dreams of dying

i've had so many dreams in the past where i almost died. they were all memorable, actually. and quite freaky.

there was one where i was looking at myself in the mirror - and i saw my reflection move independently from me. to my horror, she grinned this evil grin and put the barrel of her gun to her mouth.. and then i woke up.

i also had this dream where i was flying. really high in the sky. i was looking down at tall skyscrapers.. and then trees.. and mountains. it took a while before i remembered that i was afraid of heights. and it took another second before i realized that i didn't know how to fly. and as soon as i thought about it, a heaviness filled my stomach.. and i felt myself plunging down *really* fast. i was hurtling from the sky at an unbelievable speed. i felt like a bullet headed straight back to earth. and i saw the ground speeding up to meet me.. and then i woke up.

at another time, i dreamed i was on my knees, along with hundreds of thousands of other people. we were all kneeling in rows. it was the end of the world. and the only way to leave this planet was (as they said in the dream) to die by stabbing. so the plan was, each person should stab the back of the one in front of him/her. then, as the stabbed victim starts to die, he/she would stab the one in his/her front.. until everyone dies and leaves this earth. it felt so eerie.. in my dream i could hear bodies slumping down and i could feel blood flowing all around. and soon it was my turn. i took a deep breath and waited for the knife to plunge. and i waited. and waited some more. and i realized that i had been stabbed already - but it didn't hurt at all. i just felt my blood draining slowly from my body. and then everything went black. and then i woke up.

but what if i didn't wake up? what if i refused to wake up? would that even be possible?

. . .