false statement

I'm only up when you're not down
Don't wanna fly if you're still on the ground
It's like no matter what I do
Well you drive me crazy half the time
The other half I'm only trying to
Let you know that what I feel is true
And I'm only me when I'm with you

- taylor swift

been looking for song downloads the entire afternoon. listening to songs in my phone lulls me to sleep - and i am in desperate need of sleep for the past days.

i stumbled upon a few tunes by taylor swift. she's not exactly a favorite of mine - but the song lyrics intrigued me.. so i thought i'd give her songs a try.

*sigh* it's time to hit the sack. will the sandman come? i'm keeping my fingers crossed. and yes, i'm still hoping you'll keep your promise this time around..

:l

i had some sort of epiphany today. it's nothing fancy; in fact, the thought crossed my mind a couple of times in the past. i just never really got 'round to following up the idea. anyway, this was what i realized today:

HOPE KILLS

yeah, i know it sounds so damned pessimistic. it's true, though. i remember reading something similar in neil gaiman's sandman series - hell is a place where people are tortured by the thought that there is a heaven they can never go to.

ironically, it just so happens that when hope dies, peace is born.

i really should learn how to practice that silent prelude.. i need to shut you out of my already overloaded mind..

ok. just for the record.. hindi ito malaswang blogpost hahaha XP

tonight was our surprise shower party for ellen. we certainly had a lot of fun putting it together - especially since she was so darned difficult to surprise! ka-kutsaba namin lahat ng kamag-anak niya.. pati fiancee niya - para lang magawan ng paraan na mapapunta namin siya sa legend hotel XP

there's a funny story connected to the purchase of the condoms in the picture.. but i think that's another blog post altogether. suffice it to say that in case any of you had seen me buy a couple of boxes of rubber.. er.. those were all used for this said event, nyahahahahaha XP

anyway, the party was a success. it was (in spite of what the pictures above suggest) quite wholesome. no naked/stripping dancing men/women nyahahaha (tsk. sayang!).. no kinky games (except for the one with the banana - but it's so common that it doesn't count anymore).. not even any "hot" questions for the soon-to-be bride. hahaha. oh well. the important thing is that ellen had fun.. and we enjoyed each other's company :D

i am actually very excited for her XP for HER. not for me, though.. hahaha. i don't think i'll ever get *there* XP no regrets, though, right..?! no regrets..

walang hiya

like the banner says, "i'm not ashamed.." in filipino, ako'y walang hiya.. hehehe XP

i've been sleep deprived for god knows how long. i don't remember the last time i had a decent night's sleep. but that's ok.. now that one of our main activities is over, i think i can rest a bit.

the celebration of the year of st. paul was held at the araneta center. an ecumenical service at 7.30am started the event; it was followed by a eucharistic celebration (9:00-11:00am) and talks by bro bo sanchez and bishop chito tagle. oh.. and nolyn cabahug, pinky marquez, jamie rivera and dulce all gave inspiring and heartfelt renditions of gospel songs. it was a wonderful celebration. so yeah, in spite of my sleep deprivation, i did enjoy myself :D

more pictures here on this link. but i'd have to say.. my faves are the ones i have with my friends XD

better late than ever

i love cibo. but i love you guys more XP

thanx for the (super belated) bday treat, carolle..

do keep me posted on the you-know-what's ok? *HUG*

>:D<

hey. this post is for YOU. i'm not sure if you visit this place; so i don't know if you can read this. but just the same, this one goes out to you.

it's weird that we haven't talked in ages. oh.. we do get to chat for a couple of minutes sometimes.. but that's not what i mean. i do miss *talking* to you. i miss sharing secrets and laughter and yes, even tears with you.

so in spite of the not so good news i got today.. i *am* grateful for the chance to have a real conversation with you. and though i may not have anything else to offer at the moment, i hope this would suffice..

*HUG*

invisible

i wonder where sam gets all these pictures..

hmm. i'm not exactly sure if this is applicable to me. hahaha. well, considering that i don't have a 'significant other' right now, maybe it is XP

i'm not going to lie and say that i'm not searching for that 'special someone.' what girl doesn't want to have a guy who'll love her unconditionally and treat her like a queen? and yes, i do miss getting hugs and kisses. and lots and lots of hugs. and sweet nothings. i miss getting calls at night, going out on dates or just spending some quiet alone time.. all those cheesy stuff that couples do. complete with those googly-eyed looks. especially since february's drawing near (yep. S.A.D. is nearing once again!)

honestly, though.. i know i haven't found him (nor has he found me) 'coz i'm quite sure i'm not yet ready. oh, i'm definitely old enough - chronologically speaking, that is. but emotionally.. nah. i've got quite a number of tangles and unresolved issues. i don't think it's fair to drag anyone else into this mess i'm in, hahaha XP

oh well. maybe someday i'll lose my powers of invisibility. or at least, have the ability to turn it on/off at will..

take a bite

grabbed this picture from jem's friendster page. it's a bit emo.. but i found it really interesting, so i posted it here anyway :p

hmm. so what happened to me today? nothing much. we had a faculty meeting this morning.. followed by picture taking. a lot of us wore violet, haha. looks like that would be the color of the year 2009 :) and i think it's going to be my new fave color, too.. haha

i spent the past few hours online - browsing through friends' multiply, friendster and other pages. it's odd how my so-called "social" life is reduced to a virtual one. or maybe it's always been this way: virtual XP

at any rate, this day feels weird to me. it's as if all i want to do is to sleep. i can't seem to get enough zzz's lately, *sigh* i wonder why i'm always so exhausted.. :(

..continued

.. feels like today is a continuation of yesterday's adventures..

after the mass, cousin ems and i went around the department store on a mission: to look for gifts for two (or three) occasions.

i was hunting around for kikay stuff to give a friend's two kids. after almost an hour of browsing through the girly stuff, ems and i settled on some pink headbands, clips and sunglasses XP for the kid's younger sibling, we bought a pair of long-sleeved shirts (the weather still is kinda cold, after all).

the gift-hunting became more exciting as we scouted for a present for a bridal shower i'll be attending next week, haha. we marched off to the lingerie section of the mall.. and went gaga picking out some potential gifts XP from a red&black silk ensemble.. to a sexy purple nightie.. to some really raunchy underwear, bwahahaha!! i think i'm going to enjoy going to shower parties hehe XP

anyway. i'm still tired from yesterday's adventure. i slept for about 2 hours after eating a (late) lunch. trabahong baboy, according to ems, hehe XD oh well. time to do some chores now. and hopefully burn off some of the excess baggage, nyahahaha..

fishy travels

family = happiness

like i anticipated.. i am tired but really happy ü got home late from pangasinan. but family outings (especially with cousin em!! hahaha!!) are really fun. so here i am.. quite exhausted yet unable to sleep 'coz i just *had* to post these pix XP

click here to view more shots XP

nerding it out

just another tiring day. but hey.. i got a lot accomplished these last two days. tired but happy. hmm. i can live with that. just wishing there was more of the 'happy' and less of the 'tired' part, hehe XP

visited www.freerice.com again today. nothing like killing time by learning *and* donating rice to the poor. hahaha. yup. this is practically the only 'outreach' i engage in (apart from my usual church activities, that is).

right now my brain is thinking up a dozen stuff all at once: music, plans for tomorrow, daydreams, wardrobe choices, translation problems, phone numbers, the week's sked, z stuff, etc. i'm not consciously thinking of all these.. but i know they're all crammed up in my head.

my skull is currently protecting a precious supercomputer. time to give it a bit of a rest, haha. tomorrow's another long (yet hopefully happy/fulfilling) day.

happy laguna trip, lizzie! haha. i'll miss you.. and our weird chats XP this picture post is for you.. hehehehe XD and of course, i'll miss YOU. duh. talk about stating the obvious..

politically correct

after chatting with lizzie tonight, i found out that i am an ethically disoriented, motivationally deficient extraterrestrial.

also, i was able to learn some new things (new to ME at least) such as:
* comsci people have really interesting stat msgs
* status msgs serve as conversation starters
* freerice.com has other topics aside from english (math?!?! wow)
* i sound more interesting when described in a politically correct way (actually, anyone would)
* pancakes & ice cream go well together. theoretically, that is
* i do not know the average number of grains of rice a person eats in a single meal
* i attract 'destructing' beings hahahaha
* guys are rarely brave enough to accompany their girlfriends to the lingerie section
* girls do not always brave the lingerie section either

hmmm. thanx once more to lizzie for giving me tips on what to do during those er.. sleep-inducing meetings wahahahaha.

losers rock XP

speak for yourself

there must be some kind of "unlucky charm" connected with donuts. really. for some unexplained reason, the last three times i bought donuts on a wednesday, something unfortunate happened.

today's not such a good day. well, it's not as bad as the other day.. but still.. things aren't looking up. not so much. my only consolation is the cold weather. and even that is dampened by sunny skies (what?!) see, even the climate is going haywire. go figure.

i hate meetings. i hate being in charge. i hate getting all stressed out. i hate making mistakes. i hate being singled out. and i hate being pitted against someone i hate.

i think i'll just sing along with rihanna.. *sigh*
i wish i hadn't said sorry.. but i couldn't help it.. :(

i need fawkes

disappointment + paranoia = insomnia + z,
where z is an undetermined number of other unquantifiable variables

i didn't ask for this. not today. i would have waited. i think i am patient enough for that. but as always, i am obedient. and incredibly gullible. sigh..

so. where am i at? i think i'm at the usual place i find myself in right after moments such as this. i keep coming back here.. against my wishes. but it always changes. this place never stays the same..

i wonder if the phoenix ever dies. its tears are said to be healing. that being so, could it cry itself to death?

i'm so not all right.. i have just one question: why? :'(

montemaria (holy) adventure

another picture post!! XP

what an adventure, haha! this sure has been a loooooooong yet happy day :D technically speaking, it's already "tomorrow" today (huh?!) - i got home from monte maria past 12mn already. i'm physically exhausted.. but i can still feel the excitement from today's activities :D

i am happy. wow. hahahaha. it didn't take much to make me smile today :D just chocolate haha

another service in a couple of hours. gotta grab some shuteye now.. zzzzz *:D* kisses!! XP

unwelcome bunny

according to friend alexis, descartes is back. i haven't had the chance to check her link yet though. maybe i'm just wary. descartes' return is just so.. er.. coincidental. in a not so good way.

*sigh* it's friday. i'm here at school. again. and i'm wishing so badly that i were somewhere else. doing an entirely different thing. but noooo. dammit. why do my instincts always have to be so right?!? :(

i think i'm coming to hate bunnies.. i wish i'd gathered enough willpower to start hating you..

second childhood

here are the pictures taken from our choir's (belated) christmas party haha

it's fun to be a kid :p i really enjoyed this day - special thanx to my new playmate, cj haha. i guess when one gets older, one appreciates 'kiddie times' even more XP the music ministry party (held at jollibee pioneer) was a hit. the games were fun.. especially when we had to grab coins at the end of the party nyahahaha. oh.. and i was able to showcase one of my *very* hidden talents bwahaha. tsk. hindi ko 'yata dapat pinapahalata ang talento ko. mga alien lang at sobrang piling mga tao ang nakakaalam na lihim akong rope dancer nyahahahahaha.

well, it's a good way to "start" the year XD happy three kings.. and a prosperous new year to everybody :p i'm really, really happy today. thanx so much. feels like it's *my* day hahaha :-*