falling

"if you do not climb, you will not fall. this is true. but is it that bad to fail, that hard to fall?"

-morpheus, sandman

everybody makes mistakes. heck, i know i've committed at least a hundred of those.. and that's just for this year. and it's not so bad, really. you make a mistake. you get up. you move on. easier said than done, of course. still, it *can* be done. and that's what matters.

i've gone through so much pain because of my lapses in judgment and bad decisions. but this has actually turned me into a much better (and hopefully stronger) person. i've learned a lot of things these past months. things i would never have understood had i not taken risks and failed. i've grown up considerably, too.. and my heart bears deeper yet more meaningful battle scars. i've been forced to look at myself squarely in the mirror.. and to like, if not love, what i see. i've been taught how to give value to myself and to the numerous gifts and talents bestowed upon me. and of course, i've learned how to see the brighter side of things. this includes, in no small way, finding the good in people.. no matter how much they have hurt me.

the trouble with people is that they are just like me. imperfect. broken. prone to error. committing the same mistakes over and over again.

the thing i like most about people is that they are just like me. imperfect. broken. prone to error. committing the same mistakes over and over again. forgiven. constantly learning. constantly teaching.

forming bonds with other people. that's always a risk. friendships may fade. love may break hearts. relationships may fail. "if you do not climb, you will not fall.." but not climbing will mean not being able to soar to new heights.. not being able to fly like the eagle.. not seeing the beautiful view from Above. and so i continue to climb. the fall may be hard.. but i know He'll always be there to either catch me.. or to teach me to fly :)