i'm not surprised

You are The Moon

Hope, expectation, Bright promises.

The Moon is a card of magic and mystery - when prominent you know that nothing is as it seems, particularly when it concerns relationships. All logic is thrown out the window.

The Moon is all about visions and illusions, madness, genius and poetry. This is a card that has to do with sleep, and so with both dreams and nightmares. It is a scary card in that it warns that there might be hidden enemies, tricks and falsehoods. But it should also be remembered that this is a card of great creativity, of powerful magic, primal feelings and intuition. You may be going through a time of emotional and mental trial; if you have any past mental problems, you must be vigilant in taking your medication but avoid drugs or alcohol, as abuse of either will cause them irreparable damage. This time however, can also result in great creativity, psychic powers, visions and insight. You can and should trust your intuition.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

You are The Magician

Skill, wisdom, adaptation. Craft, cunning, depending on dignity.

Eleoquent and charismatic both verbally and in writing,
you are clever, witty, inventive and persuasive.

The Magician is the male power of creation, creation by willpower and desire. In that ancient sense, it is the ability to make things so just by speaking them aloud. Reflecting this is the fact that the Magician is represented by Mercury. He represents the gift of tongues, a smooth talker, a salesman. Also clever with the sleight of hand and a medicine man - either a real doctor or someone trying to sell you snake oil.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

guess why

Sunrays And Saturdays
Vertical Horizon

Open the window
Let the sunset in
If only for the last time
Let me see you smile again

I'll take my records
You can have your books
I'm sorry I never read them
But it says so much about us

Always trying
To make love out of care
The perfect recipe
But something wasn't there

Chorus:
Sunrays and Saturdays
Perfect starry nights
Sweet dreams and moonbeams
And a love that's warm and bright
Sunrays and Saturdays
Friendship strong and true
Oceans of blue and a room with a view
To live the life you choose

You'll write me letters
I'll call you on the phone
A wire away from touching
And never quite alone

We'll get to know ourselves again
And we'll heal our hearts
It's not that we're bad together
We're just better off apart

Always trying
To have one and one make two
And even though it never worked
I still feel love for you

rapt around your finger

something odd happened today. well, ok, it wasn't really *that* odd. but i just found it.. er.. amusing :p

ok. the thing is.. i think i (unwittingly) made quite a number of people knit their eyebrows in confusion today. hahahaha. see, it's kinda normal for me to have wandering eyes. yes. *wandering* eyes, haha. most of the time, i have difficulty keeping my eyeballs steady. they usually like to look around.. see what's happening.. even though i don't move my head so much (i think this is one of the reasons a lot of people think i'm mataray - eye-rolling is one nasty habit of mine, bwahahaha).

so i guess the moment people see me stare blankly into space, they get puzzled, haha. i suppose they're not used to my "thinking" eyes :p that usually occurs when i happen to have an interesting thought that i want to pursue (or imagine). my eyes just kinda stop roving.. and i can look at the person i'm talking to straight in the eye (or whatever body part i happen to be looking at nyahahaha) without actually "seeing" him/her. it's like turning reality into some kind of screensaver, while your thoughts/plans/visions/whatever take center stage.

what's funny, though, is that whenever reality blurs for me, that's usually the time when i'm more aware of it. hahaha. does that make sense?! when people think i'm not thinking, that's when i am!! nyahahaha.

i think i'm going to maximize the use of my rapt expression from now on.. hahahaha..

now if only this picture would reflect reality.. :p

aliens are not androids

yeah, i admit it. i *am* paranoid. VERY. hahahaha. but i guess that's no surprise. after all, i am a certified pessimist. paranoia is very much a part of my system.

however, i am not an android. and contrary to popular belief, i do have feelings. hahaha. i know what it means to get mad.. to be heartbroken.. to feel hurt. but hey. i also know how it feels to be happy.. to be hysterical with laughter.. to feel all gooey & gushy inside.. to be "in loooove" more importantly, i am able to feel RELIEF!!! bwahahahahahaha!!! =)

yup. i am *most definitely* not an android.. :p

ouch

today i got bitten. not once. not twice. but quite a number of times. and dammit, it *really* hurts. i got "carried away" too. literally. and sheesh.. that was even scarier than getting bitten.

this is one of those times when i'm *really* grateful i don't have a boyfriend. 'coz if i did, i don't think he'd believe that the bruises and the bite marks were all caused by an overly friendly alien vampire (who i think is in a "teething phase" at the moment).

only 1.5 months to go.. nyahahahahaha XP

stolen

this day was all about meetings, meetings and more meetings. hahaha. not that i mind. actually i'm *really* quite happy with this day.. except for the incident that occurred this afternoon to one of my students.

her digital camera was stolen. a brand new digicam.. barely a week old. ouch :( and though we tried our best to find the missing equipment, we just could not locate it. darn. i really would've wanted to catch the guy who stole it from her.

there seems to be a rise in stealing incidents lately. tsk tsk.

but not all stealing is bad. especially not in my case.. :)

patience is rewarded

wow. it's been some time. and all i can say is.. patience really is a virtue.. and it certainly has its rewards :)

tonight's worship (led by bro jun carlos) was really uplifting :) it's been a while since i've felt so light after a worship service. thanx, bro.. for the wonderful prayer. idol ka talaga, hahahaha.

anyway. i'm happy and smiling right now :D

i knew posting would do wonders, hahahahaha

it's always me

this is a picture of the rose i was supposed to take home from last weekend's prom. too bad i didn't even get this as a souvenir - somebody got it from our table, not knowing it was mine. tsk tsk.

sunday. i was sorting through some dresses at the mall and found one that i really, really liked. i was going to buy it already.. when i discovered that the strap was defective. and that was the last one in stock *sigh*

to sort of cheer me up a bit, i ate lunch with a friend of mine afterwards. but then, the pasta i wanted to order wasn't available. they didn't have the tea flavor i was asking for, either. great. so i settled for lasagna (which thankfully, tasted wonderful) instead. then, as we were about to pay, i realized i left my wallet in the car. hahaha. good thing i had just about enough cash to pay for lunch before leaving.

then yesterday, i had a sudden craving for (a certain brand of) burger. so i decided to call for delivery. i was already hungry then.. but i said, what the heck.. i can wait.. as long as i'd be eating what i really wanted. after 3/4 of an hour of waiting, i was so glad i could finally eat. until i opened the styro.. only to discover that the crew messed up! i ordered 2 big classic burgers with no onions and no cheese. what they delivered to me were two styros - one containing a bun with veggies (including onions & cheese); the other containing 3 burger patties. hahaha. that really sucked. i was so fed up with always being the unfortunate one.. so i called their hotline to complain. they apologized (as well, they should!) and sent me my order after another half hour of waiting. grrr. seems to me they should have just given me a refund for their lousy service. sheesh.

i wonder why things like this always happen to me.. :(

anyway. all this is just the tip of the iceberg. it's not just these little inconveniences that irk me. rather, it's how i usually seem to be the one who's taken for granted.. set aside.. ignored. hahaha. i'm not being "mopey" or "emo" - just stating a fact. if you place me in a crowded room and asked everybody to pair up, i'd most likely end up alone.. or the last one chosen, haha. it took some time for me to get used to this fact; but now i'm kinda ok with it and simply take it in stride. i don't know if i'm ever going to switch back to drama mode again (gaaah!! i certainly hope not!!).. but i really would like to exorcise all the emo-ish stuff in me, once and for all, bwahahaha.

and i guess it helps to answer the difficult "why" questions - mostly, the ones that are about my irrational behavior and stupid choices.. hahaha.

B(-/\r ____________.

B(-) y(-)u #/\v(- /\ny ayb(-/\ #(-)/\/\ cru(-l y(-)u /\r(- +(-) w\(-? W\/\ycl(-. W\/\ycl(- n(-)+. N(-)+ +#/\+ ay+ w\/\++(-r$, /\ny/\/\/\y. AY’ll n(-v(-r /\bw\ay+ +(-) y(-)u ju$+ #(-)/\/\ w\uc# y(-)u #ur+ w\(-. AY b(-)n’+ kn(-)/\/\ ayf y(-)u’r(- +#ay$ /\/\/\y /\/\ay+# +#(- (-)+#(-r$ ((-)# y(-$, AY’w\ /\lw\(-)$+ c(-r+/\ayn +#/\+ +#(-r(- /\r(- (-)+#(-r$). AY b(-)n’+ kn(-)/\/\ ayf y(-)u’r(- cru(-l +(-) +#(-w\, +(-)(-). CLu+ y(-)u kn(-)/\/\ $(-)w\(-+#ayng? AY #/\v(- /\ c(-)nf(-$$ay(-)n +(-) w\/\k(-...

AY $aync(-r(-ly #(-)p(- +#/\+ y(-)u’r(- n(-)+ /\$ w\(-/\n +(-) +#(-w\ /\$ y(-)u /\r(- +(-) w\(-.

CLu+ cl(-f(-)r(- y(-)u (-v(-n +#aynk +#/\+ AY’w\ cl(-ayng n(-)cll(- /\nb $(-lf-$/\crayfaycayng, l(-+ w\(- +(-ll y(-)u $(-)w\(-+#ayng. AY c(-)ulbn’+ c/\r(- l(-$$ ayf +#(-y g(-+ #ur+. AY b(-)n’+ gayv(- /\ b/\w\n /\cl(-)u+ +#(-ayr p/\ayn. W\/\ycl(- AY’b (-v(-n c(-l(-clr/\+(- +#(-ayr b(-w\ay$(-, #/\#/\. Y(-)u $(-(-, AY #/\v(- /\n(-)+#(-r c(-)nf(-$$ay(-)n…

/\/\#/\+ r(-/\lly w\/\++(-r$ +(-) w\(- ay$ +#/\+ y(-)u #ur+ w\(- w\(-)$+.

Y(-/\#, AY kn(-)/\/\. AY+ b(-)(-$ $(-)unb $ayck. (-v(-n +(-) w\(-. CLu+ ay+ ay$ quay+(- l(-)gayc/\l, y(-)u $(-(-.

AY l(-)v(- y(-)u. /\ l(-)+. /\nb y(-$, +#/\+ ay$ /\n unb(-r$+/\+(-w\(-n+. CLu+ AY kn(-)/\/\ y(-)u b(-)n’+ l(-)v(- w\(-. /\nb ay+’$ quay+(- (-)clvay(-)u$ cly +#(- /\/\/\y y(-)u k(-(-p y(-)ur bay$+/\nc(- +#/\+ y(-)u b(-)n’+ r(-/\lly (-v(-n layk(- w\(-. #(-ck, AY’w\ n(-)+ (-v(-n +#(- (-)n(- y(-)u */\/\/\n+* +#(- w\(-)$+. AY’w\ ju$+… /\/\(-ll… ju$+ /\n(-)+#(-r f/\c(- ayn +#(- cr(-)/\/\b f(-)r y(-)u. N(-)cl(-)by $p(-cay/\l. /\/\/\ay+, l(-+ w\(- r(-p#r/\$(- +#/\+. AY’w\ n(-)cl(-)by +(-) y(-)u.

$(-). AY c/\n’+ cl(- +#(- (-)n(- y(-)u l(-)v(- +#(- w\(-)$+… n(-)r +#(- (-)n(- y(-)u layk(- +#(- w\(-)$+… n(-)r +#(- (-)n(- y(-)u /\/\/\n+ +#(- w\(-)$+. /\/\(-ll, /\+ l(-/\$+ AY c/\n cl(- +#(- (-)n(- /\/\#(-) $uff(-r$ +#(- w\(-)$+ cl(-c/\u$(- (-)f y(-)u.

$(-) #ur+ w\(-. CLruay$(- w\(-. B(-) /\/\#/\+(-v(-r y(-)u /\/\/\n+. AY b(-)n’+ r(-/\lly c/\r(-. AY’v(- g(-)n(- cl(-y(-)nb +#(- p/\ayn$ y(-)u’v(- gayv(-n w\(-. AY c/\n n(-)/\/\ $w\ayl(-.

vampirish mode

hahaha. i'm in the *final level* of dracula's riddle.. and once again i find myself stuck :p hahaha. i spent the entire day with vampires today. and still, i'm happy. really happy. bwahahahaha..

i feel like i want to bite somebody. rawr :p

the day after the prom

(click here to link to the pictures)

talk about sleep deprivation.. hahahaha.

last night's prom wasn't so bad, really. i actually had fun moments - like the time i unexpectedly bumped into tommy (haven't seen you in a long while!).. the "people watching" hobby.. the sort-of-senti-but-not-quite phase.. and of course, those moments of snapping up pictures of unsuspecting people, haha.

still, i'd have to 'fess up. i wasn't really in the best of moods last night. in fact, i guess it's safe to say that i was morose and almost pissed off. *sigh* i don't want to elaborate too much on this; though NF already knows the reason for it. and still, today, i feel the after-effects of last night's fiasco.

so, to get everything out of my system, i'm just going to spill my guts out for the next couple of lines. you have been duly warned.

* * *

i+ 9lw9><$ #9pp3~$. 9lw9><$. j\_/$+ w#3~ i g3+ &>< #( )p3$ \_/p, ><( )\_/ ~3v3* f9il +( ) &9k3 +#i~g$ w( )*$3. ><( )\_/ 9*3 $( ) p*3dic+9bl3, ><( )\_/'*3 lik3 cl( )ckw( )*k. 9~d i'& $( ) d9&~3d i~ d3~i9l +#9+ i 9lw9><$ c( )~vi~c3 &><$3lf +#9+ +#i$ +i&3 +#i~g$ will b3 diff3*3~+. b\_/+ +#3>< ~3v3* 9*3. i$ d3c3~c>< +( )( ) &\_/c# +( ) 9$k ( )f ><( )\_/? i$ c( )&&( )~ c( )\_/*+3$>< $( )&3+#i~g +#9+'$ +( )( ) #9*d f( )* ><( )\_/ +( ) giv3 &3? #9v3 i ~( )+ b33~ 9 g( )( )d f*i3~d +( ) ><( )\_/ 9ll +#i$ +i&3? w#9+ +#3 #3ll did i d( ) +( ) d3$3*v3 $\_/c# +*39+&3~+ f*( )& ><( )\_/?! &9> )il3d ><( )\_/ +( )( ) &\_/c# - i$ +#9+ i+? #9v3 ><( )\_/ g( )++3~ $( ) c( )ck>< +#9+ ><( )\_/ +#i~k i c9~'+ 3v3* *3f\_/$3 ><( )\_/ 9~><+#i~g? w3ll, g\_/3$$ 9g9i~. 'c( )z f*( )& ~( )w ( )~, i'& p\_/++i~g &>< style=""> )( )+ d( )w~. if ><( )\_/ +#i~k ><( )\_/'v3 g( )+ &3 w*9pp3d 9*( )\_/~d ><( )\_/* fi~g3*, ><( )\_/'d b3++3* +#i~k 9g9i~.

i _ _ _ _ ><( )\_/.

technological wonder

haha. another xkcd post :p

this strip reminds me of a couple of alien friends. bwahahaha. i'm thinking they're the types who would say these kinds of things out loud without batting an eyelash bwahahaha.

yep. the female body sure is a "technological wonder" :)

then again.. the human female can't multiply on its own, bwahahaha!!!

tsk tsk. thank goodness i'm not 100% human. i can propagate through my spores, bwahaha..

not your friend

ha. sappy. really sappy. i'm not into this *friendship* thing right now.

another day of "no classes" for me. this morning, i was with my acacia "kids" to a science career trip to UP's EEE building. hahaha. it was.. uhm.. sort of fun, i guess. i like the engineering buildings. and looking at the labs was kinda cool, too. especially the lab with the sounds, hehehe :)

after the "field trip" we went back to upis. some of the aliens trooped to wyjel where we had lunch :p hahaha. this is getting to be a habit. hahaha. oh well. only a few more weeks of this.. :p

hmm. so many things happened today. literally. *sigh* auuuuggggh. i'm so confused. i hate my brain.

be sure to click on this link, hahahahaha.

(b)rainy day

bwahahaha. it's day #2 of science & math week: mathuwa at magsciya. this morning, we had the high school pautakan contests (held at the multipurpose hall). i had lots of fun taking pictures.. and i enjoyed being the quizmaster too :p

anyway.. it's been a tiring day. i didn't really teach any class today.. but still i find myself sooooooo exhausted. guess it's the sleep deprivation for the past weeks, coupled with a lot of stressors (i can name two of them right now).

oh well.. it's time to hit the sack now. though to tell the truth, i'd rather hit something else.. hahahaha

that P word

i don't think i can honestly say this guy's priorities are all wrong. after all, i do act like this guy, sometimes hahahaha :p

i'm not the right person to talk to when it comes to priorities in life..

disjointed

" i have stood here before inside the pouring rain / with the world turning circles running 'round my brain / i guess i'm always hoping that you'll end this reign / but it's my destiny to be the queen of pain"

yesterday a friend told me that the best way to stop being in love with somebody is to learn to hate that person. i told her i'd have to disagree. ever heard of the expression "the more you hate, the more you love?" haha. there's much more than a grain of truth to it, i believe.

love and hate. they're really not opposing emotions. after all, you cannot hate somebody you don't care enough about. it is not possible to feel so strongly against someone if that person did not matter enough for you to form such a strong opinion about him/her. so i think, in a way, hatred is reserved only for *special* people. much the way love is.

so i told my friend that you can tell that you've fallen out of love for somebody if you are able to be indifferent towards him/her. to honestly *not care* what happens to the person. to not be affected by his/her presence. to not notice whether he/she is in the room or not. *that* i think, is proof enough that you've gotten over the person. but until such time that you cannot honestly say that you're able to do these things.. sorry.. you're still in love.

now, how to be indifferent is another matter. and unfortunately, i don't know how that is achieved..

* * *

ok. time for a hypothetical situation..

suppose you're walking home at night and all of a sudden, you realize that you're being followed by two monsters - a vampire and a werewolf. you know they're both out to get you. and you also know that given your current state of mind and health, you cannot outrun them nor escape them. not without any outside help, that is.

the monsters are going to hurt you, for sure. but they will do this in two very different ways. the vampire will slowly suck out your blood. you won't feel much pain.. in fact, you probably won't feel anything at all. but after all your blood has been drained, you will start to feel intense pain. indescribable agony. and then, after a few minutes of sheer torture, you will become a vampire yourself.. forever thirsty for blood.

the werewolf, on the other hand, is a being of torture. it is going to make sure you feel every single bite and scratch and slash that it inflicts. it will break your bones, rip out your eyes, crush your fingers and tear out your guts. but it will make sure that you are alive in the end. it will not turn you into a werewolf.. and your wounds will heal.. but it may take years before you are back to your normal self. physically, that is.

now, vampires and werewolves have been enemies for the longest time. if the vampire gets you first, the werewolf will leave, and vice versa.

so the question is: which monster would you approach?

* * *

is there beauty in pain? maybe a normal person would answer "none".. but then again, if there's nothing beautiful about it, how come there are so many songs.. so many poems and stories about it? what's so.. "enchanting" about pain that everyone seems er.. "mesmerized" by it?

and i'm caught wondering if masochists really are the ones who are mentally ill..

* * *

this is the reason why i do not like the month of february.

seriously :)

this is my favorite (weird) cousin dom's latest blog entry.
i totally got a kick out of reading it. hahahahaha.
check it out :p

*this entry is especially dedicated to my alien friends. really. check it out :) i have a feeling you will get along *very well* with my cousin. hahaha. he's an alien too, in case you don't know hahaha :D

star.fish

contrary to popular belief, i'm not the star. at least, not in *this* drawing :p

this day sure is weird. in a not-so-good way, if i may add :( *sigh* i woke up quite early - i think around 6am. but i ached all over.. and i had a really hard time getting out of bed.. so i slept some more. and some more. until i woke up at around 11am. yikes! and my class was supposed to start at 1pm. hahaha.

well, i hurriedly took a bath, brushed my teeth, dressed up and drove to school. hahaha. i was still feeling out of sorts when i got there. but i felt *a bit* happy coz i got to do nf a favor. haha.

i think my classes went well - considering the fact that i was soooooo lost. yeah. i breezed through geom and calc today. and i'm grateful for my markers of many colors (6, to be exact) - they certainly helped to liven up my whiteboard, haha.

after class i got to chat with friend diane. wow. what can i say? i'm.. er.. *speechless* yet again.

at any rate.. back to the drawing. like i said.. i'm *not* the star. i'm the fish, hahaha.

which brings me to this question that i've been meaning to ask for a long, long, long time:
can fish ever drown? coz for some weird reason, i think that they can.. *sigh*

find your luck

i had a *reasonably* fun day today. first of all, well.. ok, i won't write down the main reason here. i think i'll keep that thought a secret.. and any clue i could think of would be a dead giveaway, haha. so. on to my next reason. this day is fun 'coz i got to hang out with soulmate (after what seemed like ages to me, haha). i just hope i wasn't a great bother to her and bf (sorry 'bout that - i just *had* to hang out with you - even if i became wheel #3 hehe) :p we walked around the mall - and at one point, even took a look at some four-leaf clover jewelry designs. cool :p

reason 3 involves some "bonding time" with cousin almi & her bf allan (wtf?! i just realized i've been hanging out with couples the entire day. what the hell is wrong with me..?!?!). i certainly enjoyed playing a round (and a half) of tong-its haha.

reason 4 has something to do with my "new friend" (lol) - who, from now on, i will call nf :p i guess he finally got some load so he was able to text me. i'm really grateful for that.. 'coz it helped to pass the time away (spending practically the entire day in megamall can be pretty boring - especially if you've been hanging out there at least twice a week for the past 12 years of your life).

anyway. the "fun" dissipated when somebody stole my mom's wallet while we were window shopping at a store in megamall. one moment, she had her wallet in hand.. looking over some clothes on sale.. and the next thing she knew, she wasn't holding on to anything anymore. she had at least 5k there; and what made things worse was that all her id's were in her wallet too.. along with her credit card, some bank cards, etc. we went home understandably feeling quite glum afterwards..

then at 8.30pm, somebody from megamall called the house. the lady said that they found my mom's wallet at the megamall basement - the cash was gone, but all her id's and other stuff was there. mom was *really* happy - after all, her id's, cards and other what-nots were what mattered most to her :p

so i guess that's my reason 5 for declaring this a "fun" day :) i suppose that phone call just proved that "luck" is still with us.. though i think the more appropriate term would be "blessing" :D

hmm. i'm really glad i have this list today. i could certainly use the cheer-upper at this point. *sigh* i don't know if my luck is going to hold in the next few days.. weeks.. etc. all i know is that i will continue to actively seek out four-leaf clovers. always. and i'll be keeping my fingers crossed the entire time..

ps: i found the four-leaf clover in the picture in less than a minute.
would that i would *always* be as lucky everytime..

the 14th

ummm.

i was listening to the radio this afternoon and heard avril lavigne singing her heart out (acoustically?!?) - "it's not supposed to feel this way.. i need you, i need you more than words can say.." - hahaha. that was certainly weird.

anyway, it's too bad i didn't get the chance to talk to friend carlito today. i would've wanted to chat more with him. oh well.. maybe next time..

i'm glad mom's appointment this morning went quickly. that gave me more than enough time to go to my tutorial session in the afternoon :) an hour's worth of lesson, admittedly, isn't enough.. but it's worth it (especially when i get a free starbucks drink, yay!! :p)

i'm kinda tired right now.. probably due to some (irrational) stress hahaha. (i am dreading march 5th, seriously :( i just hope i won't mess up then..) or then again, maybe this is a (long-delayed) after-effect of feb14, nyahaha. up to now, i haven't really celebrated anything valentine-y haha. maybe i can talk the folks into having a nice dinner out tonight. bwahaha. some date.. :p

follow the instructions

in keeping with the current vampiric mode that i am in.. here's my post for the day.

it's a little past 7pm and i'm here at home. on a friday. yup. i did not attend choir prax today.. much as i wanted to. *sigh* but that's ok. i'm fine with it now. it's not as bad as i thought it would be.

anyway. i can't wait for monday.. i think. or maybe i'm impatient for tomorrow. yeah. i think i'm wishing for saturday - except that i'm not really sure if i am wishing for it. hahahaha. i'm not making sense to anyone else but me.

i am in desperate need of a bite. darnit. how come i'm such a bad bait..?!?! hahahahahahaha. rawr.