missing my guy

today, i went window shopping after the morning service. there are several items in my "to buy" list. these include (but are not limited to):

* black formal (closed) shoes
* black high-heeled sandals
* decent rubber shoes (or walking shoes)
* a pair of good black jeans
* ecru dress (for this year's graduation ceremonies)
* semi-formal dress (would you believe i don't have any decent dress?! at my age?!?!)
* new undies (i was about to say "lingerie" bwahahaha :p)
* some shirts (or blouses) for summer
* book #2 of the septimus heap series ("flyte")
* curtains for my room

unfortunately, there's quite a gap between *wanting* something and *actually* getting it. (sigh) i was only able to buy the black formal shoes. i looked around for book #2 but both powerbooks and nbs ran out of stocks. bummer :(

i was able to find *a lot* of really good stuff, though. while browsing through the racks at cinderella, i came across some elegant dresses. i also found some cool blouses and shirts.. as well as rubber shoes, watches and perfumes. i saw this light-colored cotton semi-casual polo for guys with thin stripes. it looked really nice.. and i found myself wanting to buy it. except that i didn't have anyone i could give it to. nyahahaha.

that realization hit me quite unexpectedly. darnit. i miss having a special someone to buy stuff for. i love to go shopping for *my guy* - hunting for a good shirt.. a nice watch.. cool shoes.. etc. hahaha. i may not always have the resources to actually buy the stuff.. but it sure makes me feel great. i imagine myself dressing him up (er.. not literally. not *always* at least, wahaha).. and that makes me happy. but right now, i don't have "my guy" to shop for. and the feeling i get is somewhat akin to loneliness. (sigh) oh well..

i wonder if this is an effect of the lenten season, nyahahaha. suddenly, i find myself wishing for the day after easter.. :p