wishes of mine have never come to pass.
today i find myself hurting badly.. and i find myself wishing again.
damn. somebody just give me some cereal to wish on instead..
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