the zahir

"According to the writer Jorge Luis Borges, the idea of the Zahir comes from Islamic tradition and is thought to have arisen at some point in the eighteenth century. Zahir, in Arabic, means visible, present, incapable of going unnoticed. It is someone or something which, once we have come into contact with them or it, gradually occupies our every thought, until we can think of nothing else. This can be considered either a state of holiness or of madness."

-Faubourg Saint-Perez
Encyclopaedia of the Fantastic (1953)

i got this from paulo coelho's latest book, the zahir. a great read.. especially this valentine season. it's not so much a book about love as it is about obsession.. and that very thin line that differentiates one from the other.

the thing i like about paulo coelho's books is that they are so unlike the usual sappy romance stories where everything is a fairy tale come true. instead, his stories deal with very real and very raw emotions.. including the doubts, the inconsistencies and contradictions that these bring. he is not afraid to put into words all the thoughts a broken, desperate man may think (but oftentimes refuses to admit, even to himself). his characters may say one thing in one chapter.. only to take it back in the next. and that's okay. because that's how we humans really are. mostly confused and contradictory.

and so, while i may not believe in the author's allusions to "the Lady" and other religious overtones in his books, i admire him greatly for his brave attempt to look at love, life (and everything in between) from a different perspective.

the zahir, like coelho's other book, by the river piedra.., contains a lot of ideas that merit more than a casual glance. so i think i'll find time to re-read it.. not only for the numerous quotations i plan to jot down (hehe).. but also for another chance to find out more about *my* own beliefs about love and obsession.

here's one passage that helped me a lot this valentine season. it's probably one of the reasons why i spent a very happy day yesterday. read on..

"Although I know that I may have lost forever the woman I love, I must try to enjoy all the graces that God has given me today. Grace cannot be hoarded. There are no banks where it can be deposited to be used when I feel more at peace with myself. If I do not make full use of these blessings, I will lose them forever.

God knows that we are all artists of life. One day, he gives us a hammer with which to make sculptures, another day he gives us brushes and paints with which to make a picture, or paper and a pencil to write with. But you cannot make a painting with a hammer, or a sculpture with a paintbrush. Therefore, however difficult it may be, I must accept today's small blessing, even if they seem like curses because I am suffering and it's a beautiful day, the sun is shining, and the children are singing in the street. This is the only way I will manage to leave my pain behind and rebuild my life."

i don't think i've managed to leave all my pain behind. not yet, at least. but like the passage says, "I must try to enjoy all the graces that God has given me today".. and there are so many of them to enjoy! :-) and bit by bit, i'm beginning to realize that even the hurts and the pains are His blessings, too. because they take me out of my comfort zone and allow me to see the world with new eyes. because they close forbidden doors and show me new ones to explore. because they make each day seem like an adventure with the Lord.

*contented sigh* i thank God for everything that's happened to me. no regrets. none at all. i wouldn't want to have lived my life any other way.. :-)