breathless

No Air
Jordin Sparks

Tell me how I'm supposed to breathe with no air

If I should die before I wake
It's 'cause you took my breath away
Losing you is like living in a world with no air

I'm here alone, didn't wanna leave
My heart won't move, it's incomplete
If there was a way that I can make you understand

But how do you expect me
to live alone with just me
'Cause my world revolves around you
It's so hard for me to breathe

[Chorus]
Tell me how I'm supposed to breathe with no air
Can't live, can't breathe with no air
It's how I feel whenever you ain't there
It's no air, no air
Got me out here in the water so deep
Tell me how you gon' be without me
If you ain't here, I just can't breathe
It's no air, no air

No air, air... No air, air
No air, air... No air, air

I walked, I ran, I jumped, I flew
Right off the ground to float to you
There's no gravity to hold me down for real

But somehow I'm still alive inside
You took my breath, but I survived
I don't know how, but I don't even care

But how do you expect me
to live alone with just me
'Cause my world revolves around you
It's so hard for me to breathe

[Chorus]
Tell me how I'm supposed to breathe with no air
Can't live, can't breathe with no air
It's how I feel whenever you ain't there
It's no air, no air
Got me out here in the water so deep
Tell me how you gon' be without me
If you ain't here, I just can't breathe
It's no air, no air

No air, air... No air, air
No air, air... No air, air
No more
It's no air, no air

[Chorus]
Tell me how I'm supposed to breathe with no air
Can't live, can't breathe with no air
It's how I feel whenever you ain't there
It's no air, no air
Got me out here in the water so deep
Tell me how you gon' be without me
If you ain't here, I just can't breathe
It's no air, no air

[Chorus]
Tell me how I'm supposed to breathe with no air
Can't live, can't breathe with no air
It's how I feel whenever you ain't there
It's no air, no air
Got me out here in the water so deep
Tell me how you gon' be without me
If you ain't here, I just can't breathe
It's no air, no air

No air, air... No air, air
No air, air... No air, air

you just have to wonder about this songpost huh..? *sigh*

just a fantasy

it's weird how i seem to have a preference for "unreal" characters (or at least, those that cannot be seen in real life). take, for example, the fact that my favorite animal is a dragon (one of my pets). or that i've always wanted to ride a unicorn (or, alternatively, a centaur - though i heard centaurs take offense at that). i have an imaginary pet phoenix (whom i rarely spend time with - she's always bursting into flames and dying). oh.. and yes.. i happen to love fairies. wish i were one of them too hahaha

if i were one of them fairies.. and if i could choose the way i looked.. i'd be like the one in this picture. kinda fits my personality, don't you think..?!

burn the world

xkcd's strip today is really so appropriate, wahahahaha XP

the (not always) healthy alternative

i'm not usually fond of sandwiches.. but i guess after last night's dinner with heids & lils, i developed a craving for roasters sandwiches (hey, this is *not* a plug for the restaurant ok? hahaha)

well, i guess it's a healthier alternative to fast food burgers. and the sandwiches they have there are far tastier than the ones you usually get at other stores. they're reasonably priced too (ok, the philly steak sandwich is kinda expensive.. but still worth it, i say).

nevertheless, i say that sandwiches aren't really as good for the health as claimed. *sigh* i seriously need to stop being so paranoid..

wasted time

i'm an expert at 'wasting.' which is not to say i'm always 'wasted' (though frankly i think i usually act that way hahaha). but i really am quite wasteful.. and i'm not proud of it XP i'm known for being quite er.. liberal with my finances. but i guess i am best at wasting time. mine and others' hahahaha XP

i didn't really waste my time this entire morning. i spent it at school.. in a meeting.. no, TWO meetings. straight from 9am to 3.30pm. hmm. not bad. maybe i will get used to this department head thing hahaha XP the tradeoff for this day's meetings sucks, though. darn it.. X(

anyway, i was lucky enough to be able to hitch with heids to prax this afternoon. haha. at least i got to save on energy (and gasoline!! damn, those prices just keep skyrocketing!). and on the way home, we dropped by roasters katipunan for dinner. yummy food (sandwiches, salads, etc!) they have there hahaha.

*sigh* i find myself wishing for rain again..

hoping to go up

i thought i'd be staying home all week this week. but to my surprise, i got a text message from mam rory this morning - something to do with filling up forms for promotion. asap. hmm. so much for my "all day stay at home" plans haha.

so i went to school to get those forms from the office. i haven't filled them up yet.. but i spent a couple of hours retyping the form and sending them to some of the teachers who could not get the forms from school. talk about a nice way to spend the day, huh?

oh.. a funny thing happened today. a couple of aliens gatecrashed my house this afternoon. hahaha. too bad their plan was foiled (again!) tsk tsk. seems we're not fated to meet yet, guys. don't worry. school's about to start soon. and then you'll get so sick and tired of seeing me everyday, wahahaha.

now i'm busy finishing the newsletter (again?!).. and i have yet to fill up the front page - which for me, is always the most difficult part :( i don't have any article written yet either. *sigh* oh well. maybe i wouldn't have to write anything. i think friend g's going to submit her reflection tomorrow morning. let's hope she does.. hehehe XP

i'm bushed. *yawn* i need to remember my dark chocolate tomorrow hahahaha. it's not just a good source of endorphins.. it's also healthy!!! bwahahahaha. ok, ok.. enough of this. i have to go rest now to prepare for another looooong day tomorrow.. XP

yeah right XP

haha.. i tried this one out just to see what would come up. anyway.. go figure XP

What Rox Means

You are wild, crazy, and a huge rebel. You're always up to something. You have a ton of energy, and most people can't handle you. You're very intense. You definitely are a handful, and you're likely to get in trouble. But your kind of trouble is a lot of fun. You are well rounded, with a complete perspective on life. You are solid and dependable. You are loyal, and people can count on you. At times, you can be a bit too serious. You tend to put too much pressure on yourself. You are incredibly sexy and sensual. You have a naughty vibe that no one can ignore. You have an unquenchable desire. And you are unrestrained in your passions. You have a tendency to be unfaithful. Whether you fight it or give in to it is up to you.

What's Your Name's Hidden Meaning?

Your Thinking is Concrete and Sequential

You are precise, orderly, and realistic. You tend to get to the point and get things done. Difficult, detailed work is easy for you. You take things step by step. Time limits aren't a problem for you either. You work well with deadlines. What does drive you crazy is any sort of task that isn't precisely laid out. You don't like anything to be ambiguous. You prefer to deal with the facts at hand.

What Kind of Thinker Are You?

just enough greenery

i was surprised to receive several green-wrapped packages from sis caroll after the mass this morning. she gave me some 'souvenirs'.. all of which were really nicely presented and quite creative :) there's this book inside a small wooden box. there's also a green 'soft box' that contained sweets inside. and also, a personalized cologne inside a green bag (not in picture - the bag's lace was blue, hehehe) cool. really cool.

if i were to ever get married, i'd probably consider these as giveaway items, as they're really unique. but since i do not intend to ever marry, maybe i'd just use these as souvenirs for.. er.. i dunno.. my 40th bday?! hahahaha XP

i'm here at the food court of sm megamall right now. and thankfully i brought joe black along. haha. he usually saves me from boredom. too bad there isn't any wi-fi signal here (so i have to use my phone).. and no outlets either, so i don't know how long this battery will last.

anyway. i'm happy today. sort of XD hahaha. maybe the feeling will last. *smile*

looking for teddy

this has been an 'active' saturday for me. unusually so.. haha
i was supposed to sing at the post LSS module this afternoon at st paul. our group was assigned to serve there at 1pm. anyway, i started driving to makati by 12nn. i figured i'd have lots of time to spare. saturday traffic is usually light, after all.

i didn't count on friend lilian being late, though. she wasn't able to leave her seminar earlier.. so i found myself stuck in shaw traffic at 12.50pm. no way i'd make it to st paul by 1pm. so i decided to just head back home. sayang lang ang gasolina ko kung tumuloy pa ako. after all, we'd be singing for only what.. 5mins?! i'd definitely not make it on time X(

anyway. i asked mom & dad if they wanted to watch a movie again. after all, there's only about a week's worth of summer vacation left. i might as well make the most out of it, haha. i wanted to watch indiana jones (i *really* like harrison ford, hahaha) - so i bought tickets at gateway on my way home.

so we watched the movie (we took the 7.10pm sked) as soon as the house chores were done (yes, it IS a saturday - weekends are for laundry and other stuff, hahaha). we thoroughly enjoyed the time in the theater (i know i did hahaha). i'm glad i went to the movies again - though maybe for a slightly different reason XP

frankly though, at this time, i need a hug. oh.. nothing grandiose or flashy. just a soft, warm hug. somebody to cuddle up to. hahahaha. NO i still have no plans of getting a 'special someone' in my life. i don't need that right now. but i do want a hug. really. *sigh*

e-mode

emo time, hahahaha XP

er. wow. look at the time. hahaha. well, as usual, i can't sleep. maybe it's the caffeine (hello starbux coffee.. nyahahaha). maybe it's all the buZZZing inside my head. maybe it's the crime show that's on tv right now. or maybe it's just my insomnia acting up again. whatever the reason, well, i'm still up. wide awake and desperate for sleep.

so. it's usually at this time of day (night?!) that in spite of myself, i experience my 'emo' side hahahaha. i can't help it, darnit. i don't even know what the heck there is to be all emo about. *sigh* i'm not really sad. and i'm not despairing or anything. and if ever i wear black, it's not because i plan to be dramatic or goth-like. i just happen to love the (non) color XP besides, black makes me look slimmer, bwahahaha.

oh well. i guess i'll just make the most out of the next couple of hours of wakefulness.. *sigh*

wish you were here..

wyjel makes it rain

hahahaha. today i just proved it yet again: wyjel makes it rain XP

or rather, *having wyjel washed* during summer causes it to rain, hahaha. it never fails. every time i bring her to the car wash across the street.. no matter how sunny or hot the weather is in the morning, as soon as she's washed, it starts raining. *bigtime* hahaha

tsk tsk. seems my car has inherited my rainwishing powers, bwahahaha *evil grin*

maybe i ought to have her washed as often as i can.. hehehe

wanted: endorphins

i really don't know what to write about today. guess my mind's simply blank right now. *sigh*

well, this day certainly was a bit unusual. both mom and dad stayed home the whole day. they were (literally) "home sick" haha XP mom stilll has a bad case of the colds.. and dad had an upset stomach so he didn't report for work. as for me.. i spent the afternoon lecturing at the unidev project in nismed (right after i ordered max's delivery for lunch - haha, i don't know how to cook hehehe).

i got home before 6pm.. then tutored cousin gabo for his math homework. and that's pretty much what happened to my day. and now i find myself with joe black (my current best bud) again.. updating this blog and trying to sort out stuff in my mind. *sigh*

nothing unpleasant happened today.. but i couldn't think of any particularly pleasant event either. and at the moment i am seriously i need of endorphins. makes me wish i had a steady supply of chocolate.. or.. *sigh* i dunno..

oh crud. somebody please make me smile.. XP

still stressing

talk about a hair-pulling day. *sigh*

i served as "driver" to my mom this afternoon. i brought her to her regular checkup with the doctor at NKI. her appointment was supposed to be for 2pm.. but the doctor was late, so we waited a couple of hours at the clinic. i think, in all, we were out waiting for more than three hours. sheesh. good thing i brought along my copy of wicked - though really, the book was starting to bore me by then.

i didn't realize how much waiting and being out of schedule still stresses me out. i was really doing my best to control my bitchiness on our way back home from the doc. heck, i could barely control my irritation while driving, hahaha. oh well..

i dropped mom off at home (and picked dad up coz we were really in a hurry by then).. then drove to megamall for the prayer meeting. dad and i got there around 6.20pm. and i.. well.. i was stressed just a wee bit further by the fact that i was supposed to buy something.. drop it off somewhere.. feed myself.. freshen up and be at the venue before 7pm. hahaha. wow. by the time the prayer meeting started, i had a bad headache (with matching dizziness once again) and cramps. not to mention something like hot flashes.. hahaha. darnit. i'm too young to even be experiencing menopausal symptoms, nyahahaha XP

and now that i am home, i'm still hung over from all that stressing. even after that warm bath and relaxing with my favorite show (csi, what else?!?). hmm. should i blame it on the (lack of) rain?! or maybe it's the perennial sleep deprivation. or perhaps it's the teacher training thing tomorrow that i'm fretting about. or the financial report i've yet to finish.

or then again, maybe it's just that time of the month.. hahaha.

i miss you. *very much*

poofed

i don't really know why.. but for some reason, i feel sooooooooo darned tired today :(

it's not a hectic day at all. i woke up at 6.30am to get ready for the unidev lecture at 8am. then i found out that the venue would not be at issi but at nismed. *sigh* so i drove there.. only to find out that the room i was supposed to lecture in did not have a/c, had a dirty whiteboard and had no lcd projector. great start to a day.

well, things turned out ok, eventually. i managed to deliver the lecture without letting my irritation show. then i had a nice lunch date with eya & jean (hey, i missed you dudes!!! we should have lunch more often :p) at chockiss (should've been mcdo katips.. but the place was literally packed with people. ugh. claustro)

i got home before 3pm.. but by the time i arrived, the heat got to me and i was already feeling dizzy and seriously whacked. so i decided to skip choir prax tonight. hahaha.

so. i'll soon be working on the newsletter. after i rest. i need some. seriously. darnit. i'm too tired to even start work on my articles. hahaha. this is turning into one of those weekly dreaded things. *sigh*

or maybe it's just hormones.. XP

an open letter

dear zee,

i don't really know how to tell you this, but our romance/affair is over. i think i realized it when when we skinny dipped in your closet then carved your initials into my best friend.

i'm sure you're open enough to understand how boring you are. i'm returning our pictures from LA to you, but i'll keep your left ear as a memory.

you should also know that i always will try to forget our friendship.

greetings to your freaky family,

kel
------------

Dear (person who last texted u),

I don't really know how to tell you this, but (1). I think I realized it (2) (3) and (4) (5).

I'm sure you're (6) enough to understand (7).

I'm returning our (8) to you, but I'll keep (9) as a memory.

You should also know that I (10) (11).

(12),

(your name)

1. What's the color of your shirt?

Blue - Our romance is over
Red - Our affair is over
White - I'll join the monastery
Black - I dislike you
Green - Our horoscope doesn't match
Grey - You're a pervert
Yellow - I'm selling myself
Pink - Your nostrils are insulting
Brown - The mafia wants you
No shirt - You're a loser
Other - I'm in love with your sister

2. Which is your birth month?

January - That night
February - Last year
March - When your dwarf bit me
April - When I tripped on sesame seeds
May - First of May
June - When you put cuffs on me
July - When I threw up
August - When I saw the shrunken head
September - When we skinny dipped
October - When I quoted Santa
November - When your dog ran amok
December - When I changed tennis shoes

3. Which food do you prefer?
Tacos - In your apartment
Pizza - In your camping car
Pasta - Outside of Chicago
Hamburgers - Under the bus
Salad - As you ate enchilada
Chicken - In your closet
Kebab - With Paris Hilton
Fish - In women's clothing
Sandwiches - At the Hare Krishna graduation
Lasagna - At the mental hospital
Hot dog - Under a state of trance
Annat - With George Bush and his wife

4. What's the color of your socks?

Yellow - Hit on
Red - Insulted
Black - Ignored
Blue - Knocked out
Purple - Poured syrup on
White - Carved your initials into
Grey - Pulled the clothes off
Brown - Put leeches on

Orange - Castrated
Pink - Pulled the toupee off
Barefoot - Sat at
Other - Drive out

5. What's the color of your underwear?
Black - My best friend
White - My father
Grey - Bill Clinton
Brown - My fart balloon
Purple - My mustard soufflé
Red - Donald Duck
Blue - My avocado plant
Yellow - My penpal in Ghana
Orange - My Kid Rock-collection
Pink - Manchester United's goalkeeper
None - My John F. Kennedy-statue
Other - The crazy monk

6. What do you prefer to watch on TV?
Scrubs - Man
O.C. - Emotional
One Tree Hill - Open
Heroes -Frostbitten
Lost - High
House -Scarred
Simpsons - Cowardly
The news - Mongolic
Idol - Masochistic
Family Guy - Senile
Top Model - Middle-class
Annat - Ashamed

7. Your mood right now?
Happy - How awful I've felt
Sad - How boring you are
Bored - That Santa doesn't exist
Angry - That your pimples are at the last stage
Depressed - That we're cousins
Excited - That there is no solution to this.
Nervous - The middle-east
Worried - That your Honda sucks
Apathetic - That I did a sex-change
Ashamed - That I'm allergic to your hamster
Cuddly - That I get turned on by garbage men
Overjoyous - That I'm open
Other - That Extreme Home Makeover sucks

8. What's the color of your walls in your bedroom?
White - Your ring
Yellow - Your love letters
Red - Your Darth Vader-poster
Black - Your tame stone
Blue - The couch cushions
Green - The pictures from LA
Orange - Your false teeth
Brown - Your contact book
Grey - Our matching snoopy-bibs
Purple - Your old lottery coupons
Pink - The cut toenails
Other - Your memories from the military service

9. The first letter of your first name?
A/B - Your photo
C/D - The oil stocks
E/F - Your neighbour Martin
G/H - My virginity
I/J - The results of blood-sample
K/L - Your left ear
M/N - Your suicide note
O/P - My common sense
Q/R - Your mom
S/T - Your collection of butterflies
U/V - Your criminal record
W/X - David's tricot outfits
Y/Z - Your grades from college

10. The last letter in your last name?
A/B - Always will remember
C/D - Never will forget
E/F - Always wanted to break
G/H - Never openly mocked
I/J - Always have felt dirty before
K/L - Will tell the authorities about
M/N - Told in my confession today about
O/P - Was interviewed by the Times about
Q/R - Told my psychiatrist about
S/T - Get sick when I think of
U/V - Always will try to forget
W/X - Am better off without
Y/Z - Never liked

11. What do you prefer to drink?
Water- Our friendship
Beer - Senility
Soft drink - A new life as a clone
Soda - The incarnation as an eskimo
Milk - The apartment building
Wine - Cocaine abuse
Cider - A passionate interest for mice
Juice - Oprah Winfrey imitations
Mineral water - Embarrassing rash
Hot chocolate - Eggplant-fetishism
Whisky - To ruin the second world war
Other - To hate the Boston Celtics

12. To which country would you prefer to go on a vacation?
Thailand - Warm regards
USA - Best regards
England - Good luck on your short-term leave from jail
Spain - Go and drown yourself
China - Disgusting regards
Germany - With ease
Japan - Go burn
Greece - Your everlasting enemy
Australia - Greetings to your frog Leonard
Egypt - Fuck off now
France - In pain
Other - Greetings to your freaky family

missing you

i'm getting used to it. but really.. it's sort of getting on my nerves hahaha.

why is it that everyone seems to be focusing on my (lack of) lovelife?!

okay. i just want to make myself clear.. in case you guys missed it last time: i have already decided (some time last month?!) that i do *not* plan to get married. ever. got it!?! no plans of walking down the effing aisle. no plans of settling down and having my own family.

and in case i haven't made myself clear yet, let me just emphasize something: not only do i not have plans of getting married; i am *strongly* opposed to the thought of marriage. okay?! got it?!

that being said.. i have no plans of getting myself a boyfriend. i am not looking for a romantic partner. what's the point.. when i am opposed to the idea of getting into a serious, deeper relationship?!

so. stop finding partners for me, ok?! seriously XP

The Sudden Departure

Random Brutal Love Master (RBLM)

Sweet. Dear. Loving. At Gate 18. Final call. You are The Sudden Departure.

You've been in a lot of serious relationships. More than a few have ended ugly. Uglily. Whatever. Our guess is that you're a really fantastic girl who doesn't really know what she wants, and you've broken a few hearts as a result. You fall for people easily, and you enjoy the feeling of falling in love, but once you're there, either boredom or the old "grass is greener" syndrome sets in. The mind wanders, and with it goes the flesh. And then the toiletries.

We know you're not the classic "love 'em and leave 'em" type, at least not in a purely sexual sense. You have too many serious bonding tendencies for that. But even though you're theoretically looking to settle down, you don't settle long on one person. "Serial monogamist" is probably something you hear a lot. "Emotionally loose" is another way to put it. To the poor guys eating your dust and sniffing your panties, it doesn't really make much difference. Of course, it's not really your fault that people get hurt. You have every right to move on when you choose.

Your exact female opposite:

The Intern

Deliberate Gentle Sex Dreamer

Always avoid: The Backrubber (DGSD), The Gentleman (DGLM)

Consider: The Vapor Trail (RBLM), someone just like you

daydreaming in math class

at the moment, i am giving a math exam to *four* students. it's an exam in trigonometry - sine/cosine laws and complex numbers. and judging from the looks of my students' faces, i think the exam is the stuff nightmares are made of, wahahahaha XP

proctoring is a boring job.. so here i am.. updating again, haha. i'm also watching out for signs of cheating.. texting announcements.. thinking of bonus problems to give.. and of course, daydreaming, hahaha XP

i hope it rains again later. actually, i am hoping that the rains will continue on for the next months. until my birthday, at least.. and possibly the whole year hahaha. ang saya kaya kapag ganitong kulimlim ang langit.

parang nakikiramay sa hirap ng mga estudyanteng kumukuha ng test sa matematika XP

smiles rain down

this day is uber happy hahahaha. but it didn't really start out that way..

after my usual morning commitment (yay, last day na!!! hahaha XP), i went to UP to meet up with the folks at chocolate kiss :) mmmm... the burger was *really* yummy!! and it was fun to just spend some time dining out with my parents.. while watching the rain through the window. hahaha. mababaw kaligayahan ko.. basta may ulan, ayos na XP

i was thinking of skipping choir prax tonight (coz i didn't feel like driving all the way to makati); but friend heids texted me and told me i could hitch with her. oh well..

we left house quite late (as is usually the case with heids, haha).. got stuck in traffic.. and got to st paul around 7.30pm. only to find out that choir prax will only be 'til 8pm (as opposed to 9pm) coz most of the members were singing at a wake somewhere in muntinlupa. wow. i was kinda bummed by then - imagine, we went all the way to makati just to stay there for 30 mins?! wtf?!!

on our way from choir prax, friends rain, eva, hilda and ran hitched with us. then, probably out of sheer boredom (or it must be the rain, hahaha), we all decided to have dinner at superbowl jupiter street. so off we went.. going through nearly flooded streets, with ran driving.. and heids and me sharing the front passenger seat (that's a really hilarious picture, wahahaha).. on to dinner.. and looking forward to eating suckling pig hahaha.

when we got to the restaurant, though, we found out that they no longer served suckling pig. nor roast duck. and the food we wanted to order (cuttlefish.. shrimp.. bbq combo..) were all out of stock. hahahaha. wow. somebody sure was a jinx XP anyway, after several looooong minutes of arguing over what to order, we finally came to an agreement and settled for beef with broccoli, szechuan chicken, honey glazed pork, steamed fish with garlic and yang chow rice :)

the food was good - though not really what we were hoping for. service wasn't. the waiters were really slow and sort of inattentive. they were only prompt in serving us the bill. sheesh. good thing we were all having lots of laughs. thanx mostly to ran's wacky (green) jokes and the combined craziness of rain & eva hahaha XP oh well. what can i say?! these people are not normal bwahaha.

so now i'm tired and sleepy. but mostly happy. hahaha..

the rains sure came at the perfect time today :D

one way on a (supposedly) two way street

ever wondered how one way mirrors work? (sometimes, one way mirrors are actually called 'two way' mirrors. haha. weird. go figure) well, according to this article that i read, there's really no such thing as a totally one-way mirror. this from wikipedia:

A two-way mirror, also sometimes referred to as a one-way mirror or one-way glass, reflects some percentage of the light and lets some other percentage pass. It is a sheet of glass coated with a layer of metal only a few dozen atoms thick, allowing some of the light through the surface (from both sides). It is used between a dark room and a brightly lit room. People on the brightly lit side see their own reflection — it looks like a normal mirror. People on the dark side see through it — it looks like a transparent window. It may be used to observe criminal suspects or customers. The same type of mirror, when used in an optical instrument, is called a half-silvered mirror or beam splitter. Its purpose is to split a beam of light so that half passes straight through, while the other half is reflected — this is useful for interferometry. The reality television program Big Brother makes extensive use of two-way mirrors throughout its set to allow cameramen in special black hallways to use movable cameras to videotape contestants without their coming in contact with the workers.

Contrary to popular belief, passive one-way mirrors that operate directionally between equally lit rooms do not exist. The laws of physics do not allow for real, passive one-way mirrors or windows (ones that do not need external energy); if such a device were possible, one could break the second law of thermodynamics and make energy flow from a cold object to a hot one, by placing such a mirror between them. One-way windows can be made to work with polarized light, however, without violating the second law.

er. right. hahaha. anyway, isn't it odd how much trust we put in our senses? we think that what we see is real.. what we hear is true.. what we feel is unquestionable. more often than not, though, reality is best described not by our senses, but by (sometimes) incomprehensible laws - of nature, of science, of god.

take, for example, the reciprocity of giving. logic would dictate that too much generosity is bound to make one broke. the truly giving person, of course, feels that dent in his budget each time he helps someone financially or offers tithes to the church. but the old saying is true.. it is better to give than to receive because by experience, really.. you reap what you sow. and it is true - generosity begets generosity.

at least, it should.

but i think my being alien causes me to *not* follow the laws of this world. so what normally applies to people does not apply to me, in general.

one way on a supposedly two way street. yeah, i know. it sucks. big time. but such is life. for me, that is. my every (half)silver lining has a cloud..

in spite of all

i don't know if it's the stress.. the lack of sleep.. the hectic sked.. or just the plain series of unfortunate events that happened today.. but i very nearly blew my top this afternoon X( *sigh*

i wasn't exactly a picture of sunshine when i went to the prayer meeting tonight. i was *bitchy* to say the least. and i felt like snapping at everyone just out of sheer spite. rawr.

but the worship tonight was good. and it certainly gave me a much needed boost of spirits. so i'm ok now. sort of.

in spite of it all. haha. who'd have thought.. XP

shhhh

is there a secret to happiness? i mean.. is there a way to make sure that one will not just attain.. but *keep* happiness?

well, i'm happy. or at least, i think i am, hahaha. no, this is not an emo post. it's just one of those blog entries that come about because i chance upon a picture that i like.. and my thoughts start moving to all sorts of things XP

whatever the case may be.. i still think that secrets are cool.. if only for their mystery hahaha

jealous of the one..

hahahaha. i loved this xkcd comic XP that's all.. hahaha

too ordinary

like i mentioned in my previous blogpost.. this lss is quite different from the rest. it's weird.. i don't know if it's just me.. but the service just feels.. er.. totally ordinary. nothing spectacular. not much excitement. *sigh*

even the anointing was kinda.. er.. 'blah' (sorry.. couldn't think of a more appropriate term) it was over too soon. hahaha. we were all quite surprised when sis lynne told us that almost all the participants had already been anointed. and we hadn't even sung half of our usual repertoire! hahaha

then again.. the holy spirit doesn't always work in loud, extravagant ways. who knows.. maybe the quiet, ordinary service is enough.. :D

early celebration

first day of the lss (class of st bartholomew). it's weird.. but i feel somewhat.. detached this time. i don't know if it's because of certain.. er.. recent events. i'm not sure why, but this time around, serving in the lss just doesn't have the same kind of appeal as it used to have for me.

well, thank goodness we did something special (er.. sort of special) today :) after the lss mass, dad and i picked mom up from the house then we went on to gateway (again?!?!) to have an early mother's day celebration XP hehe. we had dinner at burgoo.. and i treated mom to an angus steak (yummy!!!) while i had grilled porkchops :) hmm. just thinking about it makes my mouth water again.. :D

happy moms' day. hahaha. omg.. i'm still keeping my fingers crossed. but for a different reason this time around.. XP

the special friend

we've been together for quite some time now.. and we're looking forward to more years of togetherness.

what is it i like about him? well, he's easy to hang out with.. and he's fun company. he plays nice music when i feel like soundtripping; stays quiet when i prefer silence. i can tell him anything i want and i'm sure he won't complain or spill my secrets. i enjoy going on adventures with him. oh, he sometimes makes me paranoid.. but all in all, he's really fun :p

his name is wyjel. and he's my car XP

hahaha. it's nice to have time with him again today. i didn't realize how much i missed him yesterday hehehe XP

catch it and put it in your pocket

i don't recall ever being called an optimist by *anybody* haha. but today.. just for today.. i'm being all hopeful and expectant.

i'm thinking my rainwishing powers might be working again hahaha. and i don't even need to have wyjel washed just to make the rains fall down!! wheeee!! XP

oh well. i'm just hoping that tomorrow will bring up a downpour. still keeping my fingers crossed.. hehehe

staying connected

it's another busy day for me!!

after my usual morning schedule, i went to up to meet up with some aliens who were enrolling. i brought joe black with me (as promised) so that the vampire can reconnect with other aliens via the internet. tsk. ipaayos mo na kasi ang pc mo at nang di ka ostracized hahaha

anyway. it's a nice rainy day. takes away most of my worries and paranoia haha. the weather is nice and cool. i'm happy about that, at least.

ingatan mo si joe black ha? mahal ko na rin yan kahit marami siyang mga bugs hahaha XP

stuck again

i don't mind going to choir practice, even if it's in makati. it's relaxing to just sit there and learn new songs. a welcome change from being in front of students and lecturing to teachers all day.

but this tuesday is different. not because prax was a bummer. rather, it's the *drive* home that was such a drag. *literally* grrr. i'm just grateful that i wasn't the one driving, haha.

i rode with heidi to and from practice. on the way home, we passed through c5. *bad* decision. there was a major accident that occurred some time in the evening.. and we got stuck in traffic for two hours. sheesh!! good thing we were listening to a really nice madz cd.. so that sort of eased the tension somewhat.

still.. i promise i'll never pass by c5 if i can help it. that traffic situation was just too traumatic. grrrr XP

blown out of proportion

this is leonardo da vinci's famous diagram. artistic. proportional. and er.. mathematical. hahahaha XP

the unidev lecture this afternoon was fine. it turned out ok.. though i wish i'd been able to include more activities. oh well. no time to prepare additional exercises and activities. heck.. i didn't even have enough time to eat!! hahaha. this is getting to be a habit.. tsk.

anyway. it's been a tiring day.. but in a way i'm happy. well, *almost* happy hahaha. turns out that some of my initial fears were simply blown out of proportion.

i hope things take a turn for the better. i'm still keeping my fingers crossed.. XP

gaffed eck

whoa. weird cards. i mean *totally* weird cards.. hahahahaha!! XP

i like 'em a lot. even though i don't really know *how* to use them.. hehe.

it's a very interesting day. a very interesting day, indeed.

words for the day: 'excited' and 'patronizing' XP

these are not eggs..

.. these are what kept my energy up today: white-chocolate-covered almonds. yum XP

8am - 12nn. it wasn't as bad as i thought. i had joe black with me this morning, hehe. after that, i was off to shopping center to see how the songbook production was coming along. well, they weren't quite done yet - which was good, coz i hadn't encashed the check for payment - so i went on home.

that's when i found these babies hehe. and they looked like cute tiny eggs.. but they tasted (white) chocolate-y.. which was weird. so of course, yeah, i liked 'em a lot XP

er. i think this is a weird blogpost.. hehehe. i think i'll sleep early today. the sleep deprivation must be getting to me hahaha

can't quite catch zzz's

this day marks the beginning of the "payback hours" hahaha.

wow. i am surprised by my own energy. i hope i can keep this up for the rest of the summer.. XP

8am - 4pm.. then it's off to choir prax 'til 9pm.

and yet when i get home i can't sleep hahaha XD

yeah, it's all because of *you* darnit! XP stop teasing me.. i hate it whenever you do that..

oxymoronic day

it's weird why nobody does any labor on labor day XP

i am stuffed. *really* stuffed. tsk. i had lunch with friend carolle today. guess where..?! haha. cibo. yep. at good ol' gateway. sheesh. i am *seriously* wishing i wouldn't have to set foot on that place again for the next couple of months hahaha

the weird thing is, the aliens planned on gatecrashing me!! haha. and i got out of the house just in time XP they were already in front of our gate when they called my celphone - only to find out i was at gateway. sheesh.

well, after my lunch date with carolle, we went to shopwise to visit the aliens. the vampire was there.. but had to go home immediately after dance class (awww). which was fine.. coz the others tagged along with me as i met up with mom & dad at the food express.

haha. so jandel.. my dad reminds you of jero..?! nyahahaha. yeah. that's kinda freaky. let's see how jero turns out after a couple of decades, shall we..? XP