a series of unfortunate events

“and everything starts to fall apart
covered in ink to hide these scars
and everything ends the way it starts
i just wanna feel like i belong”

- earshot (fall apart)

this summer is turning out to be.. interesting. two weeks ago, my car’s air conditioner simply stopped cooling my car (i think the freon leaked). i suffered through several days of driving in the sweltering heat of the metro (i didn’t have time to get the a/c fixed - had to use the car to get to work and then to choir practice). thursday last week, my cell phone “died.” it refused to turn on. no matter how i tried to coax it back to life, it simply wouldn’t. saturday afternoon, i brought my zen micro mp3 player to abenson to have it fixed. the socket for the earphones was grounded. then today.. well, today i was going to go online on my PC to check emails and update my site.. but my computer’s all messed up. apparently, it does not recognize my hard drive. great. just great.

ok.. so halfway through summer, all my favorite things conk out on me one after the other. it’s really quite unbelievable. it would even have been hilarious.. if only it were happening to someone else, and not to me. hmm. the word “jinx” appropriately pops into my mind.

i am, therefore, quite surprised by the way i’m taking all this in stride. a couple of months back, if this happened to me, i probably would have alternated between irritation, bitchiness and despondency. i would have been near-inconsolable over the demise of my cell phone.. as well as the fact that i had no mp3 player to lull me to sleep. i’d have worried myself sick over my PC and all the data that i may not be able to recover. yes, i would have felt all that - *if* all this had happened a few months back.

but this is a different time.. and apparently, i am a different me. and in spite of the fact that things are (quite literally) falling apart all around me, i am still able to smile. and still able to hope.

so what did i learn from this series of unfortunate events? hmm. well, this is my list, so far..
* happiness is not dictated by circumstance. happiness is a choice. i can always choose to smile :)
* there’s no need to lose sleep over material possessions. my favorite things are just that - *things* :) when they conk out, i can get them repaired - or replace them.
* everything happens for a reason. even a string of “bad luck” can teach us something. i wouldn’t have realized how much i’ve changed, if all this hadn’t happened.
* sometimes misfortune isn’t always so bad. i learned a lot about myself and how the Lord has been working in me - all because of my “misfortune” his summer :)

it’s weird, but right now, i’m happy. really happy :) ‘coz i just found out that when everything starts to fall apart, that’s when God can show you how He can make everything - including you - whole again. and in the midst of the seeming chaos and misfortune, there is beauty in seeing His work slowly taking shape. everything is beautiful - even the scars.

“everything ends the way it starts..” i’d have to agree. the Lord started His work on me.. and i know someday i will end up the way He wants me to :)