confessions of an addict

just woke up, and boy, does my head hurt! it's also very hard to breathe. carp. my rhinitis is acting up again. my body's aching all over. guess this is what stress does to me.

made a blunder last night. i was having some problems here at home.. i was really stressed, confused, scared, lonely and depressed. i guess i had too many things on my mind yesterday. maybe it also had to do with "that time of the month." or perhaps it's because of hc (aka "wye"). or all of these combined. whatever. anyway, like i said, i made a blunder. i texted the first person i thought of whenever things went wrong. let's just call him "x." unfortunately, his reply only sort of made things worse. *sigh* that ought to teach me a lesson: never text anyone when you're upset. wait until your head has cleared.. or wait until you die of sorrow. haha. either way, you probably would not need to text the person anyway hehehe.

old habits die hard. old addictions are resurfacing. but by God, i *am* gonna get over this. i've got to. i have no choice..

Hard Habit to Break
Chicago

I guess I thought you’d be here forever
Another illusion I chose to create
You don’t know what ya got until it’s gone
And I found out just a little too late

I was acting as if you were lucky to have me
Doin’ you a favor I hardly knew you were there
But then you were gone and it was all wrong
Had no idea how much I cared

Chorus:
Now being without you
Takes a lot of getting used to
Should learn to live with it
But I don’t want to
Living without you
Is all a big mistake
Instead of getting easier
It’s the hardest thing to take
I’m addicted to you baby
You’re a hard habit to break

You found someone else you had every reason
You know I can’t blame you for running to her
Two people together but living alone
I was spreading my love too thin

After all of these years
I’m still tryin’ to shake it
Doin’ much better they say that it just takes time
But deep in the night, it’s an endless flight
I can’t get you out of my mind

Being without you
Takes a lot of getting used to
Should learn to live with it
I don’t want to
Being without you
Is all a big mistake
Instead of getting any easier
It’s the hardest thing to take
I’m addicted to you
You’re a hard habit to break

I can't go on, just can't go on
I can't go on, just can't go on..