i need fawkes

disappointment + paranoia = insomnia + z,
where z is an undetermined number of other unquantifiable variables

i didn't ask for this. not today. i would have waited. i think i am patient enough for that. but as always, i am obedient. and incredibly gullible. sigh..

so. where am i at? i think i'm at the usual place i find myself in right after moments such as this. i keep coming back here.. against my wishes. but it always changes. this place never stays the same..

i wonder if the phoenix ever dies. its tears are said to be healing. that being so, could it cry itself to death?

i'm so not all right.. i have just one question: why? :'(