on the other side

what's it like to look at the world through rose colored glasses? i wouldn't know. i've never owned rose colored glasses; and i don't intend to, ever. all my sunglasses are dark. too dark.. so my eyes are totally hidden. clearly, this says much about how i look at life, hahahaha.

what's it like to be on the other side of the glass? ahhh. now there's a question i can definitely answer hahaha.

my reply? scary.. but in a sick, twisted way, also exciting bwahahahaha XP i just wish you hadn't laughed after what happened. sheesh.. you would've been scared stiff, too, if it were you..

try..? no, ma!

it's only my third time to go to trinoma hahaha. sheesh. i guess that's pretty pathetic, when you think about it. considering that the mall's only two rides away from our house.

anyway, today i resolved to visit that mall more often. i guess i could consider that my early new year's resolution, nyahahaha. so i'm glad that ninang treated us to her bday lunch at kamay kainan trinoma this afternoon. that gave us the opportunity to be mallrats again hehe. and of course, to take lots and lots of pictures (ok, i admit.. i did feel quite embarrassed. para kaming mga hindi pa nakatapak sa mall hahahaha!)

oh well. one more day 'til christmas. as expected, i am happy/sad. wow.

i can't wait for this season to be over and done with.. thanx for my getup. it really drew a lot of compliments.. :)

starstruck

here are more pix from our vera-perez caroling this evening

i like our uniform for the caroling. it's bright, flashy and happy. in short, it's so unlike me.. hahahaha.. XP

seems like as christmas draws nearer, my days get busier. i spent my entire morning (and most of my afternoon) wrapping christmas presents for my relatives. i helped my dad with his presents, too (i seem to be the only one in the family who gets a kick out of wrapping stuff hehe). by the time heids picked me up to go to the vera-perez place, i had little energy left.

but i dunno.. i think singing has a way of lifting my spirit. or heck, maybe it's just the makeup hahaha. whatever the reason, by the time we were at the venue, i was feeling a whole lot better. quite hyper, even, hehe.

'mother lily' (the real one, nyahahaha) was there. but being near-clueless about local celebrities/stars, i didn't even recognize her. hahaha. in spite of the er.. (famous?) personalities present, i wasn't starstruck. *sigh* i was, instead, struck by something else, totally (but that's another story.. another blog post altogether) jeez. i think there really is something wrong with me.. XP

tonight is our last caroling night for 2008. and before leaving the place, i realized that today would be the last time i'd see my friends before christmas. our next activity will be on the 27th (practice). quite unexpectedly, i felt saddened by the thought. hah. weird. totally weird.

nevertheless, i'm grateful for the silver lining that presented itself to me just before going home :) haha. christmas really is a season for hope.. ;) thanx. that was *really* unexpected.. but i'm soooooo grateful for that. you don't know how much i needed that today.. :D *hugs*

what's a 'threshold'?

click here for the complete album of pix :)

ok, so it's been a *really* long sunday. but i don't mind. not so much. i didn't expect to enjoy the christmas holiday.. but with all the caroling activities, i find that i am getting quite excited :p

the sunday mass wasn't very eventful; but due to some.. er.. circumstances, i didn't really feel too happy this morning. so, as is usually the case, i went around the mall for some therapeutic shopping (it was a last-minute christmas shopping spree, ok?). that helped cheer me up a bit. so that by the time i went off to valle verde 4 for the caroling, i was my uh.. 'normal' self (as the term 'normal' so loosely applies to me, that is, haha).

what really made my day, though, was a simple acknowledgement. hmm. how 'bout that? whoever said "sticks and stones may hurt my bones; but words will never hurt me" sure was an idiot, hahaha. in my case, sticks and stones may hurt my bones; but a few simple words can always 'heal' me :)

guess i can say i'm at the threshold of something i'm not exactly sure i want to cross..
now why can't you always be this decent? *sigh* i'll pretend not to notice the blatant manipulation..

all i want for christmas...

my two front teeth are still intact, thank goodness.. so i won't have to include them in my christmas wish list.

what do i *really* want for christmas, anyway? world peace? a stop to global warming?

here are some song lyrics that complete the phrase "all i want for christmas.."

"... is a new year with you; twelve more months of loving, a heart so sweet and true" - toby keith

"... is to be loved by someone like you. outside the snow is falling; my heart is calling to spend my christmas time alone with you" - TLC

"... is some love from you..." - pretty willie

and some more..

"when i walk through a room let them see you need me.. walk through a room let them see you love me, love me, love me. that's what i want for christmas" - ella fitzgerald

"this year for christmas, i just wanna be with you" - george strait

hmm.. clearly, a pattern emerges *sigh*

so, how would YOU complete the phrase "all i want for christmas.."? :) as for me, i definitely go with mariah.

ala-BANG!

(more pictures of the alabang carolling here)

it is another carolling night for us - this time, in alabang. the singing was fine, i guess. could be *a lot* better.. especially since there were so few of us tonight. and most of us weren't exactly in tip-top shape (voice-wise, that is). tsk tsk. but our audience seemed to appreciate our efforts, hehehe. i certainly hope so.

it was the trip to and from alabang that made this night different, haha. on the way to the venue from st. paul, boss rannie took a wrong turn.. and we ended up in pasay haha. we kept going, looking for a u-turn slot.. and we almost reached mall of asia (again?!). nyahaha. then, on our way back to makati from alabang, we sort of 'got lost' again. it was past 10pm already, and a lot of the streets in makati were already closed. so we had to take a lot of detours.. and boss rannie got befuddled again, i suppose.. coz we ended up going 'round circuitous routes before reaching st paul's compound XP

yup. this is one of those weird days again :p i'm going to brand this happy-sad. but i think i'll concentrate on happy. for now, at least.

caloocan carolling

it's been a while since i last went home at 1:00am haha XP am i tired? you bet. did i have a perfect day? definitely not. but i'm not going to dwell on the not-so-good things right now. in spite of the 'misunderstandings,' the stress, the paranoia and the erm.. the usual stuff.. I AM SMILING ü

more pix on this link XP i think i'm getting the hang of being a camwhore bwahahaha
hmm. i wonder how long this 'happiness' is going to last..

christmas in the air

these were taken from our performance at the mall of asia last night :) *finally* it's over!! but to be honest, i did have a wonderful time. i guess i really missed preparing for performances.. hehe.

click here and here for tons and tons of pix :)

hahaha.. in spite of myself, i'd have to say..

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYBODY!!

(weird) family time :p

i don't have siblings.. and boy, am i grateful! hahaha.. at least, i have my cousins. they are of varying degrees of "weird" - the most alien, being WCD of course haha.

wcd took this neat pic.. so i thought i'd post it here. cool, huh?

it's nice to *finally* be able to spend time with family, after such a hectic sked at school.

i'm sure tomorrow will bring more picture posts from me hahahaha.. XP

logic applied..

.. logic gone wrong hahaha XP

i wonder how my students are coping with the problem set we gave them hehehe :p

today's the first time i got to sleep in in a week. it's like all my tiredness caught up to me. i was able to stay in bed 'til around 9.30am, hahaha. i woke up feeling sore and not really able to move without saying 'ow' - which makes me think i'm *really* getting older. oh well..

no rest for me from now 'til christmas i guess *sigh* i'm not looking forward to the coming week..

19 days 'til christmas. hmp. i just want to get it over with. i just want to get over you.. *sigh*

fixing my eyes..

.. on you XP
i like my new glasses, haha. it looks 'retro' yet 'classy' according to my friends. well, yeah. like i said, i like my new glasses. but i don't really like the way i look when i wear them. i have really poor eyesight; so i have really thick lenses too (in spite of the fact that they're ultra-thin plastic lenses). they tend to 'warp' the shape of my eyes - making them look buggy. oh well.. tomorrow i'm back to wearing my contacts anyway, hehehe :p

the ST's and i finished the problem set for geom. wheeee! hahaha. i don't know what it is about inventing math questions that makes me happy, hehehehe :p it's always good to spread some holiday cheer about *evil grin*

well, i'm determined to enjoy this day. i'm going to be happy - no matter what. nyahahaha.

merry quizmas.. er.. christmas, that is XP

i love the holiday season.. :D i can't wait to find out my two surprises.. hahaha

missing sam

sam sent me this a couple of days back. hahahaha. i just love getting picture/commentaries from my friends. says a lot about how they think. says a lot, too, about how they think i think, bwahahaha XP

anyway, after a long, long, long time, i *finally* got sam all to myself this afternoon XD it's been a while since we were last able to chat. i have to admit, it's fun to have another "alien" to hang out with. an *adult* alien who's on the same frequency as i am, hahaha. i miss those 'chikahan-with-matching-okrayan' moments XP

thanks, sam, for making me feel a lot less lonely. time flew for me this afternoon. maybe before the year ends we can have a repeat :p next time's my treat :D

*sigh* it's great to have a true friend who knows you XD i wish YOU would be a true friend to me too..

needing clarity

i broke my glasses last week. i spent the past couple of days realizing just how difficult it is to have eyesight as bad as mine. *sigh* i miss my eyeglasses :(

sure, i have my trusty contacts; and i barely use my glasses when i go out (hahaha.. they say i look better without them anyway). but when i'm here at home, it's hard to move around without my glasses. i want to remove my contacts so i could rest my eyes; but i couldn't. otherwise, i wouldn't even be able to see past my short nose. *sigh*

tomorrow i'm going back to the eye doctor to get my new glasses. that's an additional P4k draining a hole in my pocket, waaah! :( but i have no choice. i *need* to get my vision back. i can't live alternating blurry eyesight and tired, puffy eyes for the rest of my life.

i need some clarity. and i don't think my eyes can take much more of this stinging. i wish my eye doctor can fix my blind spots as well.. :(

feels like christmas

*i can literally feel the christmas season today*

this is freaky. hahaha. how did the christmas spirit creep upon me like that?!?! *sigh* oh well. this is going to be difficult. december is just about to start. there are 25 more days to go before "d-day" and i don't know how i can live with so much 'christmas spirit' hovering around me.

there's so much left to do - christmas shopping, work, choir prax, WORK.. - and my current mindset is interfering with all that. gotta focus. gotta get a grip on things again. gotta get a grip on myself again.. *sigh*

yet again..

in all my years as a UP student, i *never* spent more than an hour in a queue. never. so now i'm wondering why the hell i bothered lining up for 1 1/2 hours just to buy tickets to a movie that from the very start i expected to be disappointed with.

oh, right. a promise is a promise.. *sigh*

i promised my cousins i'd treat them to the twilight movie once it shows. what i didn't expect was the sheer number of people (and not just *tweens* mind you!) in queue at gateway cinemas. sheesh.

there's just one word i can use to describe the movie: disappointing. i have no plans to post a movie review here because i don't want to have to remember how edward looked so girly.. or how bella's character lacked spunk.. or the way jasper looked so blank all the time.. or.. never mind.

disappointed yet again. *sigh* i should be getting used to this by now.. so why am i not? :( i miss you so much

choices

Both Sides Now
Joni Mitchell

Rows and floes of angel hair
And ice cream castles in the air
And feather canyons everywhere
Ive looked at clouds that way

But now they only block the sun
They rain and snow on everyone
So many things I would have done
But clouds got in my way

Ive looked at clouds from both sides now
From up and down, and still somehow
Its cloud illusions I recall
I really dont know clouds at all

Moons and junes and ferris wheels
The dizzy dancing way you feel
As evry fairy tale comes real
Ive looked at love that way

But now its just another show
You leave em laughing when you go
And if you care, dont let them know
Dont give yourself away

Ive looked at love from both sides now
From give and take, and still somehow
Its loves illusions I recall
I really dont know love at all

Tears and fears and feeling proud
To say I love you right out loud
Dreams and schemes and circus crowds
Ive looked at life that way

But now old friends are acting strange
They shake their heads, they say Ive changed
Well somethings lost, but somethings gained
In living evry day

Ive looked at life from both sides now
From win and lose and still somehow
Its lifes illusions I recall
I really dont know life at all

Ive looked at life from both sides now
From up and down, and still somehow
Its lifes illusions I recall
I really dont know life at all
why is is to hard to choose? i really don't know you at all..

deja vu is driving me crazy

i woke up from a night filled with vivid dreams. one was really good.. and the other was really bad. i wonder why such a big part of my life seems to be lived out in my head. i hate it. i wish i could shut my brain up. oftentimes it's not worth living through the images in my mind..

so i have a bit of a temper. i'm here sitting in front of my pc trying to cool my head and slow my heart. it feels odd, feeling angry and scared at the same time. this would be funny if it weren't happening to me..


hypnotized. hmm. maybe i should go for that. i've always wondered what it's like to be 'under a spell' haha. then again.. maybe i already know.. i just don't know that i do..

it's hard being a phoenix. i wish i could kill the stupid bird once and for all. maybe i should feed her to you..

(4-letter)ing (3-letter word)

HUG.

why is it so hard to come by these days? i haven't gotten a meaningful one in weeks..
and i'm *desperate* for it :(
i wish it would come from you though. i wouldn't be needing one if it weren't for you.. :'(

i need to defy the force of gravity

i love the night. i wish i lived somewhere with a bit more open sky so i could stare out at the stars and the moon. but our house is in an urban neighborhood with too much smog and too little sky, so i simply content myself with my imagination and my nightly musings.

i find it comforting to have the moon above me during the dark hours. it doesn't matter if it's full or crescent.. if he's white, blue or red. i love luna. maybe that's the reason why i'm a bit of a lunatic hahaha.

he has a mysterious pull, not just on the tides, but on me. i could stare at him for hours and be content. he may be cold and unreachable, but that doesn't really matter. just being with him makes me feel quietly happy.

sometimes i wish on the stars that surround him. and i am quite sure that he listens in to my requests. because most of the time, my looniest petitions are granted the moment the words are uttered from my lips. that always catches me off guard. and though part of me is glad that my wish comes true, a larger part of me is scared..

i'm afraid that luna wants to be with me as much as i want to stay with him.

i don't know why those that make me happy turn out to be the dangerous ones..
"you are the most dangerous creature i've ever met"

getting organized

three weeks and 16 coffee cups after starbucks gave away this year's promo card, i have my first 2009 planner, hahahahaha!

i've been collecting starbucks planners for 4 years now.. and i have to say i'm disappointed with their offer this year. it doesn't have any 'freebie' coupons (like the first planner), it has no 'vintage-classic' feel (like the second), nor does it have a cool 'leather' cover (like last year's). for 2009, starbucks featured an extremely ordinary planner that's paired with an even more ordinary-looking pen. its only redeeming quality (if you can even call it that) is its bookmark. and the fact that you can choose from three (totally predictable/unexciting) planner colors: red, blue and black.

despite my complaints, though, i'm keeping this one. hell, maybe i'll even try to get all 3 boring colors.

'coz really.. the fun is in the pursuit.. not in the acquisition XP i guess that ought to explain a lot about US..