out of time

i "made the most" out of the holiday by doing something i haven't done in a long while. yup. i watched the time traveler's wife this afternoon at gateway mall (with the folks and wcd, hehe). it was.. hmm.. well, i wouldn't say spectacular, because naturally the book is always loads better than the movie version; but it was.. worth watching :)

i'm not a fan of romance/drama, but i really, really loved this story because of its plot. obviously it's about time travel.. but i just loved the way the author wrote it. the narrative is nonlinear and linear at the same time (depends on whose perspective, i suppose). bottom line: the novel is a semi-traditional love story written in a "weird" way. and we all know how i'm instantly drawn to weird stuff.. hehehe.

on a (not so) related note.. there are moments when i feel like i am a chrono-impaired person too. oh, you know.. as if i am not so fully in the present.. or i am not my own age. i don't think i travel through time.. but then again.. who knows?! maybe i do, but i just haven't met myself yet.

then again.. maybe i've met me but i've just been too ashamed of myself to say hello, hahahaha.

WTH!? :p

bwahahahahahahahaha!! yeah, wth and wtf, lol! sheesh.

for lack of anything interesting to share with you guys, i'm posting my latest vanity pix here. haha. i got this beaded headband/necklace/belt and decided to try it out this afternoon when i was uber-bored. so there. hahahaha. lumabas ang pagka-kikay ko, letch.

anyway. i'm missing cousin ems. today's the first sunday that she's not with us after mass since she went to korea. *sigh* oh well. i'd better start thinking of ways to spend my weekends productively.. :)

the quality of my cyberlife is spiraling down the proverbial drain.. hahahaha. HELP!

no end in sight

of the many closed figures (not *polygons* mind you), the circle holds a special place in my cardiod.. er.. heart, i mean. it's perfectly symmetrical, easily constructable and symbolically eternal.

but today, my feeling of ambivalence extends to this special shape.

cycles. wow. they could be quite vicious..

ambivalent

i've been feeling tired a lot lately. at the same time, though, i find it hard to sleep. yeah, i know this isn't news to anyone. still.. for the past weeks, almost everything about me seems to be.. oh, i dunno.. undecided..?!

i've been keeping busy this august. not just with work or my usual activities.. but with new things, too. last august 22 i conducted a review for LET to a few educ graduates. haha.. it was my first time to conduct that kind of review; and admittedly i was nervous. thank god i was able to pull it off quite nicely, haha.

anyway. my mind has been unusually full of conflicting thoughts, of late. at the start of the month, i was really distressed. then paranoid. then angry/upset. then i moved towards cynicism/indifference. and now.. umm.. i am asking myself why i keep doing the things i really don't want to do. it's just plain weird. and kinda stupid.

tomorrow is eagerly anticipated and unwelcome.

madz about babes

it's been a long and tiring day, to say the least. but i had fun. after all, it's been quite some time since i last went out on a 'gimik' with friends. plus, i got to watch a really nice concert too. (click on the title-link to see more pix)

happy to the power 1/2. don't ask me why.

overshadowed

just a picture post for today. i'm tired. damn these stupid hormones - both an excess and a lack. ugh. i don't know who or what to blame for this. the weather? the cycle? the letter? or me?! *sigh* it's mostly me, i guess. always me. grrr.

sorry. now i'm remembering why i decided to stop updating this blog. hahahaha. it sucks to be in this mood (almost) all the time..

lights on

i find it difficult to sleep.. especially when the lights are on. but today i slept with the room light switched on. i had to. i had a nightmare.

yeah, i know. i'm kinda old to be spooked by spooks in my dreams. but sheesh. when you wake up at 2am distinctly hearing this creepy voice in your head (whispering something about cursed unwritten modules).. it's just so hard to go back to sleep again. i know it sounds funny *now*.. but seriously.. that scary, raspy, whispery voice just haunted the sh*t out of me. damn.

so. about those modules. yeah.. i guess they're kinda cursed. i couldn't even start writing. it's like all my creative juices have been sucked out of me. and it's not for any lack of trying. dammit i've been trying for the past months.. but I JUST CAN'T WRITE!!! at least, i couldn't write anything er.. "scholarly". f*ck, f*ck, f*ck!! auuuggggghh!!

i am living a nightmare right now :(

the heimlich maneuver

wow. another week is over. time sure flies fast. i don't really notice the days passing by. soon the "ber months" will be here and then christmas will be just around the corner. *sigh*

well, as before, whenever i want to distract or calm myself, i rummage for a book to read. and this time, i got my hands on palahniuk's novel, choke. haha. interesting read. mainly coz palahniuk is such an interesting author :p and also because the tone of the writing is just so.. hmm.. different. it's not a feel good novel.. but it's not dark or scary either. cool. i think i'm going to add palahniuk to my list of fave writers :)

oh well. time to read again. i certainly need the distraction. at least for the next few days.. *sigh*

reclaiming the lost

i'm feeling the need to look deep inside of me.. to do some *real* soulsearching.. in the attempt to look for my lost GEEKINESS *rotfl*

hahaha. i dunno. it just feels so.. liberating.. to start being geeky/weird again. the past months of near-normalcy has turned me into a bitchy and morose human. ok, ok.. so i exaggerate. i don't think i've ever really been *truly* human. even during recent times :p alien blood still flows through my (so-called) veins. what i mean is.. i intend to turn alien again. then maybe i wouldn't feel so uncomfortable in my own skin.

so. here are a couple of my recent finds from my all-time fave web comic (xkcd, natch!). hope you fellow geeks enjoy this.. :)

a nobody's suicide

thanks to liz for referring me to this.. hahahaha

resurrected

you must be wondering why the picture post is a half-eaten chocolate heart. hmm. i dunno. i'm wondering, too :p

i'm also wondering why the heck i'm updating this blog. i practically killed it a few months back - though to be honest, i actually missed writing down my thoughts here. it's not as if *nothing* has been happening to me. in fact, there've been lots and lots of goings on lately. i just refused to update this blog coz i know how OC i can get about things i start.

mostly i've been wasting my time playing facebook games. grabe, nakakaadik pala ang mga yun!! haha. now, though, i decided to waste my time more privately (thereby giving myself more freedom to rant and rave).. while forcing myself to get my creative juices flowing.

anyway. i'm back. and so is this blog. it's thanks to liz that this one's resurrected from the grave. i didn't really think anyone would notice the lack of updates here - until she told me about it haha. so there. i hope you're happy, lil sis.. it's your fault that i'm back nyahahahaha *evil grin*

i'm actually trying to decide whether i should "backtrack" and post some stuff that's happened in the previous months - if only for posterity. i dunno. maybe i should. sana wag akong tamarin, hehehehe :p

in mourning

today is a nonworking holiday. it's the last (official) day of mourning for the entire nation. today, we say our last farewell to our beloved president, tita cory.

today, too, is a day of mourning for me. yeah, i do have the capacity to grieve, you know. *sigh* but they say that it's healthy to cry for the loss of one that you love. i'm still hoping that there wouldn't be an actual loss.. but i dunno. it certainly feels like it.

i hate what's happening, but there's nothing i can do. if there's one thing i can't stand (apart from not having a shoulder to cry on), it's being forced to face a cold shoulder..