what's on your mind?

i drove dea to school today. wyjel's not available because of the coding thing.. so i spent time with dea again. after a long, long, long time.

it surprised me, really.. when i drove my old car again. dea's old. *really* old. she literally is a "holey" car.. full of squeaks, squawks and other scary sounds. she's boxy.. and a bit on the grimy side (it's hard to keep her white paint look really white). but while i was driving to school today, it felt like.. hmmm.. well, it may sound cheesy.. but i i felt as if i were with an old friend :p

wyjel's great. i mean, she's got a lot of newer accessories - tint, radio, sunshield, etc - and she's easier to drive. power steering.. power brakes.. power lock. i still think she's a good buy. and i hope i get to spend a lot of time with her. i don't regret buying my semi-new car.

but if it were up to me, i don't think i'd be getting rid of dea.

i mean.. i know it's economically unsound to keep her. the maintenance cost for a car that old is just.. well.. i don't want to even think about it. but today's drive with dea made me think about lots of stuff. and i'm not just referring to cars.

it made me think about how, lots of times, we put so much importance on what's *outside* - the stuff we see - the external. we easily get bored with things.. people.. who have been around us for so long. we want what's hip.. what's cool.. what's "in".. and we can't wait to distance ourselves from what's no longer in fashion. i also thought about how easy it is to take our blessings for granted. how, everytime we get what we ask for, we soon crave for something new.. something more than what we have. there's just no pleasing us.

i *had* to replace dea. it was the logical and practical thing to do. she was getting too old, too boring and too inconvenient. still.. i can't help but feel a twinge of guilt/hurt. after all, we did have a lot of years together. and she's never given me any headache/problem.

as for me and wyjel. *sigh* i love my sort-of-new-car. she's pretty. she's certainly more of a looker than dea. smells better.. is "classier".. and provides lots more space for me. but she's also a bit "colder".. more distant.. kinda aloof, even. i wish i could get to know her better. i wish i could have as much happy memories with her as with my rusty old car. and i wish she could give me that warm, fuzzy, comfortable and safe feeling i get whenever i spend time with dea.

wishful thinking. that's what's on my mind.

how 'bout you?