time for some laughs

There was a boy standing on a corner selling fish.

He was saying, "Dam fish for sale, dam fish for sale."

A preacher walked up and asked why he was calling them dam fish.

The kid said, "I caught them at the dam, so they're dam fish."

The preacher bought some, took them home and asked his wife to cook the dam fish.

His wife looked at him in bewilderment and said, "Preachers aren't supposed to talk like that."

The preacher explained why they were dam fish, and she agreed to cook them. When dinner was ready and everyone was sitting down, the preacher asked his son to pass him the dam fish.

His son replied, "That's the spirit dad. Pass the fucking potatoes!"

* * *

An elderly couple is watching one of those television preachers on TV one night. The preacher faces the camera and announces, "My friends, I'd like to share my healing powers with everyone watching this program. Place one hand on top of your TV and the other hand on the part of your body that ails you, and I will heal you."

The old woman has been having terrible stomach problems, so she places one hand on the television and the other hand on her stomach. Meanwhile, her husband approaches the television, placing one hand on top of the TV and the other hand on his groin.

With a frown, his wife says, "Ernest, he's talking about healing the sick, not raising the dead."

* * *

A strong Baptist family decided to buy a home and make everything in the house Baptist. They were going to make it look and feel Baptist through and through. So when they were finished they went to a petshop to look for a Baptist dog.

They asked the owner, "Do you have a Baptist dog?" Surprised, the petshop owner thought about it for a while and then nodded, saying, "Yes... yes, I think we have a dog that will fit your description." '

So the owner brought out the dog to the family, and the father said, "Let's see if this is a real Baptist dog." So the father said to the dog, "Go get a Bible." And the dog ran over to a table, grabbed a Bible in its mouth, ran back to the man and plopped the book at his feet.

Impressed, the father continued, "Let's see if this dog knows its books of the Bible... Turn to Psalm 23." The dog then opened the Bible with its snout and pawed through the pages to Psalm 23. Very pleased, the father bought the dog and brought it home.

The next day, the family had visitors. They showed their friends the Baptist dog and the things it could do. Finally, the friends asked, "Well, can it do any other tricks that normal dogs do?" The Baptist father wondered and said, "Hmm, I don't know. I've never tried."

He then ordered the dog, "Heel." Suddenly the dog leaped onto the father's lap and placed its paw on the man's head and started to pray. "Wait a minute!" exclaimed the Baptist mother, "This dog isn't Baptist! It's Pentecostal!"