not just another songpost..

God Give Me Strength
Elvis Costello

Now I have nothing, so God give me strength
'Cause Im weak in his wake
And if I'm strong I might still break
And I don't have anything to share
That I wont throw away into the air

That song is sung out
This bell is rung out
He was the light that I'd bless
He took my last chance at happiness
So God give me strength, God give me strength

I can't hold onto him, God give me strength
When the phone doesn't ring
And I'm lost in imagining
Everything that kind of love is worth
As I tumble back down to the earth

That song is sung out
This bell is rung out
He was the light that I'd bless
He took my last chance at happiness
So God give me strength,

God if he'd grant me his indulgence and decline
I might as well wipe him from my memory
Fracture the spell as he becomes my enemy
Maybe I was washed out like a lip-print on his shirt
See, Im only human, I want him to hurt
I want him
I want him to hurt

Since I lost the power to pretend
That there could ever be a happy ending

That song is sung out
This bell is rung out
He was the light that I'd bless
He took my last chance at happiness
So God give me strength, God give me strength

* * *

i'm not required to report to school today. the math periodic tests were held last friday, so i get a sort of "vacation" at least for this day. too bad i couldn't do what i really wanted to do for today. hmp. why do i always have to wait, anyway? tsk tsk tsk. i'm such an impatient gal. i soooo hate waiting :(

* * *

*sigh* no rains. this is such a sunny day. no cloud in sight. darnit.

* * *

i keep thinking about yesterday's mall-tripping with sam. i just realized how much i missed that dude. we really ought to hang out more often.. but that isn't always possible. tsk tsk. guess that's one of the disadvantages of having a special someone in your life.. haha. (peace! ;p)

* * *

just as i miss sam (don't worry.. i miss you in a good way, haha. but you really should tell *him* to go away more often nyahahaha ;p), i miss a couple of people too. like mumsie. and songbird. and meshi. and pocnat. and dogfish. and hazel. and amour. and ever-help. and silent-threat. and zeezee :(

* * *

this crazy-hectic sked is getting to me. it's not just that everything looks so bleak and grey. but really.. while i'm constantly amidst so many people, i do find myself feeling more and more alone.

* * *

if you had only 24 hours left to live, would you want God to tell you?

i used to think i would want to know. i used to think that if i knew i had only one more day, then i'd shape up in hyperspeed.. make-up with my enemies.. say my sad (or not-so-sad) goodbyes.. and (hopefully) go to heaven to meet the Maker.

but now, i don't know. i think i just realized that there are some things that i'm not sure i ever want to know. there are just some stuff that are too scary to find out about.

and denial can be such a sweet sanity-savior.

* * *

are you good at stitching? are you good at untying knots? can you connect the dots? or do you read between the lines?