by my lonesome

it's officially summer and we do not have any classes in UPIS anymore. still, this is going to be another one of those hectic weeks for me. today we had our final graduation rehearsal. tomorrow we'll have the baccalaureate in the morning.. and the commencement exercises in the afternoon. then i'll proceed to choir practice and then (maybe) to recording. on wednesday, i'm off to an appointment at 10am.. lecture from 1-5pm.. prayer meeting by 7pm.. graduation ball from 8-11pm. hmm. just thinking about it makes my head hurt and my stomach cramp up. *sigh*

anyway. for the past days i found myself shying away from company. i don't know.. i guess i just want to be alone. it's not that i do not like people (although friend sanny would probably disagree with me on that). i just need time to be with myself. to organize my thoughts. to look inside me and see what i need to work on. the past week brought out so many realizations - welcome and otherwise. i suppose it will take me some time to sort through the whole effing mess.

in a weird (though not totally unexpected) way, sam also wants to be alone. so right now, i am literally and figuratively by my lonesome. hmm. it's not so bad. i guess the solitude and quiet introspection will help calm me a bit.. and maybe put things in their proper perspective. maybe. i just really hope everything goes back to normal soon. because solitude, with all its advantages, can also be quite maddening.

meanwhile, here's a song.. courtesy of soulmate #2..

honestly ok
dido

i just want to feel safe in my own skin
i just want to be happy again
i just want to feel deep in my own world
but im so lonely i dont even want to be with myself anymore
on a different day
if i was safe in my own skin
then i wouldn't feel lost and so frightened
but this is today and im lost in my own skin
and im so lonely i dont even want to be with myself anymore
i just want to feel safe in my own skin
i just want to be happy again

now here's a song from me. hmm. i've always liked this song, but it's only now that i read the lyrics. hahaha. niiiiiice. really nice. soulmate #2.. should i dedicate this to you..? ;-p

white flag
dido

I know you think that I shouldn't still love you
I'll tell you that, but if I didn't say it
Well, I'd still have felt it
Where's the sense in that?

I promise I'm not trying to make your life harder
Or return to where we were

Well I will go down with this ship
And I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I'm in love and always will be

I know I left too much mess
And destruction to come back again
And I caused but nothing but trouble
I understand if you can't talk to me again
And if you live by the rules of "It's over"
Then I'm sure that that makes sense

Well I will go down with this ship
And I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I'm in love and always will be

And when we meet, as I'm sure we will
All that was then will be there still
I'll let it pass and hold my tongue
And you will think that I've moved on

Well I will go down with this ship
And I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I'm in love and always will be