poison ivy

i got this from a website with an article that caught my attention. the title of the article was
"Poison Ivy: an Exaggerated Immune Response to Nothing Much"

==============================================
Allergy is an altered or unwanted immune response. The immune system attacks something which is genuinely foreign, but which would be harmless, were it not for the immune attack. The immune system has evolved to neutralize and eliminate foreign substances from our bodies. However, it cannot tell whether the foreign substance is harmful, so it sometimes attacks harmless substances vigorously, causing an inflammation which can be far more harmful than the foreign substance alone. Hay fever (allergic rhinitis or asthma to plant pollens) is a good example.
==============================================

so from what i understand, it isn't really poison ivy's fault that its oils cause rashes in most people. after all, the sap of the poison ivy is quite harmless - except for the fact that it causes an immune attack from around 95% of humans. the plant isn't the problem - it's the response of the body that causes the irritation.

an exaggerated response to nothing much. hmm. i guess that pretty much sums up how i react to things most of the time. when i think of all the stuff that's floating around in my head, i could say that they are mostly trivial. nothing earth-shaking. nothing fancy. nothing that would turn the world upside down or inside out. and yet at times i find myself worrying too much.. or else, stubbornly refusing to look at the "problems" squarely. hence, the fitful sleep, melancholy, weight loss and countless moments spent staring out into space.

i haven't found a foolproof way of dealing with my poison ivies. until now i experience all sorts of "allergic reactions" to these problems that are, in truth, "nothing much." *sigh* i need corticosteroids.. and fast..

what's in MY name?

haha. so this is what my name's supposed to stand for.. ahehehehehe :p

lethargy

i spent almost half the day asleep. hehe. i suppose i was really tired from all the activities this weekend. i woke up around 11am this morning.. still coughing, but thankfully my throat didn't hurt as bad as it did last night.

hmm. this "national heroes day" break is a welcome one for me. gave me a chance to catch up on my rest. which doesn't mean i've been in bed all day. i've been quite productive. i managed to download some christmas songs for friend heidi. i was also able to sort through some "throwables" here in my room. i've found some nice inspirational stories for our newsletter and i'm almost half done with the layout. hmm. not bad for a couple of hours' work hehe.

too bad i couldn't devote as much energy into writing that stupid journal article required for my tenure at school. *sigh* it's not that i don't want to get it done. i do! i really, really do!! but the darned thing scares the hell out of me - and i find it really difficult to stare the issue in the face and grapple with it. darn. just thinking about it saps my energy. *sigh* i have an idea of what i have to do.. it's just not as clear to me as i would like :(

oh well. i hope by december i'd have done what i'm supposed to do. why, oh why is it that i can write so much stuff here in my blog but i can't even get a decent journal article done?!? *sigh* to all those who read my entries here.. since you guys aren't that enthusiastic about writing your comments.. hope you could at least pray that i finish that paper :p

hehehe. at any rate, you'll hear what happens to me (do i get fired? do i move to a better-paying job? do i go abroad? do i marry a multi-millionaire? hahaha) in a couple of months..

on waiting

today is the first sunday of advent. the christmas season is here! honestly, though, i'm not all that excited about christmas this year. it's practically december and i haven't even started with my gift-giving list.

maybe it isn't just me. have you noticed that there are fewer lights to be found decorating the malls and the streets? you don't hear that many christmas carols being played on the radio either. not much christmas-themed tv shows, too. times are hard. money is so much harder to come by these days, so i suppose people are not very enthusiastic about celebrating christmas the usual way.

but though i am not excited about celebrating christmas, i have to admit that i am looking forward to the christmas season. it was a realization that came to me only today, as i listened to fr. mar's homily about the importance of advent.. of waiting, preparing, and being watchful.

this has been a very significant year for me. i can say that i have undergone more changes this 2005 than in the past four years. i've experienced great personal losses. i have gone through a lot of emotional turmoil. there was fear, confusion, heartbreak and doubt. but this year, too, i've experienced more of God's presence. i've felt His comfort, His mercy, His understanding and unconditional love. i've spent more time conversing with the Lord - pouring out my heart and then learning to quietly wait for His message to me. yes, i have had a lot of troubles this year. but the Lord has used them all to open my eyes to the reality of His wisdom, power and guidance.

as christmas draws near, i realize that the Lord has a challenge for me: with all the gifts He has given to me, what gift will i give Him in return? what would i be willing to do for the One who gave up everything just to save me? will the Lord find me waiting, ready to surrender everything to Him.. eager to let Him work in my life? when He looks into my heart, will He find a place especially prepared.. ready to enthrone Him as King? hmm. as of now, i don't know. but if there is anything i found out today, the lesson of advent is one of the most important ones i need to learn. wait expectantly. be prepared. be watchful.

as bishop martirez said in the gss mass, today is the start of a new year for the church. time to reflect on the year that was. time to ponder on our relationship with God. time to prepare ourselves for His coming. a time for new hope.. and for new beginnings. it's never too early to prepare for the Lord. i only hope when His birthday comes, i would have been able to offer God that which would delight Him.

not 53 on 26

this song was brought to my attention today. hmm. today of all days. funny. my heart's a blank right now. no, wait. i actually enjoyed this day. i had a lot of happy moments. disjointed happy moments.. but happy, nonetheless. in between were minutes spent staring out into space. no matter. at least there were no tears. no heart wrenching moments. and no memories (good or bad) that ruin the mood. hmm. maybe this is how he feels now. maybe this is what it feels like to move on..

or maybe i'm quite fine because i spent the entire day serving at our growth in the spirit seminar. maybe i'm all right 'coz i've been surrounded by so many friends the whole time (choirmates from 8am-6pm; then friends of our family from 6pm-10pm). i don't know. but whatever the reason.. i'm glad i'm doing ok.

here's the song i was talking about. i like this a lot.. though it's no longer dedicated to anyone in particular..


FOR YOU I WILL

When you're feeling lost in the night
When you feel your world just ain't right
Call on me, I will be waiting
Count on me, I will be there
Anytime the times get too tough
Anytime your best ain't enough
I'll be the one to make it better
I'll be there to protect you
See you through
I'll be there and there is nothing
I won't do

I will cross the ocean for you
I will go and bring you the moon
I will be your hero, your strength
Anything you need
I will be the sun in your sky
I will light your way for all time
I Promise you
For you I will

I will shield your heart from the rain
I will let no harm come your way
Oh these arms will be your shelter
No these arms won't let you down
If there is a mountain to move
I will move that mountain for you
I'm here for you, I'm here forever
I will be your fortress, tall and strong
I'll keep you safe, I'll stand beside you , right or wrong

I will cross the ocean for you
I will go and bring you the moon
I will be your hero, your strength
Anything you need
I will be the sun in your sky
I will light your way for all time
I Promise you
For you I will

For you I will
Lay my life on the line
For you I will fight a hulk
For you I will die
With every breath, with all my soul
I'll give my world
I'll give it all
Put your faith in me
And I'll do anything

I will cross the ocean for you
I will go and bring you the moon
I will be your hero, your strength
Anything you need
I will be the sun in your sky
I will light your way for all time
I Promise you
For you I will
I promise you
For you I, I will

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on journals and obsolete thoughts

i am a lot of things. teacher. friend. daughter. singer. crossword-puzzle solver. math enthusiast. rain and music lover. csi junkie. jesus freak. writer.

by writer, i do not mean to imply that i write well. my sentences are cluttered and i tend to babble a lot. however, i love to write. and i write about anything that enters my mind. i write them down in my blog(s). my writings, though, are not restricted to the electronic medium. i write a lot of my most intimate thoughts the old-fashioned way. on paper.

i was sorting through the stuff in my bag and came across the pieces of paper where i jotted down my thoughts for the past 3-4 months. they were letters. some were notes to God (i guess you could say they were written prayers). some were notes to _ _ _ (written during my darkest moments). others were notes to myself (when i wanted to sort my thoughts).

when i read what i wrote only a couple of months ago, i could not help but get the chills. it's creepy how, even then, i already seemed to know what would happen to me. most of the things i wrote down on those pieces of paper came true. of course, at the time, i didn't know they would happen. but they did. and as i read through my writings, i wondered whether the things i jot down now would come true.

honestly, though i know i was the one who wrote those old letters, when i read them, it felt as though i were hearing the thoughts of a totally different person. the feelings.. the fears.. the doubts.. and everything else.. i can still identify with. somewhat. because i don't feel them anymore. it's like reading someone else's diary. it's as if all those things happened to another person.

obsolete thoughts? maybe. maybe not. i don't know if i will ever feel or think the way i did then. but i'm glad i wrote everything down. 'coz in a way, i have immortalized the person i used to be. she may no longer be me.. but i will never forget her.

i should be laughing..

friend sanny sent me this for a friendster message. hmm. i can relate, definitely. but i don't wanna dwell on it. not anymore. been in mourning far too long. like the song says.. I SHOULD BE LAUGHING. i wonder why i'm not..




I Should Be Laughing
patty smyth

Somewhere in a scrap book
There's a rose you gave to me
And the photograph that's torn in half
And all thats left is me
Live happily ever after
That came after I was gone
And they tell you that you can't go back
Then why can't I go on?

When I should be laughin` at this joke
Dressed up as love, diguised as hope
And isn't it funny after all this time
A tear is fallin' when i should be laughin`

Sunsets are like a painting, windows like a frame
When night comes in and I begin
To see it all again

'Coz i should be laughing at this joke
The damage done the words i spoke
And isn't it funny after all this time
Regret can find me when I should be laughin'
I should laughin' at life
And all of the tricks that it plays
I should be laughing at time
And how fast its slippin' away

Somewhere in a scrap book
There's a rose you gave to me
And with one last look
I close the book
And let the past just be

When I should be laughin' at this joke
Dressed up as love, diguised as hope
And isn't it funny after all this time
A tear is fallin' when i should be laughin'

UNsound logic

there are proofs. and there are those that
pose as proofs :p
try to figure out what's wrong with these :)


Theorem : 3=4
Proof:
Suppose:
 a    +    b    =    c
This can also be written as:
 4a - 3a + 4b - 3b = 4c - 3c
After reorganising:
 4a + 4b - 4c = 3a + 3b - 3c
Take the constants out of the brackets:
 4 * (a+b-c) = 3 * (a+b-c)
Remove the same term left and right:
 4 = 3

Theorem : All numbers are equal to zero.
Proof: Suppose that a=b. Then
a = b
a^2 = ab
a^2 - b^2 = ab - b^2
(a + b)(a - b) = b(a - b)
a + b = b
a = 0

Theorem: 1$(dollar) = 1c(cent).
Proof:
And another that gives you a sense of
money disappearing...
1$ = 100c
= (10c)^2
= (0.1$)^2
= 0.01$
= 1c

Theorem: 1 = -1 .
Proof:
1/-1  =   -1/1
sqrt[ 1/-1 ]  = sqrt[ -1/1 ]
sqrt[1]*sqrt[1] = sqrt[-1]*sqrt[-1]
ie 1 = -1

    Theorem: 4 = 5
  Proof:
  16 - 36 = 25 - 45
  4^2 - 9*4 = 5^2 - 9*5
  4^2 - 9*4 + 81/4 = 5^2 - 9*5 + 81/4
  (4 - 9/2)^2 = (5 - 9/2)^2
  4 - 9/2 = 5 - 9/2
  4 = 5

sound logic # 1: on the thermodynamics of hell

i saw this article posted at the bulletin board of one of our science rooms at school. i looked for it in the internet. hmm. now, i don't know if the thermodynamics of hell. i'm not dead yet. and when i die, i certainly hope i don't get to find out *firsthand* whether hell is exothermic or endothermic. however, the logic does seem sound. hehe. read on.. (oh, and in case any of you *do* get firsthand information.. please.. *don't* let me know about it okay? =p)

Is Hell Exothermic or Endothermic?

As you study for exams, remember its not the quantity it's the quantity. And remember there is no substitute for pure unadulterated bull

---

Dr. Schambaugh, of the University of Oklahoma School of Chemical Engineering, Final Exam question for May of 1997. Dr. Schambaugh is known for asking questions such as, "why do airplanes fly?" on his final exams. His one and only final exam question in May 1997 for his Momentum, Heat and Mass Transfer II class was: "Is hell exothermic or endothermic? Support your answer with proof."

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law or some variant. One student, however, wrote the following:

"First, We postulate that if souls exist, then they must have some mass. If they do, then a mole of souls can also have a mass. So, at what rate are souls moving into hell and at what rate are souls leaving? I think we can safely assume that once a soul gets to hell, it will not leave.

Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for souls entering hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Some of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, then you will go to hell. Since there are more than one of these religions and people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all people and souls go to hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in hell to increase exponentially.

Now, we look at the rate of change in volume in hell. Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in hell to stay the same, the ratio of the mass of souls and volume needs to stay constant. Two options exist:

1. If hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter hell, then the temperature and pressure in hell will increase until all hell breaks loose.
2. If hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until hell freezes over.

So which is it? If we accept the quote given to me by Theresa Manyan during Freshman year, "that it will be a cold night in hell before I sleep with you" and take into account the fact that I still have NOT succeeded in having sexual relations with her, then Option 2 cannot be true...Thus, hell is exothermic."

The student, Tim Graham, got the only A.

talking to myself..

You Are Cherry Pie

You're the perfect combo of innocent and sexy Those who like you enjoy a contradiction

What Kind of Pie Are You?

Your Love Quote

Love is like pi -- natural, irrational, and very important.

What Love Quote Suits You?

You are Milk Chocolate

A total dreamer, you spend most of your time with your head in the clouds. You often think of the future, and you are always working toward your ideal life. Also nostelgic, you rarely forget a meaningful moment... even those from long ago.

What Kind of Chocolate Are You?

Your Reputation Is: Mystery Girl

You're the girl that everyone is trying to figure out. Men are attracted to your intriguing persona - and women want to copy it!

What's Your Reputation?

What Your Pink Outfit Means

Unsurprisingly, you are very sweet and cute. But you're also a bit of a tease - and not that innocent. Shy but sexy, you're an alluring mix of contradictions. Designer match: BCBG Signature accessory: Tortoise shell sunglasses

What Does Your Favorite Outfit Say About You?

You Are a Carnation

You are down to earth and grounded. You tend to be more traditional than trendy. Your confidence gets you through anything. People trust you and are very loyal to you.

What Flower Are You?

You Are Sexy Black Boots

You only look like you could walk all over someone...

What Kind of Boots Are You?

Your Element is Fire

Your power color: red Your energy: hot Your season: spring Like a fire, you are full of power and light. A born leader, you easily draw people toward you. You are full of courage and usually up for anything dangerous. You have a huge ego and love to be the center of attention.

What Element Are You?

pies. never really fond of them (though i have a fondness for "pi" hehe).. but i thought i'd take that test. along with the chocolate one.. and others. hmm. due to boredom, as usual. *sigh*

weather's really warm. shucks. and i thought the temp would consistently stay low since december's only a couple of days away. oh well..

hasn't rained in a while. not during daytime, at least. hmm. wish it would. i miss it.

tomorrow, i'm supposed to give an exam to math10 students. hehe. haven't made one yet. am toying with the idea of postponing their test to next week. poor kids. been overly busy with their pasixlab and other activities. no more time for math. boo hoo. :p hmm. not sure about the postponement.. but i guess they'll be happy if i do. what to do.. what to do..

it's now almost 2.30pm and so far, i've done nothing overly productive. haven't even figured out how to back up the songs in the ipod. haha. in a while i'd have to freshen up to go to megamall (for our prayer meeting). *sigh* what a day..

wake up time..

i came across this one while viewing a blog. i've read this before (though i don't know where).. but right now, i just feel it's a very timely message. hmm. guess the time for me to wake up draws near.. =p

The Awakening

A time comes in your life when you finally get it...when, in the midst of all your fears and insanity, you stop dead in your tracks and somewhere the voice inside your head cries out...ENOUGH! Enough fighting and crying and blaming and struggling to hold on.

Then, like a child quieting down after a tantrum, you blink back your tears and begin to look at the world through new eyes.

This is your awakening.

You realize it's time to stop hoping and waiting for something to change, or for happiness, safety and security to magically appear over the next horizon.

You realize that in the real world there aren't always fairy tale endings, and that any guarantee of "happily ever after" must begin with you... and in the process a sense of serenity is born of acceptance.

You awaken to the fact that you are not perfect and that not everyone will always love, appreciate or approve of who or what you are... and that's OK. They are entitled to their own views and opinions.

You learn the importance of loving and championing yourself... and in the process a sense of new found confidence is born of self-approval.

You stop complaining and blaming other people for the things they did to you - or didn't do for you - and you learn that the only thing you can really count on is the unexpected.

You learn that people don't always say what they mean or mean what they say and that not everyone will always be there for you and that everything isn't always about you.

So, you learn to stand on your own and to take care of yourself... and in the process a sense of safety and security is born of self-reliance.

You stop judging and pointing fingers and you begin to accept people as they are and to overlook their shortcomings and human frailties... and in the process a sense of peace and contentment is born of forgiveness.

You learn to open up to new worlds and different points of view. You begin reassessing and redefining who you are and what you really stand for.

You learn the difference between wanting and needing and you begin to discard the doctrines and values you've outgrown, or should never have bought into to begin with.

You learn that there is power and glory in creating and contributing and you stop maneuvering through life merely as a "consumer" looking for your next fix.

You learn that principles such as honesty and integrity are not the outdated ideals of a bygone era, but the mortar that holds together the foundation upon which you must build a life.

You learn that you don't know everything, it's not your job to save the world and that you can't teach a pig to sing. You learn that the only cross to bear is the one you choose to carry and that martyrs get burned at the stake.

Then you learn about love. You learn to look at relationships as they really are and not as you would have them be. You learn that alone does not mean lonely.

You stop trying to control people, situations and outcomes. You learn to distinguish between guilt and responsibility and the importance of setting boundaries and learning to say NO.

You also stop working so hard at putting your feelings aside, smoothing things over and ignoring your needs.

You learn that your body really is your temple. You begin to care for it and treat it with respect. You begin to eat a balanced diet, drink more water, and take more time to exercise.

You learn that being tired fuels doubt, fear, and uncertainty and so you take more time to rest. And, just as food fuels the body, laughter fuels our soul. So you take more time to laugh and to play.

You learn that, for the most part, you get in life what you believe you deserve, and that much of life truly is a self-fulfilling prophecy.

You learn that anything worth achieving is worth working for and that wishing for something to happen is different than working toward making it happen.

More importantly, you learn that in order to achieve success you need direction, discipline and perseverance. You also learn that no one can do it all alone, and that it's OK to risk asking for help.

You learn the only thing you must truly fear is fear itself. You learn to step right into and through your fears because you know that whatever happens you can handle it and to give in to fear is to give away the right to live life on your own terms.

You learn to fight for your life and not to squander it living under a cloud of impending doom.

You learn that life isn't always fair, you don't always get what you think you deserve and that sometimes bad things happen to unsuspecting, good people... and you learn not to always take it personally.

You learn that nobody's punishing you and everything isn't always somebody's fault. It's just life happening. You learn to admit when you are wrong and to build bridges instead of walls.

You learn that negative feelings such as anger, envy and resentment must be understood and redirected or they will suffocate the life out of you and poison the universe that surrounds you.

You learn to be thankful and to take comfort in many of the simple things we take for granted, things that millions of people upon the earth can only dream about: a full refrigerator, clean running water, a soft warm bed, a long hot shower.

Then, you begin to take responsibility for yourself by yourself and you make yourself a promise to never betray yourself and to never, ever settle for less than your heart's desire.

You make it a point to keep smiling, to keep trusting, and to stay open to every wonderful possibility.

You hang a wind chime outside your window so you can listen to the wind.

Finally, with courage in your heart, you take a stand, you take a deep breath, and you begin to design the life you want to live as best you can.

gratefulness

The Most Beautiful Flower
by: Cheryl Costello-Forshey

The park bench was deserted as I sat down to read. Beneath the long, straggly branches of an old willow tree. Disillusioned by life with good reason to frown, for the world was intent on dragging me down.

And if that weren't enough to ruin my day, a young boy out of breath approached me, all tired from play. He stood right before me with his head tilted down and said with great excitement, "Look what I found!"

In his hand was a flower, and what a pitiful sight, with its petals all worn - not enough rain, or too little light. Wanting him to take his dead flower and go off to play, I faked a small smile and then shifted away.

But instead of retreating he sat next to my side
and placed the flower to his nose and declared with overacted surprise, "It sure smells pretty and it's beautiful, too. That's why I picked it; here, it's for you."

The weed before me was dying or dead. Not vibrant of colors, orange, yellow or red. But I knew I must take it, or he might never leave. So I reached for the flower, and replied, "Just what I need."
But instead of him placing the flower in my hand, he held it mid-air without reason or plan.
It was then that I noticed for the very first time
That weed-toting boy could not see: he was blind.

I heard my voice quiver, tears shone like the sun
as I thanked him for picking the very best one.
"You're welcome," he smiled, and then ran off to play, unaware of the impact he'd had on my day.

I sat there and wondered how he managed to see a self-pitying woman beneath an old willow tree. How did he know of my self-indulged plight? Perhaps from his heart, he'd been blessed with true sight.

Through the eyes of a blind child, at last I could see the problem was not with the world; the problem was me. And for all of those times I myself had been blind, I vowed to see the beauty in life, and appreciate every second that's mine.

And then I held that wilted flower up to my nose and breathed in the fragrance of a beautiful rose and smiled as I watched that young boy, another weed in his hand about to change the life of an unsuspecting old man.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

there's no such thing as a *small* blessing. there are only hearts that are *small* at giving thanks. and it is good that time and again, we are reminded that we have so much to be grateful for in this life. 'coz no one is so rich that he no longer needs the blessings the Lord daily provides; and no one is so poor that he cannot thank God for anything at all Ü

this week, may the Lord give all of us a truly grateful heart. for all the countless blessings. but most of all, for the gift of Himself and His undying Love Ü

THANKFULNESS

today i was surfing the net, and i came upon this very timely poem:

Be Thankful

Be thankful that you don't already have everything you desire,
If you did, what would there be to look forward to?

Be thankful when you don't know something
For it gives you the opportunity to learn.

Be thankful for the difficult times.
During those times you grow.

Be thankful for your limitations
Because they give you opportunities for improvement.

Be thankful for each new challenge
Because it will build your strength and character.

Be thankful for your mistakes
They will teach you valuable lessons.

Be thankful when you're tired and weary
Because it means you've made a difference.

It is easy to be thankful for the good things.
A life of rich fulfillment comes to those who are also thankful for the setbacks.

GRATITUDE can turn a negative into a positive.
Find a way to be thankful for your troubles and they can become your blessings.

like most people, i have always thanked the Lord for the many blessings He showered me with: a loving family, caring friends, a community to belong in, good health, etc. but after reading the lines of the poem, i realized that there still are a lot of things i have not thanked God for. like my personal trials. like moments of loneliness. of feeling rejected.

pain and sadness can sometimes blind the heart to the countless blessings it daily receives. in my case, because of the heartaches i went through the past months, i wanted comfort. i wanted relief. i looked for affirmation from others. thankfulness and gratitude were definitely not the foremost things on my mind.

1 thess 5:18 said, “give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” at first, i did not understand. how could i be thankful when i certainly don’t feel very blessed?! then it dawned on me: i got it all backwards! i did not feel blessed because i was not being thankful!

it is all a matter of perspective. i realized that when i consciously make myself more aware of God’s blessings, i start to feel better. all of a sudden, i am able to smile more, and the world takes on a brighter hue Ü

this quote rings so true: "Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow." ~ Melody Beattie ~

a thankful heart. one of the most precious gifts the Lord can give to someone who’s broken. someone like me. and i’m glad He chose this special month of Thanksgiving to open my eyes to the many hidden blessings in my life Ü Thank You, Lord. Thank You.. Ü

how innocent are you? =p

been searching some stuff for our church's newsletter. since it's the season for thanksgiving, i browsed through some sites, looking for "turkey" jokes. hehehe... i found this poem hilarious =p

=====================================

He laid her on the table,
So white, clean and bare.

His forehead wet with beads of sweat,
He rubbed her here and there.

He touched her neck and then her breast,
And then, drooling, felt her thigh.

The slit was wet and all was set, He gave a joyous cry.
The hole was wide...he looked inside,

All was dark and murky.

He rubbed his hands and stretched out his arms,

And then he stuffed the turkey

if there's such a thing as a PINK day, this would be it.. Ü

our attire for today's TV mass (aired every sunday, 9am at ch23) was pink. hehe. my favorite color. anyway, i don't know if the color has anything to do with it.. but my day certainly felt.. well, PINK! =p

first of all, i had a great time with choir friends after the mass. oh, we didn't do anything fancy. just ate brunch at tea republic. (see my previous post) but i really had fun. well, i'm not exactly what anyone would call "sociable." so it is one big feat for me to spend time with 'new' people (i.e., those whom i've known for less than a year.. or those whom i haven't really talked to much).. much less enjoy their company. but today, i was able to do just that. i spent time with choirmates whom i don't regularly get to talk with. hehe =p

i also felt quite.. uhm.. "girly" today. hahaha. i guess pink does that to you. but i was pleasantly surprised when i looked at my reflection while walking around the mall. i found that i didn't look so bad, after all. hahahaha. that was a revelation =0 anyway, it was a welcome change.. for me to be able to consider the possibility that i could look.. well.. NICE =p

to top it off, i'm in quite a bit of a good mood today =) no hint of blue.. or black (as is usually the case). some friends said i was 'blooming' (again, maybe due to the pink blouse.. pink earrings.. pink necklace.. but i could be wrong Ü) maybe it's partly due to the smile pasted on my face hehe =p no, i'm not in love with anyone new. i don't have any 'special someone' either. no 'prospect' and no one who catches my eye. i'm just happy. contented. in a pink mood, so to speak =p

hmm. i really should wear pink more often.. Ü

that "M" word

lately, i've found myself enjoying music more and more. and by music, i don't just mean our choir (although yes, that *is* a big part of my life). i notice that music is in my head 24/7. there's always a song playing in my mind.. even if only in the background. when i'm happy, i catch myself humming or whistling. when i'm blue, i find myself singing one of those sad songs that most fit my mood. when i'm especially lonely, i find comfort and solace in the words of the inspirational songs i listen to (hillsongs, mostly). when i'm bored, i turn on my radio or play a good cd on my pc (oh yeah, and my mp3 player's been a constant companion, of late). even when i'm blogging, i end up posting song lyrics that touch me.

now, on the social side. these past months, i've been hanging out so much with my choir friends. mostly it's heidi and lian. today, though, i got to spend time with glenda and weng too. i had a great time having brunch with them (and lian) at tea republic. it felt good to be able to hang out with new friends :)

bit by bit, i'm getting better. not yet normal.. but a lot improved, i suppose. yes, i still miss him. a lot. and yes, some memories are still very painful for me to remember. i still have those nagging aches that tug at the heart when the 26th of the month nears. and there are moments of loneliness and sadness too. but i guess that's okay. slowly but surely, i'm able to cope. with God's help, of course.. and the Music that He sends my way :)

prodigal son's lullaby

i'm currently listening to some mp3 songs. came across this one. hmm. i like the lyrics. quite inspiring.. so i thought i'd share it with you guys.. :)

BECAUSE OF YOUR LOVE
(THE PRODIGAL SON'S LULLABY)
-Nyoy Volante-

how can I see Your face
and receive Your loving grace
when I am here shamed in sin
hurting You deep within

yet everytime I run and flee
You take me home forgiving me
with the skies I feel Your touch
no other love can be this much

You are there as I hide
with Your arms open wide

**for You alone
have the greatest love the world has ever known
a love that never ceases to embrace a weary heart
and give a brand new start
provides light where the sun has never shown
now I can understand
that I am here because of Your love

so I take Your gentle hand
only to sin again
and yet You turn then stubbornly
you take me home, forgiving me

how can love as great as this
even want to exist
oh God of all that's good and true
please believe I love You too

though I walk through desert's doors
I will fear nothing more

repeat ** except last line

that I am here because...
you are there as I hide
with Your arms open wide
though I walk through desert's doors
I will fear nothing more
nothing more

repeat ** except last line

as You take me by the hand
that I am here
because of Your love

weirdly usual

this has been a most unusual saturday. we had makeup classes today at school. thursday sked. report cards were also released this morning. needless to say, i was not able to attend choir practice. that's fine with me.. though admittedly, it was quite disorienting to have my usual saturday schedule changed so drastically hehe :p

anyway, it didn't feel like a saturday at all. what with my being at school from 8am - 4pm. i wasn't able to eat a proper breakfast (was hurrying to go to school). nor was i able to eat lunch either (had to talk to some people about writing a journal article for tenure.. and other stuff). i wasn't able to go out on a gimik (darn - still haven't gone to greenhills lately. can't wait to visit the fully booked store there). got home around 4.15pm.. planned to stay home and rest. instead, i tagged along with my parents to go to an aunt's 50th birthday celebration in bulacan. haha. great.

it's funny how we tend to associate days with the activities we normally do. we talk about "weekdays" - meaning, days when we work. "weekends" usually refer to those precious two days when we can relax and do stuff that do not make us feel stressed. i guess this just means that most everyone lives a routinary life. more specifically, people live through weekly routines. and when changes in the routine happen, it can be quite disorienting.

so it's now 10.45pm and it still feels like a friday. hahaha. the day just flew by! well, at least i've been productive.. hehe. i just hope the next saturdays wouldn't be too weird for me :p

PS: no, the picture does not really have anything much to do with the post. except that it's kinda weird.. although it's something we usually see (hmm. i wonder if that made sense to anyone but me hehe)

this is what boredom does to me..

boredom does strange things to me. if you are as bored as i am, go ahead and read on. but if not.. well, you read at your own risk. nothing of interest here.. and none of these really matter anyway.. hahahahaha =p

Your Blog Should Be Purple

You're an expressive, offbeat blogger who tends to write about anything and everything. You tend to set blogging trends, and you're the most likely to write your own meme or survey. You are a bit distant though. Your blog is all about you - not what anyone else has to say.

What Color Should Your Blog or Journal Be?

i looked at the purple blog template. didn't like it. i'm fine with this one.

Your Fortune Is

Never have sex with a stranger unless you are stranger than them.

The Wacky Fortune Cookie Generator

now *that's* a great piece of advice. hahahahahaha >:D

Your Seduction Style: Fantasy Lover

You know that ideal love that each of us dreams of from childhood? That's you! Not because you posess all of the ideal characteristics, but because you are a savvy shape shifter. You have the uncanny ability to detect someone's particular fantasy... and make it you. You inspire each person to be an idealist and passionate, and you make each moment memorable Even a simple coffee date with you can be the most romantic moment of someone's life By giving your date exactly what he or she desires, you quickly become the ideal lover. Your abilities to make dreams come true is so strong, that you are often the love of many people's lives. Your ex's (and even people you have simply met or been friends with) long to be yours. No doubt you are the one others have dreamed of... your biggest challenge is finding *your* dream lover.

What Kind of Seducer Are You?

hahahahaha. i had a barrel of laughs with this one. no other comment =p

Your Career Type: Artistic

You are expressive, original, and independent. Your talents lie in your artistic abilities: creative writing, drama, crafts, music, or art. You would make an excellent: Actor - Art Teacher - Book Editor Clothes Designer - Comedian - Composer Dancer - DJ - Graphic Designer Illustrator - Musician - Sculptor The worst career options for your are conventional careers, like bank teller or secretary.

What's Your Ideal Career?

great. so i should've been some sort of artist. haha. i wonder how i ended up teaching maths.

Your Personality Is

Rational (NT) You are both logical and creative. You are full of ideas. You are so rational that you analyze everything. This drives people a little crazy! Intelligence is important to you. You always like to be around smart people. In fact, you're often a little short with people who don't impress you mentally. You seem distant to some - but it's usually because you're deep in thought. Those who understand you best are fellow Rationals. In love, you tend to approach things with logic. You seek a compatible mate - who is also very intelligent. At work, you tend to gravitate toward idea building careers - like programming, medicine, or academia. With others, you are very honest and direct. People often can't take your criticism well. As far as your looks go, you're coasting on what you were born with. You think fashion is silly. On weekends, you spend most of your time thinking, experimenting with new ideas, or learning new things.

The Three Question Personality Test

"You are so rational that you analyze everything. This drives people a little crazy!" hahaha!! my friends would definitely agree with *that* line :D i think i agree with this one, at least :p

Brainy Kid

In high school, you were acing AP classes or hanging out in the computer lab. You may have been a bit of a geek back then, but now you're a total success!

Who Were You In High School?

yeah, well, i was a bit of a geek then. nerdy. bookworm. didn't care then. don't care now :p i'd have to disagree about the "total success" thing, though. hahahaha :D

i wonder what sort of things boredom will make me do next..

fading

nope. i'm not sad. i'm not annoyed. nor depressed. nor irritated. hehe. i'm just one big blank right now. i'm not my usual negative self - though admittedly, neither would anyone call me ms. sunshine hehehe. perhaps i can say my current mood is.. hmm.. cynically sarcastic..?! i don't know.

anyway, creativity comes when it wishes to - regardless of a person's mood. and these just popped into my head a couple of minutes ago, so here. instant blog post hahaha :p they don't mean a thing.. but the lines seem ok to me.. hence, i'm writing them down here.

next time i'll write something more coherent - or interesting.

==================================================

flowers. wilting slowly.
as colors fade.
and petals fall.
to the ground.
one by one.

dreams. becoming blurry.
and indistinct.
soon forgotten.
unremembered.
out of mind.

body. thinning gradually.
and losing form.
turning ghostly.
ephemeral.
and unseen.

silence. coldly present.
too deafening.
and yet peaceful.
enveloping.
then nothing.

"laws" of generality (hehe)

i don't usually repost stuff from other people's blogs (ok.. sometimes i do. but not often hehe).. but i just couldn't pass this one up :D got this one from my ex's blog. check it out. i'd have to agree with most of what's written here. 'coz some of the stuff he wrote, i've observed too :p


Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands
become coated with grease, your nose will begin
to itch.

Law of the Workshop: Any tool, when dropped, will
roll to the least accessible corner.

Law of the Telephone: When you dial a wrong
number, you never get a busy signal.

Law of the Alibi: If you tell the boss you were late
for work because you had a flat tire, the very next
morning you will have a flat tire.

Variation Law: If you change lines (or traffic lanes),
the one you were in will start to move faster than
the one you are in now. (works every time)

Bath Theorem: When the body is fully immersed in
water, the telephone rings.

Law of Close Encounters: The probability of
meeting someone you know increases when you
are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

Law of the Result: When you try to prove to
someone that a machine won't work, it will.

Law of Biomechanics: The severity of the itch is
inversely proportional to the reach.

Theatre Rule: At any event, the people whose
seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.

Law of Coffee: As soon as you sit down to a cup of
hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something
which will last until the coffee is cold.

Murphy's Law of Lockers: If there are only two
people in a locker room, they will have adjacent
lockers.

Law of Dirty Rugs/Carpets: The chances of an
open-faced jelly sandwich of landing face down on
a floor covering are directly correlated to the
newness and cost of the carpet/rug.

Law of Location: No matter where you go, there
you are.

Law of Logical Argument: Anything is possible if
you don't know what you are talking about.

Brown's Law: If the shoe fits, it's ugly.

Oliver's Law: A closed mouth gathers no feet.

batas ng bilangan: kapag may count-off sa klase parating may nagkakamali sa pagbibilang o humihinto dahil di nagbilang yung isang tao.

batas ng memory: naalala ng tao ang mga bagay na walng kwenta.nakaklimutan yung mga importante o yung dapat alalahanin.

batas ng hugas: kapag nagpa-carwash ka uulan.(usually sa sc o as)

batas ng trapal: kapag nagkabit ka ng trapal titigil ang ulan.kapag tinanggal mo na uulan na naman.

batas ng sinampay: biglang bubuhos ang ulan at mababasa ang patuyo na na mag damit.kapag maagap ka at nakuha na ang sinampay(na may patak-patak na basa),titigil naman yung ulan.

batas ng signal light:kapag nag-signal ka bago mag-change lane,di ka pagbibigyan ng maraming sasakyan.

batas ng kainan sa kasal: kapag sa sari-sariling table dinadala ang pagkain,nag-uunahang sumandok ang mga tao.mauubos na ang nakahain bago dumating ang susunod na serving.

batas ng ga sa circuit: kapag sa lc ang ga konti ang tao.kapag sa room 206,may quorum.

batas ng design problem sa eee54:kapag ok na ang design mo at tumayo ka sa upuan bago magpa-check, pagbalik mo di na ulit yun gagana.

batas ng oscilloscope:kapag sira ang oscilloscope at sinabi mo sa prof na sira, paglapit niya biglang maayos kahit di pa niya hinahawakan.

batas ng chubby chix: kapag ang babae mataba, di siya matakaw.kapag payat naman magugulat ka sa kinakain.

batas ng extra rice: normal sa lalaki ang 1-2 cups ng extra rice.

batas ng libro: kapag bumili ako ng libro, binabagsak ko yung subject.=p

batas ng kamatayan: yung mga nag-susuicide nabubuhay.

batas ng kamao: pelikula ata to...

batas ng lansangan: isa pa ata...

batas ng barkadang naglalakad: ang barkada kung maglakad magkakatabi, kahit wala nang madaanan yung kasalubong nila.

batas ng high blood: yung mga high blood na umiiwas sa taba namamatay ng maaga.yung mga nagpapakasasa sa taba nabubuhay ng mas matagal.

batas ng cancer: ang may cancer pag nagpagamot naghihirap,minsan namamatay pa.ang mga nagpabaya sa gamot nabubuhay pa ng 10 years.

batas ng partial points: kapag babae ang humingi ng partial points o correction sa exam pinagbibigayan.kapag lalaki,tinatarayan.

batas ng exam sa physics: mag-sagot ng sample exams para mataas ang grade.

batas ng pamasahe: kapag may sukli ka pa sa jeep at di mo pinaalala, di na bibigay sa iyo.kaya dapat magbigay ng exact fare.

batas ng pamasahe sa umaga: kapag sumakay ka sa jeep ng 500 ang pera mo,tititigan ka ng driver ng masama pero libre na pamasahe mo.

batas ng payong: kapag umuulan hindi nilalabas ng mga tao yung payong nila kasi ayaw nilang mabasa yung payong.

batas ng homework: ang taong di gumagawa pero nangongopya ng homework ay nakakakuha ng mataas na grade sa exam.

batas ng aircon bus: mas mura ang pamasahe sa aircon bus kaysa sa ordinary bus.

batas ng pulis: walang batas-batas basta may lagay-lagay.

batas ng walang magawa: kapag umabot ka dito,wala ka din talagang magawang matino.

PS: i prefer the ones he wrote hehehe :)

dreams

it's now 17 november. hehe. i got home late last night. no, wait. i got home early this morning, i mean :p watched HP4 (last full show) at megamall with friends heidi, lian and denise (heid's cousin). it was great!!! :D it was about 2 1/2 hours long, but it's definitely worth seeing. never mind that we got to go home at 12:20am. we sure had a blast watching the movie last night :p

but this post isn't about HP4. it's about what happened to me when i got home. or rather, what happened when i fell asleep, eventually (took me some time before i could actually get some shuteye - slept at around 2am already).

================================================
have you ever had a dream as if you were awake? as if you were simply continuing the day.. doing the things you normally do.. carrying on conversations with friends, even in your sleep? hehe. happens to me sometimes. but when i went to sleep last night (this morning.. whatever), i felt like i was continuing my entire week! hahaha :p

these were the things i did in my dreams:

(1) got ready for school. in fact, i went so far as to teach my geom class - though i don't remember what the lesson was hehehe. i also talked to some of my 4th year students about their batch night out, etc.

(2) prepared the report cards for distribution. well, we have makeup class this coming saturday.. so i suppose even in my dreams i knew i had to get those stuff ready :p

(3) wrote some blog entries. in my dreams, i knew exactly what i was going to write. unfortunately, when i woke up, i forgot all about them. hehehehe :)

(4) practised songs. hahahaha. now *this* was funny. i was singing this tune in my head while sleeping (i don't know if i was actually singing, though!). it wasn't really any one of those songs we practice in the choir. i don't remember what it was.. but i was having a great time singing it. hahahaha. too bad i woke up already. hehehe.

(5) played the guitar and piano. yup. i was playing them both.. though not at the same time :p which was weird, 'coz i don't know how to play the guitar.. and i'm lousy at playing the piano. i read notes, but it takes me forever to study a piece and eventually learn to play it. hmm. but what the heck. anything's possible in dreams..

(6) chatted with friends and family. hmm. bits of conversations here and there. talked to heidi about our Christmas carolling plans. asked my dad about his aching back (well, his back ached in my dream - though when i asked him this am, he said it's fine. good). joked around with lilian and almi (i forgot what that was about). said hello and how do you do to my ex (we were in good and friendly terms in my dream - i liked his smile). had a comfortable chat with emgee. ha. lots of happy conversations :)

well anyway.. i'm now officially awake. *sigh* sometimes i feel my dreams are more interesting.. more fun to be in than real life. hahaha. oh well. maybe not. let's see what reality has in store for me today :p

HP4

it's november 16!!! :) hehehe. call me a sucker for harry potter.. but it seems i'm not alone in this. lots of people have been excitedly awaiting this day to go and watch HP4.

friends heidi and lian are asking me to go and watch the last full show with them at megamall later, after our prayer meeting. hmm. i hope we can still get tickets.

i remember how i got hooked into reading the series. a former student of mine (roselle dao) was reading HP in class. i got the book from her while they were answering some seatwork.. browsed through the pages.. and by the time they were done answering, i'd already decided to hunt down the book at the nearest NBS :p

what's the appeal of harry potter anyway? maybe it's the magic. or maybe it's the friendship between the main characters. or perhaps it's the thought that the "underdog" muggle turned out to be a most famous and powerful wizard - "the boy who lived". perhaps it's all of the above. i don't know. all i know is that i'm excited to watch the latest HP movie hehehe.


for links to sites about HP4 the movie, click here

want to find other HP freaks? check out the site mugglenet.com

just a quote

friend sanny sent me an email that contained this quote:

"When I lost you I was the one who loved you most But between us you lost more for someday I can love someone the way that i loved you; but you will never be loved again the way that i did..."

hmm. well, what can i say?! this guy's amazing. if he's not sending me the most appropriate songs for my mood, he's sending me messages that make me think. hahaha.

at any rate, i wish i could say those lines with confidence right now. hmm. not yet, though. not yet. maybe someday soon, i'd be able to.

that's what friends are for

One Spring afternoon, I came home to find two little girls on the steps of my building. Both were crying hard, shedding big tears. Thinking they might be hurt, I dropped my briefcase and quickly went over to them.

"Are you all right?" I asked.

Still sobbing, one held up her doll. "My baby's arm came off," she said.

I took the doll and its disjointed arm. After a little effort and luck, the doll was again whole.

"Thank you." came a whisper.

Next looking into the tearful eyes of her friend, I asked, "and what's the matter with you, young lady?"

She wiped her cheeks. "I was helping her cry," she said.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

it's a funny anecdote, but one with more than a grain of truth in it. i guess that's what true friends are for. they laugh with you.. and cry with you as well. friendship does not require a lot of deep thinking. what it needs is a lot of deep feeling.

true friends. they are hard to come by these days. that's why i'm really glad i have friends i can rely on during troubled times. and i'm most grateful i have a Best Friend i can truly count on in my darkest hours. Who sees my needs and feels my hurts. Who knows my sorrow and heals my pain. Who knows me inside out yet accepts me for who i am. *sigh* i thank God for Him Ü