terribly wonderful

i love oxymorons. probably coz i am one, myself (original copy, right xerox?)

i just heard that classes in all levels are suspended until friday this week. hmm. we have ondoy to thank for that. talk about total devastation..

anyway. just posting an entry here coz i need to post something. anything.

oh well..

watch over me

the heavy rains have stopped pouring. ondoy has left the country, at last.. but not before leaving almost the entire metro in shambles.

this morning, though.. the skies opened up. just for a little while. it was enough to make me feel twistedly (and ambivalently) happy.. yet scared.

i'm tired. so very tired.

i don't want to have to keep waiting for the rest of my life. i don't want to settle either.

what a mess.

just watch over me..

the color suits the day

bdays (mine, at least) are not my favorite days. the celebration today was a simple lunch at superbowl with family. here's wcd with me.. fiddling with his camera (while i'm opening a gift from cousin almi).

it's not a bad day. there is, after all, so much to be grateful for (my bdays are notorious for bringing about calamitous typhoons such as milenyo and ondoy). our family was spared from the flood, the traffic and all inconveniences (except for a couple of hours of internet disconnection).

at the risk of sounding ungrateful, though.. today was just as any other day. apart from the disastrous background, this day was unremarkable.

oh. my bday wish? to have an attitude transplant. obviously i'm in dire need of it.

the magic is missing

i miss being able to go out to shop. i mean, REALLY shop. yeah, i know i'm always in megamall. twice a week.. every week.. for the past decade or so. but my "shopping" escapades there are.. well.. i don't consider them actual shopping experiences.

i've always wanted to go to greenhills. to browse clothes.. to look for bargains.. update my wardrobe.. or just plain walk around.

i know what they all say. count your blessings. be grateful for the little things. yeah. i do. i am.

but the magic is missing. i wish i could get it back. i just don't know how :(

playing your cards right

today is.. uhmm.. well, it's too eventful for me to write down a long post :p suffice it to say that i'm glad things turned out a whole lot better than i expected :)

anyway, today i learned that (1) there are moments when it's better to not lay down all your cards on the table; but (2) sometimes it pays to take a gamble :p

i'm uber-tired and feeling woozy with a splitting headache; but today i don't mind. and i don't care.

i still don't like the birth month; but as of now, i find i can more than tolerate it :)

i wonder if i ought to continue being poker-faced..

wake me up...

there are many reasons why i hate september, and here are a few:

1. it signals in the christmas season. and we all know how i HATE that time of the year.

2. it's the month where i (officially) turn a year older. who the hell wants to get older?!

3. it's usually gloomy. oh. and there are no holidays in september.

so i reserved this special rant for today - the first day of september 2009. i thought that as years went by i'd get over my feeling of unease during my birth month. tsk. guess i was wrong. again.

anyway, i was riding the mrt late this afternoon when some stray thoughts wandered into my mind again. i guess i still have a semi-hangover from yesterday's movie. or maybe i'm really just in a morose mood. i dunno. but this supposedly inspirational quote popped into my head: today is a gift. that is why they call it the present. hahahahahaha. yeah right.

i rarely consider any day a gift. especially the present (or whenever it is that my physical body is stuck in). after all, my mind rarely stays in the now. it's either i'm wishing i could go back in time to undo all my stupid mistakes.. or else relive happier times that are no longer possible to bring back. or i'd be looking to the future - extremely paranoid or worried. i am almost never totally here 'coz my mind's always wandering in some different time zone; and i can't catch up.

but sometimes.. a few precious sometimes.. i manage to stay here. now. all too quickly, though.. time's up. and i'm back to my wandering ways.. *sigh*

oh well. still. thanks. i think.