Serving the Undeserving

“ ‘No,’ said Peter, ‘you shall never wash my feet.’ Jesus answered, ‘Unless I wash you, you have no part with me.’ ‘Then, Lord,’ Simon Peter replied, ‘not just my feet but my hands and my head as well!’” John 13:8-9

I attended the EMR held at the Rivers Center this Saturday. I was there only because our group was assigned to sing at the Mass; and because I was tasked to man the projector. Honestly, I wanted to go home already. It’s been a long week - filled with activities both in the choir and at work. I was tired, sweaty and sleepy. I wanted to rest.

Nevertheless, I stayed to serve at the EMR. I told myself I’d just read a good book while the seminar was going on.. just to while away time. But as Sis. Nona was giving her lecture on discipleship, I found that I did not want to read my book anymore. I was interested in the talk. Even though I was not really an official participant of the EMR, I realized that God must really have wanted me to be there.. so He could speak to me. So I put my book away. And I listened.

I have been singing in the choir longer than I have been working. I’ve experienced a lot of “burnout” moments. Over the years, I’ve had sooo many “dramatic” encounters with various members in the community. Encounters that brought frustration and disillusionment. Numerous times, I’ve considered quitting the ministry.. or leaving the community. And yet, there I was.. sitting in at the EMR, when I would rather have gone home to rest. And I asked myself, “Why am I still here, serving in this community?”

Hmmm. Why, indeed? I got my answer when Fr. Domie discussed the verse I quoted previously (Jn 13:8-9) and began the Rites of Washing of the Feet. (Incidentally, this verse is special to me. It’s actually one of the verses in my prayer journal, way back in 1999). It was a very moving moment for me - bringing back to mind a lot of the lessons I’ve learned through years of ministry service.

Like Peter, I did not want the Lord to “wash my feet.” I did not want Him to see how dirty I was. And I did not want Him to be soiled because of me. I was sinful. He is holy. He should not be serving me. I should be washing His feet instead.

But Fr. Domie said it so well. True ministry is serving the undeserving. And to do that, one must really be humbled. I had to recognize that I needed a Savior.. but I had to be humble enough to allow Him to cleanse me, as well. For it is by stooping down and washing my feet that the Lord made me realize that He accepts me.. loves me.. unconditionally.

I have a lot of faults and failures.. but the Lord is willing to minister to me - with my dirty feet and all. He cleans me and purifies me. He gives me second, third and fourth chances. And He tells me to do the same to others.

How can I refuse? I, who have been given so much, how can I say no to the privilege of service? Despite trials, moments of spiritual dryness and frustration, I am still here because of Him. And I have no regrets, whatsoever :)

So, refreshed and empowered, I say “yes” once more to the Lord’s call. An undeserving minister.. ready to serve Him.. and others who may be as undeserving as I.